Why is My Child Lying?
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Posted by Barbara Gibson Jan 31, 2007 |
Five Tips to Encouarge the Truth
- Avoid asking questions that you already know the answers to. Instead, calmly confront your child with the truth and deal with the issue rather than compound it by making your child feel defensive.
- Practice what you preach. It can be difficult for children to understand that honesty is important if we model dishonesty. Talk with your children about the relationship between trust and honesty and show them that you mean it by being honest.
- Talk about the reason for the lie. For instance, did your child lie because he or she worried about disappointing you or feel embarrassed about the truth? If so, remind your child that you love her/him no matter what and that you don't expect perfection but you do expect honesty. Help your child understand that mistakes are forgiven.
- Avoid labeling or calling your child a liar. This is not helpful and can be hurtful. It is important to "separate the deed from the doer" and to avoid using terms that can negatively impact self-concept and self-esteem.
- Offer attention for positive behaviors. Try to notice if the lying is a plea for attention. If so, look for more positive ways to give your child attention and avoid making a big deal out of the lying behavior.