Christina Gregoire's Blog
Posted by Christina Gregoire
I've written an article about American Girl Dolls. My kids had them. And my oldest daughter looked just like Molly (my daughter and Molly Doll wore glasses).
Actually we took Molly's glasses and put them on other dolls so my daughter wouldn't feel like a nerd when she had to have glasses. What a fabulous help for a mother.
Anyway, the point of this blog is about how moms, grannies, gandpas, anyone can use American Girl Dolls to help counteract American Greed and American Media and the horrid morals and ridiculous consumerism and false truths that are taught to our young daughters.
Anyway, Grandma... check out my initial thoughts on my travel (and everything) blog and my article:
American Girl Doll - Perfect for 6-12 year olds
And do your part to help raise your grandchildren. It takes more than a VILLAGE, it takes a FAMILY. And, boy have I seen it with my own children when my divorce tore their lives apart.
Anyone who has the time, and the love, can do their part to save American Girl values.
I'll be writing more about how to use American Girl Dolls as teaching tools and as a means to teach critical thinking. I just thought this up right now, so I'll have to do more research. I'll get back to you when I've thought about this a bit more.
I don't know if any of the American Dolls come from broken homes, but if they don't... there should be a new doll made for this. (It only took me 20 years to get Rebecca Doll made by American Girl.)
The American Girl Stories deal with slavery, immigration, fathers who lose jobs, feminism, and all kinds of other issues that can be FABULOUS springboards for girls to learn how to look at both sides of an issue. Kids today are influenced by peers, TV, music, shopping malls, working mothers who are frazzled, and all these things twist them in different positions.
The most important thing a human American girl can learn is to think for herself. And, I believe that this can be taught through the issues brought up with the American Girl stories!
Posted by Christina Gregoire
Some of these presents are cheap and some are not, but all these articles will give you some ideas. Accck. No one likes Christmas shopping. Well, maybe someone does. Not me.
Toys Made in the USA - Buy American Made
American Girl Doll - Perfect for 6 - 12 Year Olds
Get Grandma Online - Best Family Christmas Gift
Why an Older Person Needs a Computer
Good Christmas Presents for Teenage Girls
Christmas Presents for Teenage Girls - Accessories
Find a Jenny Humphrey Style Hat (Taylor Momsen on Gossip Girls)
Juicy Couture for Teenage Girls and College Women
Christmas Gifts for Women and Girls Under $200, $100, $50
Best Gifts for Christmas Dogs and Huge Pups
Best Dog Costumes for Christmas, Chanukah, and Holidays
Small Christmas Presents for Tweens and Teen Girls
What's a Good Christmas Gift for a Woman?
Posted by Christina Gregoire
SENIORS, BOOMERS + COMPUTERS
American Girl Doll - Perfect for 6 - 12 Year Olds
Get Grandma Online - That's the Best Christmas Gift
Why an Older Person Needs a Computer
Computer Reading Glasses for Boomers and Seniors
Google Tips and Tricks - Help for Seniors
How to Make Print Larger on Computer Screen
Make Print Size Larger - Change Text Font
How to "Call" Grandchildren by Texting Messages to their Phones
Cool Fun Things to Do When Bored at Work or Home
New Cool Things to Do When Bored
PRESENTS FOR FAMILY
Good Christmas Presents for Teenage Girls 2009
Christmas Presents - Teenage Girl Accessories
Christmas Gift Ideas for Teens, Girls - Knit Hats
BABY BOOMER TRAVEL CLOTHING
Women's Travel Cruise Wear Online
Women's Travel Clothes - Ten Pounds Less Dress
Best Online Catalogs for Groovy Boomer Chicks
Great Women's Travel Wear Sites for Baby Boomer Chicks
Travel Clothes - Dress Your Age in Leopard
Women's Travel Clothes - Dress Your Age in Jeans
Hats !
Cute Women's Hats to Cover Hair Loss
BOOMERS, SENIORS + RELATIONSHIPS
Advice for Women Dating after Divorce
Internet Dating for Divorced Singles
Best Online Photos for Dating after Divorce
Best Places in Seattle to Meet People Over 40, Over 50, Over 60
BOOMERS, SENIORS + HEALTH
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
Oy vey, bah humbug. Christmas is such a difficult holiday for me. The sky is always dark. The kids are with their dad or their boyfriends. I don't cook. And, my husband misses his kids.
