Men in Domestic Roles
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Posted by Wei Yin Wong Apr 29, 2009 |
While men aren't exactly from Mars and women aren't exactly from Venus, men and women do live in different worlds sometimes, even when they live under the same roof.
Just ask any woman living with a man. Men generally have an impaired cleaning gene. They don't know how to keep things tidy, they don't know where things are kept and they are rarely seen with a mop or vacuum cleaner. Things get a lot messier when there are new additions to the family.
Although the new man is supposed to be more involved in household chores and parenting duties, he is still not doing enough. Not surprisingly, women end up with the lion's share of domestic work. Domestic squabbles over who should do what have caused many a marriage to break down.
Working mums have a tough time juggling career, kids and housework. Stay-at-home mothers don't have it easier either. In fact, they are in a far worse position than their working sisters. Full-time mums don't bring home any income and are therefore sometimes considered inferior to their husbands, who are the sole breadwinners of their respective families. So these mums get dumped with all the household chores.
Which is grossly unfair considering that stay-at-home mums actually work far longer hours than their spouses, who normally put in eight hours a day at work.
I'm one of the many women facing this dilemma. While trying to find ways to get my man to do more household chores, I discovered a wonderful book aptly entitled The Lazy Husband (Piatkus Books, 2005). It is packed with tips and practical ideas on getting men to be more involved at home and with kids. It was written by a man, a clinical pyschologist named Dr. Joshua Coleman. So this man certainly knows what he's talking about!
According to Coleman, one of the most important things for women to remember when it comes to getting help from men at home is to approach men with appreciation, not aggression. In other words, begin by being nice to the man. Appeal to his sense of fair play. If he truly cares about you, he will listen. And if he listens well enough, he will learn to pick up the mop.
To discover Coleman's wonderful tips, read his book or check out some of my articles below, which have outlined some of his and other experts' suggestions.
Sharing Household Chores with Men
Common Excuses Men Use to Avoid Housework
Understanding Different Types of Husbands
Improving Marital Relationships