Barbara Gibson's Blog

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Much of what we say and do as parents springs from what we think and how we feel. We can improve our parenting, as well as our relationships with our children, by strengthening our emotional intelligence.

Being emotionally intelligent gives us the skills we need to name how we feel, and to use that information to manage how we behave and interact with others. Paul and Layne Cutright ,of The Center for Enlighted Partnerships, have developed an exercise called the CURE (Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise) that can help us understand our feelings, their triggers and the resulting behaviors (see below).

With practice we can notice "bad behavior" (screaming at our children, name-calling, belittling, etc.) and its triggers. In time we can begin to understand triggers (their history and the feelings they produce in us), defuse them and resolve our upset in positive ways that help us take care of ourselves and protect our relationships with our children.

The CURE (developed by Paul and Layne Cutright)

Practice walking yourself through a few of the CURE questions to improve your emotional intelligence (there are thirteen in all).

1. I am feeling...
2. I am thinking...
3. I am upset because...
4. The thoughts, attitudes and feelings I hold that contribute to this current upset...

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Five-thirty a.m. comes quickly and filled with hope. Today will be the day I…

Oh well, maybe tomorrow, I console myself each evening. There just don’t seem to be enough hours in the day. Pulled this way and that by responsibilities and distractions, the days I spend are rarely the days I plan.

Take today – the school bus was late as usual, which put me behind an endless line of traffic that I would have missed had I left fifteen minutes earlier. Parking spaces at my usual coffee stop are gone along with any hopes for a quick caffeine cocktail.

How can I gather myself now? I wonder. The week is still fresh but clearly, I’m not. Maybe another spin around the block – timing and a few prayers to the parking gods could help me get my coffee yet. Nope. I am forced to brave the day unfortified.

Reviewing my calendar, I can do this I think. It’s just mind over matter. A brief report to complete and five calls to return before the conference call. A longer report to start and finish, a meeting, more calls and a proposal; later, I’ll run and tonight enjoy the satisfaction of a completed to do list. It all sounds good until the call list grows and I realize 15 minutes into the conference call that it will take longer than I thought. I have what I need to start, but not finish the report and just before my meeting I get a call from school to pick up my sick son.

Again, my list must wait. Not long, though. Five-thirty a.m. and a fresh start are only seventeen hours away.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

You may be wondering what happened to the pleasant, agreeable child that hung on your every word. How is that you've moved from being someone your child believed knew most everything to someone your child is sure knows nothing?

Fights about curfew, friends, grades, computer and telephone time, and chores are frustrating - yes -uncommon - no. Recall now your own teen years. Remember what you wanted. Remind yourself that although you didn't get everything you thought (in your infinite teen wisdom) you needed, you are doing okay. Your teen will be okay, too.

In the meantime here are a few tips to help you get through the testy teen years.

• Listen with the intent to understand (yes, I've said it before, and yes, it's still important). Let your teen know that you heard, and even understood, even when the decision must remain the same. Show compassion and sympathy by using phrases such as: I know it's tough.... I know you're disappointed, but; and even so or nevertheless, you can't use the car tonight.
• Distinguish between privileges and rights. Some of the rights teens should expect are warm shelter, clothing, love, food, educational opportunities and safety. Many of the other things they expect, such as designer clothing, telephones, computers, movie money, etc. are not rights - they are privileges. Sal Severe, author of, "How to Behave So Your Children Will Too, advises parents not to "give the ice cream away for free." When privileges are tied to appropriate behavior - kids have more motivation to behave appropriately.
• Invest in your relationship with your teen. Look for (or create) opportunities to spend meaningful time together, offer specific feedback and praise when your teen meets your behavioral expectations, let your teen know what you like about him/her, avoid down-talking, belittling or humiliating your teen. Teens have less motivation to behave in ways that please parents when the parent teen relationship is strained.

Finally, don't take it too personally. Although it may not look like it most of the time, your teen does love you - just as you love your teen. There will come a time when these years will be a memory you'll laugh about... together.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Comic book, action hero and fantasy lovers should mark May 5 on their calendars. Why? That day marks Annual Free Comic Book Day and the opening of the much anticipated Spider-Man 3.

2002 marked the very first free comic book day. Comic book publishers came up with the idea as a way to encourage new readership. Not coincidentally, the launch of this annual event was set to begin about the same time that Spider-Man hit the theatres.

