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Are our Children's sports too competitive?
This archived discussion is "read only".
» Theresa_C - Do we expect too much from our children in sports? I have three Do we expect too much from our children in sports? I have three sons who play sports. I find myself becoming more upset than they do when a game is lost, or when they don't play well. It just seems like I've put so much into getting them to where they are today, that I expect a lot from them in return.I think sports participation builds a lot of character if handled in the right way. They learn to work together as a team and not think of themselves first. They learn discipline and responsibility. They make friends. Along with these positive things there are risks. Risks of injury, crushed egos, hurt feelings. I'd be interested in hearing from other parents and their views. Thanks! TheresaG --
-- posted by Theresa_C » Margot - Well Teresa,I'm not a parent,yet any way.But I was a child.I rem Well Teresa,I'm not a parent,yet any way.But I was a child.I remember the choaches trying to teach team work and the importence of playing to play.The next year,new coach new rules.Then it was win win win.The complete opposite.And this was at CYO(Catholic Youth Org.).It sure left us confused.But my mother told me the difference from winning the game and winning much more.My point is,it's easy for adults to get a little too involved in their children's winning.Het there your kids,of course you don't want to see them loose.But when they do,and they will,Take a deep breath,count to ten,then tell them your proud of them for playing the best game they could. Eileen O'dea - Contributing Editor
-- posted by Margot » Theresa_C - Thanks, Eileen, for your input. I've found that getting a good Thanks, Eileen, for your input. I've found that getting a good coach has a similar affect to getting a good teacher in the classroom. With a good coach they learn so much; with a bad coach/teacher it can destroy their self-confidence and set them back terribly.I think it's really important to check out your children's coaches just as carefully as you would their scholastic leaders.
-- posted by Theresa_C » Gunslinger - I think everything we do as adults is a competition, for many of I think everything we do as adults is a competition, for many of us that's our nature and some say it is human nature. So it is not too hard to get swept up in a childs sport after all we are competeing with the other parents to see who has the most athletic child.My kids are 4 and 3 and I already see the animal comming out in me, and let me tell you it is hard to keep it in check. I think it is even harder because I have that competitive edge from playing sports as a child. The thing we all have to remember is it is their sport and we have to let them sink or swim on their own because otherwise we put too much pressure on them and take away the 'fun' aspect of the sport.
-- posted by Gunslinger » Theresa_C - I agree with you, Taymon. I have a 12 year old who is very natu I agree with you, Taymon. I have a 12 year old who is very naturally athletic. He started walking when he was 9 months old (I'm not kidding!) Just a couple of steps, but it wasn't long after that that he was running (on his toes, I remember). Anyway, he has always been advanced in coordination and is tall for his size (5' 9"), and I have such high hopes for him in the sports field. One thing he seems to be missing is the real competitive spirit. Now this is good in a way, because he never gets angry or ruffled when he strikes out, for instance, in baseball, or with what happened yesterday, when three batters in a row hit home runs off him pitching. He just kind of laughed, because he realized that they were playing in a really small field with the center field fence at 195 feet. He had hit a grand slam home run in the same field the day before. He knew in any other field those hits wouldn't have gone over and would have most likely been caught. His coaches told him to THROW strikes, so he did. He had no problem with it. He is only concerned with if he plays well. (but he's also a team player and knows there's no "I" in team.) *GRIN* The only problem I have with that is that since he isn't fanatic about it, if it becomes too much work for him, he loses interest. (This happened with Basketball.) Baseball has always been a really fun thing for him, but since he was invited to join this elite team a couple of weeks ago he's had to WORK at it for the first time. And last night he was so worn out from playing two games in a tournament out of town, that he came home last night aching, tired, and said he didn't want to play their last game today.Do I just sit back and let him drop out at this point? It would ruin any future he'd have in baseball in our town, including high school. -- posted by Theresa_C » Gunslinger - Perhaps his enthusiasm could be improved if he learns what type Perhaps his enthusiasm could be improved if he learns what type of doors could be opened by his natural ability. Baseball might not be his goal in life but it could help him achieve other goals with scholarships and such. A good reputation as a ball player will gain the respect of others in the community and also help open doors that normally would be closed. "Hey, isn't that the kid that plays baseball? Sure let's give him a job He's a decent kid..."I have seen that several times in my community. You can't push a kid into a sport but you can show him/her the pro's and cons.
-- posted by Gunslinger » Cottage_Garden - Sometimes when things always come easy then kids don't learn how Sometimes when things always come easy then kids don't learn how to cope positively with needing to struggle. It's a tough call but I would point out commitment to the team and pump him up as best I could (breakfast is a good thing) and mention how proud he will be when the day is done and he has done his best -- win or lose. But quitters never win.Barbara Martin -- posted by Cottage_Garden » Masoko_Tanga - Im not even close to becoming a parent yet...however I do rememb Im not even close to becoming a parent yet...however I do remember the problems surrounding the sportsmanship of young people. I remember how depressed I got when I lost a game of soccer when I was young.It's sad to see such competitveness at such an early age. I notice that the ruthfullness comes especially from those who started hockey or other rough sports at an early age, and therefore they develop an attitude that's always "win, win, win". This attitude normally (or from what Ive seen) carries to high school. I remember being at a track meet, running a long distance race, and failing as a result of an injury half way through the race. I was so upset after losing. I realised though that it wasnt a healthy attitude to carry on.
Best Regards, -- posted by Masoko_Tanga » Dana_Decker - Theresa, when I played sports, I was not allowed to quit in the Theresa, when I played sports, I was not allowed to quit in the middle of the season. The first time I ever tried soccer, I enjoyed it immensely, but soon got tired of all the practice and such. My parents wouldn't let me quit. They said I didn't have to play next season, but this season, I made a commitment to the team and I will honor that and do my best. That is what I did, and I really loved it and played every opportunity I could and since I had a natural ability too, I actually did quite well.I don't have kids, but it's the adults that let the kids sports get too competitve. Last year at a little league baseball game, (our friends son was playing) the other teams coach was yelling and screaming at the kids, berating them for striking out..etc. His behavior was so horrible! What floored me even more, is that none of the parents of those children put a stop to it. If that had been my child, I'm sure I would have gone to jail for assalt. Dana Robinson -- posted by Dana_Decker
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