Love Languages

Posted by Heidi Shelton-Jenck Oct 23, 2006

I’m trying to learn my children's love language.

Authors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, M.D. have written a book about the five love languages of children. It’s a book I recommend to every parent who has moved through the baby, toddler and preschool stages, and is now looking for guidance on raising a loving, balanced and healthy older child.

Do you want your tween to know, without a doubt, that you love them? Of course you do! I do too, but I didn’t realize until reading this book that I might not be communicating my love very effectively.

The authors say that every child has a primary love language. As my kids started getting older, I found it more challenging to connect with them through hugs and cuddles. One of my tweens still needs lots of physical touch. Your tween may still like hugs from you, too. On the other hand, they may be embarrassed by your hugs – especially in public.

The Five Love Languages of Children says that there are different ways to show love to your growing child. You may even be surprised to find out that their primary love language is something you hadn’t ever considered:

quality time

- choosing times to focus all your energy on your tween

acts of service

-performing an act of service from the heart (not just out of necessity or obligation)

physical touch

-hugging, kissing, wrestling, pats on the shoulder

receiving gifts

-giving your tween visual symbols of your love

words of affirmation

-giving simple statements that show verbal appreciation

Read the book and let me know what you find out. Were you surprised to discover your child's primary love language is different than your own? I was!