Thank God, we have a new puppy to keep us busy. His name is Rocco and he's a little pain in the butt, however, he's so cute.
Anyway, I hope someone gets something out of my article. It was very stressful for me to write because it brought up ghosts of Christmases past, present, and future. Oh, I hope I never write another holiday stress article in my life.
I was going to do two or three articles about Christmas after divorce, but I will have to see if I'm up to it. I should write another because I have more info, but I don't want to get a migraine thinking about all the mistakes I've made in my life.
Peace,
Tina
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
Hi moms and dads,
I know you've got a lot of difficult times coming up with the holidays...I don't know what to say other than, "You're not alone." Everyone with a divorced family has this same crappy problem.
Who gets the kids for Turkey Day? Do the kids spend Christmas Eve with dad and then Christmas morning with mom and mom's mother. And, who's supposed to take the new set of kids or the old set of kids (steps) through the shuttle shuffle to the various grandmother's houses... as everything happens at the same time.
Well, I'm getting a little ahead of myself, here.
Right now, I just want parents and family know that I will try to help you figure out cute and inexpensive fashion presents for your teenage daughters. I only had girls, so I can never figure out what boys want once they hit puberty.
Both of my daughters are adults. One is in college. The other is in high-end Beverly-Hills-area fashion. She's a busy gal, but I try to find out what the celebrity peeps and their friends are wearing, then I consider which trends might work for regular teens.
So, one article about inexpensive knit hats and various scarves is just right for divorced parents who have teenage girls. It may not be right for your daughter, but I'll keep bugging my girls to keep me informed about other inexpensive gifts for the holidays.
Christmas Presents for Teenage Girls - Accessories
Peace
Tina
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
Gifts
Christmas Gifts for Women and Girls Under $200, $100, $50
Good Christmas Presents for Teenage Girls 2009
Find a Jenny Humphrey Style Hat (Taylor Momsen on Gossip Girls)
Juicy Couture for Teenage Girls and College Women
Christmas Gifts for Teen Girls
Christmas Presents - Teenage Girl Accessories
Small Christmas Presents for Tween and Teen Girls
What's a Good Christmas Present for a Woman?
Christmas Gift Ideas for Teens, Girls, Women - Knit Hats
Get Grandma Online - It's the Best Christmas Gift
Holiday
Christmas Holiday Party Dress - Not Always Red
Shoes and Boots
Fall Fashion Trends 2009 - Flat Boots in Europe
Women's Flat Boots vs High Heel Boots
Women's Fashion Boots for Fall Fashion Travel
Best Women's Travel Shoes for Cute Comfort
Best Women's Travel Shoes in Wide and Narrow
Hats !
Christmas Gift Ideas for Teen Women - Knit Hats, Beanies, Slouch Beret Hats
Cute Women's Hats (actually it says to cover hair loss, but these are just beautiful hats for anyone)
The Best Sites for Women's Travel Sun Hats (Yes, that's a pic of me, I'm a hat freak.)
Cruise Wear
Women's Travel Cruise Wear Online
Daytime Cruise Wear for Women with Style
Travel Clothing + Gear
The Best Sites for Women's Travel Wear
Women's Travel Clothing - Fall Fashion Coats
Best Women's Travel Accessories and Cool Gear
Great Women's Travel Wear Sites for Baby Boomer Chicks
Women's Travel Clothes - Ten Pounds Less Dress
Women's Travel Clothes - The Little Black Dress
Best Women's Travel Luggage and Accessories
Women's Travel Clothes & Travel Gear
Women's Travel Clothing and Gauze Tops
Travel Jewelry
Women's Travel Jewelry for Evening Wear
Women's Travel Jewelry with Boho Chic
Women's Travel Jewelry - Classic & Sporty Looks
Boomer Chicks
Best Online Catalogs for Groovy Boomer Women
Computer Reading Glasses for Boomers
Women's Travel Wear - Dress Your Age in Leopard
Women's Travel Clothes - Dress Your Age in Jeans
Women's Travel Clothes and Comfortable Shapewear
Women's Travel Clothes - Dress Your Age in Neon
Work Wear
Women's Business Clothing - Fall Fashion Trends
Women's Travel Clothes for Business
Women's Business Clothing - Fall Color Trends
Beauty
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
Dog Gifts + Clothes
Best Gifts for Christmas Dogs, Big and Large Pups
