Partners & Parents Blog

In the last few weeks, I've had the unpleasant occasion to learn a lot about shingles - most of which I didn't know until a family member developed this ailment.

What is Shingles?

Shingles is a nasty rash that is very painful. It is caused by the same virus that causes chicken pox virus, and if you have ever had the chicken pox as a child, you are at risk of developing shingles later in life. Those who have had chicken pox as children carry the varicella zoster virus in their bodies. It lies dormant for years, but in later life, especially during times of weakened immune system or stress, this virus can become active and shingles can develop.

Besides the painful rash of shingles itself, "in about a third of cases, shingles turns into an excruciatingly painful disease called postherpetic neuralgia, or PHN. A smaller percentage will get a painful, blinding disease called ophthalmic zoster" [WebMD: Shingles Side Effects].

Is it Contagious?

Anyone who has had chicken pox is a risk for developing shingles in later life. But is shingles contagious? The answer is NO - you cannot catch shingles from another person. Shingles is a resurgence of a virus that is already in your system, if you had chicken pox as a child. So partners can't infect each other with shingles. However, if you have shingles, you can give chicken pox to someone who has never had that disease, since the virus is really the same.

Is there a Cure?

There is no cure for shingles, but there are some treatments that will help to alleviate the pain and duration of the disease. Antiviral medications such as acyclovir, if given within the first few days after an outbreak, can help to reduce the severity and the risk of developing postherpetic neuralgia (PHN) - a common and very painful after-effect of shingles.

Pain medication, antibiotics, and even over-the-counter analgesics may be prescribed. Getting treatment right away is vital. According to WebMD, "Early treatment of shingles is important, because the possible complications can be serious and resistant to treatment. For example, 40% to 50% of people with postherpetic neuralgia do not respond to treatment." [WebMD Shingles Treatment Overview].

Can Shingles be Prevented?

In May of 2006, the FDA approved the first-ever vaccine for shingles called Zostavax. Clinical trials have shown the vaccine to be "more than 60% effective in reducing shingles symptoms. Perhaps most importantly, it reduces painful PHN by at least two-thirds" [WebMD].

The vaccine is recommended for persons over the age of 60, and the cost of the vaccine was expected to be covered by Medicare.

This article is for informational purposes only. If you suspect that you have shingles, please seek medical attention.

June 17 is Father's Day this year. What are you planning for Dad's special day?

Traditionally backyard barbecues and get-togethers are Father's Day mainstays. Perhaps you'll be taking in a baseball game or sporting event with Dad. Or maybe you'll attend a Father's Day concert at one of the free outdoor venues - there are may of them.

Our day is going to be fairly quiet - just my folks and us at a "spaghetti picnic". My dad loves spaghetti and since the weather is so nice, we wanted to have an outdoor day, so we're combining the two into what may become a tradition - the outdoor spaghetti picnic - complete with sausage, salad and garlic bread. It should make for a great day!

Our Suite writers have some wonderful Father's Day ideas. Here's one - a Father's Day T-Shirt craft that can be done at home or in school. Or search for Father's Day on-site for many more great Father's Day ideas.

Happy Dad's Day to all of our wonderful fathers!

The last of our nieces and nephews graduate from high school this year - two actually, one in New Jersey and one in Alabama. Graduation - what an exciting time, but also one that can be a bit daunting for that new graduate.

Leaving the safety of high school can be an exhilarating experience, but with it comes a new dimension of responsibility and "grown-up-ness". College may be on the horizon, or a trade school, military service, or the world of work. In any case - the future can be both promising and a bit of a mystery.

The transition for parents can be challenging as well. Your child is really no longer a "child" but a fledgling adult ready to step out on his or her own. You may have until the fall to prepare for your child leaving the nest at heading off to college, but after graduation, children are naturally going to want to test out their new independence now - long before they actually leave home.

Enjoy these last few weeks with your child, but get ready to experience a new relationship - on in which you are both adults. Your child will still need you as a parent, but your relationship is on the brink of maturing. Embrace that and enjoy it!

Do you love vacations or dread them? I'm usually in both camps. While I love being on vacation, I really dread the planning. I'm sure many of you feel the same, especially if you are planning for the family.

This trip is a special one - we're off for a 10-day sailing vacation to celebrate a special anniversary. The planning took 8 months - countless hours on travel and charter websites, calls to the travel agent, anxiety over flight changes and TSA requirements, and the inevitable packing woes.

But - it looks like everything is finally in place. We're arranged provisioning, planned our itinerary, packed our bathing suits and snorkels, and we're ready to go.

If you are planning a trip, I can sympathize with your anxiety - it can be a stressful time - but one that is well worth the effort. Enjoy your plans with your family - whatever they are!

Attending the prom is one of the most exciting events in a high schooler's life. It can also be one of the most stressful for both parents and child. Here are some prom tips to make this a fun and relaxed experience.

Attending the prom, for both boys and girls, leads to a number of concerns and questions.

For girls there are issues of what to wear, hairstyles, shoes and accessories. How much are you, as the parent, willing to spend on a special dress or shoes? How important is a dress registry to you daughter - guaranteeing that no one else will be wearing the identical dress? Set up a prom budget and talk it over with your daughter before you hit the stores.

And what about that hairstyle? Setting up a "trial" appointment at your favorite hairdresser is a great way to avoid the "day of the Prom hairdo" blues! I'm sure many girls come home and immediately redo their 'do if they haven't tested it out before the big day.