As in the first year, free comic book day coincides with the nationwide release of Spider-Man - this time the third installment.

According to Frank C. Rizzo, writer for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, enthusiasts can log on to the official site for a look at what books are available this year. If you have a special interest in any of the books featured this year, be sure to check with your local comic book store. All stores may not have the full selection and some stores may limit the number of books you can have for free.

Rizzo assures readers in his April 28th AJC article that there will be gems for young and old comic book fans alike.

Highlighted samples (based on Words & Pictures reviewers) include:

"Legions of Super-Heroes in the 31st Century," a DC Comics offering.

"Owly & Korgi," a Top Shelf offering, and

"Bongo Comics Free-for-All!" a Bongo offering

Read and enjoy!

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Several weeks ago a poster, glendragon, started a discussion about males who lactate. Many visitors to the site (myself included) have been intrigued by this idea.

Most of us know (or have heard tell of) at least one dad that is an active, hands-on parent. He rolls up his sleeves for diaper changes and bath-time, hair brushing and meal prep...whatever needs to be done. But when it comes to nursing, mom is on her own because even if dad has the desire, he doesn't have the ability.

Or does he?

In his 1995 article, Father's Milk, Discover Magazine author, Jared Diamond writes ..."We've known for some time that many male mammals, including some men, can undergo breast development and lactate under special conditions...Lactation, then, lies within a male mammal's physiological reach."

Diamond goes on to note hundreds of documented instances of male lactation among male prisoners of war during World War II. The phenomenon is not only noted among men, but also non-pregnant women.

Lactation has been observed among males and non-pregnant women with and without medical intervention. In cases of medical intervention, subjects had been exposed to hormones that resulted in lactation. Where hormones were not introduced, subjects induced lactation by stimulating the nipples. Nipple stimulation encourages the release of hormones associated with lactation.

Does all this mean that we should start setting up nursing centers for dads or expecting them to encourage their offspring to latch on for late night feedings?

Probably not, according to Diamond, it just isn't in the genes.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Fathers are parents, too. When we think about the daily activities of parenting – carpooling, preparing meals, bathing, laundry and PTA – we typically imagine mom carrying out these tasks. Increasingly though, dad is stepping up to the plate. When it comes time to roll up the sleeves and tackle the hands on work of parenting many of today’s dads would rather get in on the active parenting game than sit on the sidelines.

As men step into more active parenting roles many are re-examining some of their most closely held values around masculinity and manhood. Tough makes room for tender, and relationship building is no longer only about prospects or clients but also about the children in their lives.

Each age and stage of a child’s life presents a different challenge, but most parents regard the teen years as the toughest. As teens move toward independence, the relationship dynamics shift and dad-kid interactions often feel awkward and unwieldy. Dad may begin to find that it is more helpful to be vulnerable than the voice of experience; to listen instead of fix; to take a back seat when he really wants to take charge.

If you are looking for some really good perspective from a dad who has navigated these choppy waters, look to Hugh O’Neill. O’Neill, father to now adult children, writes with the unmistakable clarity of hindsight and self-reflection, about some of the things dads need to know when relating to their teens.

O’Neill’s article, Speaking in Teen: 8 Simple Rules for Communicating Better With Your Kids, is written for dads, but can be useful for moms as well. Read it and let me know what you think.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

If you're like most of us, you and your family spend more time staring at a screen - (T.V. computer, PDA, etc.) than you do looking at each other.

Give it a rest for a week. If you aren't ready to pull the plugs for the whole week, try reducing screen time by just a few hours or a few days. Sure, it may seem tough at first; after all, many of us spend more time in front of a screen than we spend doing almost anything else - except sleeping. But you can do this...

Here are a few tips that might help.

• Sit the children down and talk with them about TV turnoff week and your plan to limit screen time
• Ask everyone for suggestions about what they'd like to do instead. You might consider having everyone in the family take responsibility for planning your evenings or hours without TV.
• Be prepared ahead of time to talk about the anticipated benefits - more time for outdoor play, lively conversations, more time to connect, be creative, feed imaginations... Children should not feel like they are being punished, but that they are being presented with an opportunity.
• Be prepared to set an example - children will hear the television if you turn it on after they go to bed
• Plan activities with neighborhood families if that will make time without television feel more special or exciting.
• Decide what you would like to get out of your TV free time to help strengthen your commitment.

