Love Thy Brother
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Posted by Wei Yin Wong Feb 23, 2009 |
My kids are the best of friends and the worst of enemies, depending on the situation.
With only 20 months between them, Joshua and Joanne are the greatest pals when all is well. Joanne, being the younger one, naturally hero-worships her older brother. She'll never openly admits that but she strives to emulate him in many ways. She also enjoys playing with him, even all those "boy stuff" like Terminator, Yu-Gi-Oh! and Speedracer. Being a tomboy helps, I suppose.
To his credit, Joshua has been an exemplary older brother. He watches out for his little sister and always asks whether she will get a piece of something he's been given. If there is only one, he is often more than willing to share it with her. I can't take full credit for that, though. He's always been like that, without my telling him to do so. That's his nature, I supposed.
Those two are great as a team. Against a common foe, they are a truly united front. It's impossible to pit them against each other. They will shoot down the enemy and go about their usual way.
That said, they are not without conflicts. Oh yes, like other siblings, they squabble and fight – and I mean physically fight – too. And at times, the fights get a tad violent. Intervention is required to break up the fights, of course. But soon, all is forgotten. They will start playing together again after a while.
I'm glad my two kids have a great relationship. Sibling rivalry and jealosy is very minimal between them. I certainly hope they keep this up. But not all kids take a liking to their siblings naturally or easily, especially in big families with many siblings and where favoritism is rife. Deep resentment and hatred may even occur and these negative feelings often continue into adulthood.
That's why parents need to love all children unconditionally and avoid pitting the kids against each other in the belief that it will help them accomplish more things in life. They should also avoid favoritism, listen to all squabbling parties, teach children to be kind and compassionate to their siblings and introduce a new sibling even before it is born.
For more ideas, read my following articles:
Strengthening Sibling Relationships