Other issues with girls include makeup and manicures. And of course, dates! In some schools, prom dates are no longer "required" and groups of friends, be they girls, boys or both, can attend the prom like the fancy party that it is.

Boys attending the prom have issues of their own. What kind of tuxedo is suitable? What kind of flowers will his date want? I've know moms who have intervened on both of these issues to help their sons through this occasion.

Boys are also often responsible for prom tickets, the transportation, and after-prom activities. Again, it is important to plan a budget and discuss that with your son. Sharing a limo and attending a free school-sponsored after-prom party can help to reduce costs.

Once all the planning is over - take some great photos of your lovely children, kiss them goodbye and let them enjoy one of the most magical nights of their lives!

Are you in a blended family? Do you know someone who is? Blended Families are becoming more the norm than ever before, with second marriages and step-siblings and all the challenges of family life magnified.

Cynthia Peterson is our Blended Families expert. Her topic looks at all aspects of the blended family from the challenge of running a blended household, to the joys and difficulties of parenting, be they biological, adopted or stepchildren.

Here are a few of Cynthia's recent articles:

• Blended Family Preparation: Before the Wedding Worksheet: looks at many issues that should be discussed and resolved before the wedding, including housing, custody, schooling, sleeping arrangements
• Child Custody Arrangements: Should They Be Changed?: looks at different types of custody arrangements including 50/50 split and the every other weekend plan.
• Staying Together: Choosing to Make Your Marriage Work: offers advice before you consider divorce - especially important in a blended family!

Be sure to visit Blended Families soon.

About a year ago my editor at the newspaper where I work asked me to look into an experimental class at her son’s school. A teacher was investigating how different teaching methods could be used with boys and girls and the effects that those methods had. At that time she had noted anecdotal success in teaching boys differently from girls.

Now, a year later, single sex schools are in the news. According to Edutopia, the magazine by the George Lucas Educational Foundation, there are only 51 completely single-sex schools in the United States [Edutopia, February,2007, page 47]. But many schools do offer single-sex classrooms for some students.

Early attempts to create single-sex classrooms were often frustrated by Title IX regulations, but the new No Child Left Behind Act allowed more flexibility and some schools began to experiment with gender specific schools.

So – are there advantages? Whitney Ransome, co-executive director of the National Coalition of Girls’ Schools says in the Edutopia article, that it is difficult to “assess the value of single-sex schools”, but that their experience shows that girls who attend their schools “attain a level of confidence not commonly seen in girl graduates of coed programs.” [Edutopia, February,2007, page 48].

The debate will undoubtedly go on for years, but the choice is yours. More single-sex schools cropping up around the country – you can weigh the benefits for your child.

Are you a boomer or beyond? Are you a grandparent or a senior? Do you have an aging parent yourself?

Maryan Pelland, our aging and grandparenting expert writes for you! At the Seniors/Grandparents topic, Maryan covers many aspects of aging and grandparenting with articles on senior living, book reviews to fashion tips, to activities to do with your grandchildren.

Maryan is an established freelancer who has written for the Chicago Tribune, St. Petersburg Times, Backroads. She has also written two books and is now working on her third.

Maryan joined Suite 101in July of 2006 and has written a great number of articles that are of interest to anyone over 50. Here are a few of her most recent offerings:

• Reading, Books and Grandchildren
• Six Energizing Tips for Caregivers
• Sony Cyber Shot Digital DSC H-5
• If Grandmothers Ruled the World

Be sure to read Maryan's blogs, too!

Choice Magazine Listening is a free service for those with vision problems. It has been featured in the February 2007 AARP Bulletin and the Today Show. According to AARP, the Choice Magazine Listening program offers free tape recorded readings of over select magazine articles. Every other month, subscribers can receive 8 hours of articles, poetry and fiction readings selected from over 100 magazines.

To participate, you need a free four-track player which is provided free of charge by the Library of Congress through its Talking Book program. Choice Magazine Listening will help you obtain a player if you need one.

The Choice Magazine Listening website lists playlists for each series of recordings, links to obtain the four-track software and details how to sign up for the free service.

According to CML, here are just a select few of the many publications they work with:

• Adirondack Explorer
• American Literary Review
• Business Week
• Condé Nast Traveler
• House & Garden
• National Geographic
• The New York Times
• The New Yorker
• Newsday
• Newsweek
• Playboy
• Rolling Stone
• Scientific American
• Travel & Leisure
• U.S. News & World Report

CML can be reached by email or though their website. The can also be reached by phone at 888-724-6423.

My friends who have children in school tell me that it is report card time in many schools. When do your children receive report cards, and how do you react?

Parents can use report cards as a way to not only keep track of children's progress in school, but also as a time to open discussion on expectations, goals and areas for commendation and improvement.

Here are some ways to use report cards:

1. Talk with your child about each area reported on. Praise them for areas in which they show good progress.
2. Openly discuss areas that need improvement. Talk with your child about problems they may be having and reasons for a lower that expected grade.
3. Discuss reasonable expectations for the next semester or marking period. Don't "shoot for the moon" but do engage your child in talking about reasonable progress. A one-level improvement is doable - going from a C- to an A+ is probably not.
4. Set goals with your child. Perhaps they need to spend additional time on homework. Maybe reading more is an option. Are they spending too much time watching TV or talking on the phone?

Make good use of your child's report card, and if there are questions or concerns, be sure to contact your child's teacher.