The added bonuses of joining TV turn-off week?

• You may just learn something new about yourself or your child(ren).
• You may strengthen family relationships because you have extra time to spend together.
• You can pull your family out of the same old routine rut.
• Your kids may improve school performance because they will have more time for studies and sleep.

Give TV Turn Off Week a try and let me know about the bonuses you experience.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

You don't have to take a mission trip to make a difference. There are many ways that families can volunteer right in their own communities.

Why Volunteer?

• Volunteering fosters compassion

Example - Volunteering with a program that serves people who are homeless provides an opportunity for parents and children to see human beings (some, parents and children not unlike themselves); real people that cannot be defined solely by their current condition. When we see real people, instead of the stereotypes, compassion compels us to do something.

• Volunteering creates change

It can be easy to feel hopeless about all the ills of the world. Volunteering allows us to turn hopelessness into helpfulness. If we each do something, the problem, whatever it is, is improved.

• Volunteering creates opportunities to contribute

All people, including children, need to feel that they have something worthwhile to contribute. We all feel good when we are able to help someone or brighten someone's day.

• Volunteering is a great way to learn

Volunteering can provide a wealth of experiences that broaden worldview, give new perspectives on social issues, and allow families to connect with people from all walks of life. These experiences can be a springboard for family conversations that help parents share values and priorities with their children.

How can my family start volunteering?

Your family volunteer project can last a day, an hour or it can be ongoing. When you're ready to look for a project, the United Way is a great place to start. Looking for more ideas? You can also try Idealist.org.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Teens and money just seem to go together. And why not, how else can you get the latest and greatest cell phone, jeans, game or iPod? Let’s not even get started on all the places teens want to go and things they want to do that call for cash!

We know teens are going to spend money, and lots of it. So how do we get them to spend responsibly and save a little money, too?

Help them grasp the whole picture.

No matter what it looks like, teens know that money doesn’t grow on trees. What they may not know is what it really costs to manage a household and raise a family. When teens have good information about how the family financial pie is actually divided they are better able to adopt realistic spending plans as well as more likely to get serious about savings plans.

Help them clarify short and long term financial goals.

Discuss anticipated expenses such as the first car, prom night attire and senior trips. Planning encourages your teen to assume some responsibility for these expenses. You can provide support by helping your teen develop a budget and monthly savings goals.

Help them distinguish between wants and needs.

It is difficult for many adults to resist purchasing things that seem “must have” in the moment. The pressure can be more intense for teens. Create opportunities that help your teen

· Learn to delay gratification

· Develop a sense of worth based on whom s/he is rather than what s/he has.

Need more tips? Visit http://www.fdic.gov/consumers/consumer/news/cnsum06/index.html

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Help Children Find Their Own Beliefs and Feelings of Faith By Sharing Yours

1. Talk with your child about what you believe, and why. Encourage your child to talk about what s/he believes as well.
2. Encourage your child's wonder and curiousity about the world; help your child understand the source of that beauty and wonder.
3. Seek out age appropriate stories and activities that provide your child with relatable experiences of your beliefs.
4. Teach your child to pray; and pray together.
5. Help your child find ways to make the world a better place. Even the youngest children can find ways to put compassion into action ("that you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me").
6. Walk the walk as you talk the talk - let your child see faith and belief in action. Be a role model. Practice parenting with patience.
7. Involve your family in activities at your place of worship as appropriate
8. Establish rituals and practices that are rooted in your beliefs.
9. Provide opportunities that help inspire your child and foster creativity.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Parenting a child with ADHD can feel very frustrating and chaotic. In a recent parenting group, one mom described her son as having a motor but no brakes. It seemed he was always on a collision course- knocking into every boundary and rule around him.

Children with ADHD are also often described as:

• Impulsive
• Non-Compliant
• Defiant
• Fidgety
• Forgetful
• Distractible
• Busy
• Chatty

These behaviors can be very disruptive for a family as they make simple tasks, such as trips to the grocery store or getting through dinner, a challenge.

Whether or not you choose the medication route - there are powerful arguments on both sides of the fence - there are other tools you can use to support and reinforce the behavior you would like to see.

Tools

Natural and Logical Consequences (natural example: when you forget your coat, you are cold; logical example: when you are late, you come home thirty minutes earlier, or you come right home after school)

Positive Reinforcement - Notice and reward the behavior you would like to see as soon as you see it. (example:a warm smile and comment about how much you appreciate it that your child played quietly while you were on the phone)

Avoid scenarios that guarantee failure - If you know that a trip to the mall is a recipe for disaster - don't go.

Work on one behavior at a time

Create realistic opportunities for success - You can do this by having age appropriate expectations and understanding the appropriate intervals for positive feedback that work best for your child.

Give clear, specific directions.

Use negative consequences when appropriate - Removal of privileges can be an effective way of reducing misbehavior.

Join a support group...you'll need to someone to vent with.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Ten Tips and Short Cuts for Saving Time and Sanity

1. Compile a list of 3-5 trusted caregivers you can call on for a spontaneous night out: when your child is sick, when you have to work late, or you just need some "me" time. If your child attends school or day/after school care, be sure these people are included on your pick up list.
2. Keep sanity saving friends on speed dial. Need to scream, shout or vent? Plan your outlet in advance to avoid unloading (read exploding) in an unloading (read inappropriate setting) zone.
3. Keep fast fix meals (such as microwaveable dinners or sandwich stuff) on hand at all times. Many states now offer dinner assembly centers. If you have the time and money, consider going once a week or month to prepare all the family meals within an hour or two. The bonus - you get a little time to unwind and enjoy the company of others. Many of these programs (Super Suppers is an example) provide meal assembly in a way that takes out the "chore" and adds in the fun of cooking.
4. Take time to sharpen the saw - In his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey reminds readers that they will serve any task at hand better with a sharp saw rather than a dull one. Recharge your batteries with sleep, exercise, laughter, prayer, meditation or whatever floats your boat. There is nothing selfish about self-care.
5. Let go of guilt - For the most part, we always do our best; an important lesson for all moms is simply this - your best looks different, better, stronger on different days. Don't beat yourself up. Forgive yourself and recharge so that you are able to do better tomorrow.
6. Have children help out around the house as early as possible - There is something that even the youngest child can do to keep the home running smoothly. If you are constantly fighting a mountain of laundry have children do their own as soon as they are old enough. In the meantime, don't save it all for Saturday; throw in a load every day or so.
7. Hire Help - Have you ever heard someone say, "I need a wife?" - if you are financially able, get help with errands, housecleaning, yardwork, etc. If you are not financially able, try bartering or breaking tasks down into lists of things you can complete in 10-15-30 and 60 minute increments. You can check something off of that list whenever you have down time. Having said that...
8. Don't be afraid to forgo mopping the kitchen floor - Yes, we feel comfortable and proud in a sparkly clean house, but in the scheme of things it won't really matter if you take a hot bath or toss a ball in the yard with your boys instead.
9. Keep a calendar - Even if your mind is like a steel trap, it can be tough when you try to keep too many balls in the air.
10. Develop and stick to a routine - Think of your home as a business; when everyone knows what to do, and when, the show goes on even when the CEO is sick or on vacation.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

No matter how strongly they protest children need limits. Limits keep kids safe and provide boundaries within which they can mature, explore and build skills.

Here are a few tips for setting limits for children from toddlers to teens:

• Make your limits matter - limits should be reflective of the values you want to share with your child. They may relate to clothing and language (to swear or not to swear) choices or even activities (such as alcohol use or "R" rated movies). For example, wanting your child to be respectful of others may lead you to set limits around property damage or swearing. It may be less important to you to set limits about cleaning her plate at dinner each evening.
• Limit limits- Too many limits can restrict a child and reduce opportunities to explore and build new skills.
• Make sure limits are age appropriate - Some limits (particularly those related to safety, such as cooking and curfews) should be expanded as children grow and explore. Limits related to values will likely remain constant.
• Limits should be clear and consistent - Make it clear to children exactly what you expect of them and be consistent in your expectations.
• Let children help with limits - as children grow and gain life experiences they may want to have input in setting their limits. This should be encouraged but before discussion, get clear with yourself (if you are a single parent) or your partner about your bottom line. If you aren't sure about what your child is proposing consider coming back to the discussion after you have had some time to think or instituting a trial period. Avoid being pressured into expanding limits when you feel uncomfortable about it. Remember, limits are like lanes on the road. Improper turns and lane changes can cause accidents.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Three Life Strategies for Being a Better Parent

1. Career Strategies you can apply to parenting:

• Establish annual and quarterly goals
• Review your performance
• Identify areas you want to improve
• Seek out opportunities for professional development (mentoring, workshops, reading materials, etc.)
• Work to be a team player

2. Travel Strategies you can apply to parenting:

• Prepare your car for the road by getting a tune-up, brake check, oil change, etc. (in the case of parenting you can prepare by practicing regular self-care)
• Plan your route by consulting a map.
• Ask for directions when you are lost.
• Pull off the road and reconsider your route when you get off track

3. Project Strategies you can apply to parenting

• Begin with the end in mind (in the words of Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families). Think about where you want to go and plan how you will get there accordingly.
• Divide big tasks into manageable pieces to avoid overwhelm
• Rest when you are tired
• Be willing to correct your course (sometimes we over/underestimate what it will take to complete a project - redraw your new blue print with the new information in mind)
• Maintain a sense of humor - if you've ever undertaken a big home remodeling or building project you know what I'm talking about!

Where can you look for hints and strategies that help you improve your parenting?

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Seven Strategies for Talking With Teens

Casual converastions are great. Taking advantage of these moments we can have conversations with our kids (while doing chores or riding in the car) that keep us up to date or help us learn about one another. There will be those times; however, that call for the serious conversation. Use these tips to improve your chances for a talk that yields less eye-rolling and more sharing (or at least listening).

1. Chose a time that allows you to devote your full attention to your teen and the conversation (avoid multi-tasking and give your undivided attention).
2. Listen with the intent to understand (remember, trying to understand where your teen is coming from doesn't mean you agree. understanding simply builds compassion and connection)
3. Check for clarity ("it sounds like you feel... "or "it sounds like you're saying...")
4. Avoid minimizing your teen's feelings (no matter how ridiculous it seems to you, it feels real to your teen. When you behave as if what your teen is sharing is stupid or doesn't matter, you reduce future opportunities for sharing. Listening and affirming is a wonderful way to show you care.
5. Avoid the rescue complex (check with your teen before you jump in to fix it. does s/he want simply to vent or brainstorm together about solutions (an added bonus - when you don't feel like you have to fix it, you can listen with your full attention and without planning your response).
6. Express confidence that your teen will make the right decision or handle the situation appropriately (you may also use this opportunity to remind your teen about the good choices s/he has made in the past).
7. Invite your teen to follow up with you about how the situation is unfolding.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

You can't go wrong if you try some of these tips with teens, tweens and even toddlers!

• offer age appropriate choices
• set clear expectations
• understand your child's age and stage, and parent accordingly
• make sure your child understands the rules
• enforce the rules consistently
• be firm but kind
• admit mistakes
• don't be afraid to say no
• know when your child is hungry, tired, or having a tough time managing a transition
• notice good behavior
• offer regular encouragement
• listen
• spend casual time with your child
• release the need to "win"
• enjoy activities and outlets that recharge you
• let your children do what they can as they grow in ability and age
• keep the big picture in mind to avoid parent peer pressure
• hold family meetings
• decide it is okay if you aren't perfect
• maintain a sense of humor
• ask for help when you need it
• give or take a time out
• take a cue from your kid
• ignore attention seeking behavior that isn't harmful
• ignore behavior that really doesn't matter
• notice progress
• work on one problem behavior at a time
• make sure kids have opportunities to feel successful
• talk less, act more
• say what you mean and avoid saying what you don't mean
• make a list of your parenting goals to refer to when you're having a hard time.
• use positive self-talk, encourage yourself.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Five Tips to Encouarge the Truth

1. Avoid asking questions that you already know the answers to. Instead, calmly confront your child with the truth and deal with the issue rather than compound it by making your child feel defensive.
2. Practice what you preach. It can be difficult for children to understand that honesty is important if we model dishonesty. Talk with your children about the relationship between trust and honesty and show them that you mean it by being honest.
3. Talk about the reason for the lie. For instance, did your child lie because he or she worried about disappointing you or feel embarrassed about the truth? If so, remind your child that you love her/him no matter what and that you don't expect perfection but you do expect honesty. Help your child understand that mistakes are forgiven.
4. Avoid labeling or calling your child a liar. This is not helpful and can be hurtful. It is important to "separate the deed from the doer" and to avoid using terms that can negatively impact self-concept and self-esteem.
5. Offer attention for positive behaviors. Try to notice if the lying is a plea for attention. If so, look for more positive ways to give your child attention and avoid making a big deal out of the lying behavior.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Hello,

I have a 14 yr old daughter, I love her and I think she has a lot to offer. She has a behavior that is out of control. She sneaks and have the boy over to the house. She uses the myspace, she has put a picture of her and the boy on the website kissing in her room of our house. I have no trust in her due to her not following rules and disrespect. When ever she don’t get her way, she throws this fit and tell me what she is not going to do and what she will do. I am so tired of her ways. She is disruptive, disrespectful and very voiceful. I really can’t understand how to get her to understand that she can’t continue acting this way. I sometimes loose my temper with her due to her ways. I don’t know if counseling would help her. I don’t understand her problem. She states I am over protective. At the times of her not in trouble, I let her go places with friends, that being school activities, skating, and other activities. I can’t reach out to her to get her attention. I feel I am failing as a parent. I want sometimes to put her in a boarding school, but I can’t live with myself, I love her to much. I am lost of what to do.

Dear Reader,

I can hear your frustration and your love for your daughter. I’m sorry that you’re having such a hard time with her right now. I know that times like these are very difficult, but please don’t give up on yourself – having a tough time does not make you a failure as a parent. I’ll bet you’re a great parent and even great parents hit a rough patch now and then. You can turn things around. A good place to start would be with rebuilding your relationship with your daughter. It is difficult, especially with teens, to enforce rules when your relationship is not on solid ground. You’ve both probably said some hurtful things leaving you feeling hurt and angry. It is easier for teens to ignore, disappoint and disobey you when they are hurt and angry.

Plan a time that is convenient for both of you, when you will not be interrupted; maybe you could even go for a walk or out for coffee. Talk about the current state of your relationship without finger-pointing, simply state how you feel (I’m sorry I said ______ or did _______; I feel hurt when you talk to me that way) you should each have a turn to share your feelings. Without belittling or judging her choices, share your concern about her dating older boys and having company when you are not at home.

List current concerns or problems and brainstorm together about possible solutions. Keep talking and above all listen…you may hear some clues that help you understand your daughter a little better. Things will not get better overnight, but they will get better. You can speed up the process by spending time together, using the 5 to 1 ratio (find at least 5 compliments or good things to say, such as “thanks for remembering the dishes today, or you look nice, or great job on your report” for every correction you make) and setting clear limits that you enforce consistently.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

These days getting my son to the tub is becoming a trial. The mere mention of a bath or the sound of running water sends him flying through the house with me fast behind him. I have to confess that this game of chase is getting old. If this sounds familiar, take heart! I've been experimenting with a few ideas. Read on, maybe one or two will work for you.

• Make a game of it - try tub toys, bubbles, character towels and even children's music in the bathroom.
• Allow warning or transition time - announce in advance that bath time will be after dinner or after this show goes off.
• Try a shower instead
• Implement a routine - doing things in the same order every evening lets children know what to expect next.
• Use stickers or tokens - children can earn one each time they pleasantly cooperate with your bath time request the first time.
• Laugh it off - some days the chase becomes a game; a playful time between us that sends us into fits of giggles.
• Skip a night - Its okay to skip a night every now and again, use the time to read an extra story or play together.
• Try a morning bath instead - a warm bath can be a comforting way to start your child's day.

Posted by Barbara Gibson

Each phase of a child's life comes with its own special challenges and the tween years are no exception. Enter Vicki Courtney. Courtney has written a book, "Between: A Girl's Guide to Life."

The 150 page book "...attempts to battle negative forces swirling around girls and give them a feel-good self-esteem boost."

Courtney, herself a mom to three teenagers, shares ideas that both parents and tweens will cheer. From the importance of setting boundaries and the inclusion of bible verses in the book to a no-nonsense glimpse at what models really look like before air-brushing and positive affirmations to help girls build confidence, "Between: A Girl's Guide to Life," might just prevent wrong turns.