Best Dog Costumes for Christmas, Chanukah Holidays
Dog Training Tips for Labrador Retriever Puppies
Dog Clothes + Costumes
Best Boy Dog Clothes for Halloween Dog Costumes
Best Funny Dog Costumes for Halloween 2009
Best Girl Dog Clothes for Halloween Dog Costumes
Dog Costumes for Halloween - Designer Dogs 2009
Best Cheap Dog Costumes for Halloween 2009
Cute + Cool Dog Names
Cute Girl Dog Names and Boys - Mexican / Spanish
Cool Unique Dog Names for Big Bulldog Puppies
Unique Dog Names for Labrador Retriever Puppies
Cute Unique Dog Names for Little Small Dogs
Cute Small Dog Names are Girl & Boy Baby Names
Unique Big Dog Names that are cool and Popular
Unique Dog Names for Boston Terrier Puppies
Dog Training
Dog Training Tips for Labrador Retrievers
Dog Friendly Places
Best Dog Friendly Towns Where Pets are Welcome
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
DIVORCE AND HOLIDAYS
Divorce and Holiday Stress, Plus Raising Kids
Christmas Blues and Divorce Depression in Winter
American Girl Doll - Perfect for 6 - 12 Year Olds
Last Minute Presents for Divorced Fathers
DIVORCE AND CHILDREN
Help Toddlers and Preschoolers with Divorce
Parenting Children of Divorce - Infants
Parenting Children of Divorce - Toddlers
Helping Children in Joint Custody Arrangements
Father's Rights and Joint Custody of Children
Father's Rights, Custody, and Move-Away Issues
Blended Families and Sibling Relationships
Step Parenting Children & Joint Custody Issues
Joint Custody Children Need Order & Routine
How to Help a Child Get Used to a New Neighborhood
Single Parents and Summer Vacations
DIVORCE AND WOMEN
Women Need to Make New Friends after Divorce
Advice for Women Dating After Divorce
DIVORCE PROCESS
Choose the Best Divorce Attorney for Your Case
How to Find a Divorce Lawyer - Family Attorney
Divorce Process - Division of Property
Divorce Process - Grounds for Divorce
Divorce Process - Contested Divorce and Trial
DIVORCE AND MONEY
Decisions During Divorce - Keep or Sell a House?
Financial Mistakes Made When Getting a Divorce
Divorce and Low Home Equity in Bad Economy
Single Parents - Keep Car Longer to Save Money
DIVORCE AND DATING
Internet Dating for Recently Divorced Singles
Best Photos for Online Dating after Divorce
Divorce Cruise to Bahamas or Baja Mexico
MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE STUDIES
Living Together Before Marriage
Divorce Rates are Falling as Couples Marry Later
More Single Women than Married Women in US
Fathers' Rights Study in Florida
Big Smile in Photo May Predict a Happy Marriage
LIFE AFTER DIVORCE
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
I have the flu so I thought I'd try to cheer everyone up with this video. I'm just too darn sick to write about divorce. It's not the most enjoyable topic on days like this, but I will carry on because I've been through two divorces (so far marriage #3 is ok) and I want to give you all the help I can.
Baby, when you're in the midst of a divorce, you need to have a shoulder to cry on.
See this divorce video.
Posted by Christina Gregoire
I think that laughter is the best medicine when going through a divorce. So here's a dancing baby video.
Click on this to see some of the all time cutest videos of babies.
Posted by Christina Gregoire
As sad as it is, for a couple to divorce when they have an infant, I believe (based solely upon my own observations) that it may be better to divorce when your child is young.
I was unhappy in my marriage, for years, and I was planning on sticking it out until my kids were in college but it didn't work out that way. I think my kids were 11 and 13. It was a horrible age for them to go through a divorce.
On the other hand, my niece was an infant when her mom and dad separated and that is the only thing she has ever known, so she's fairly well adapted to her situation.
Don't get me wrong. I am not telling people to get a divorce when their children are babies. Oh my God, I hope that no one's children ever have to live through a divorce and the aftermath. I tell people to stick it out and not get a divorce unless there's abuse, alcoholism, drug abuse, or some other terrible problem within the marriage.
I believe that divorce is just terrible for kids. It is great for the adults, but terrible for the kids. And, I know that sometimes divorce is the best option, but the kids really don't have a say. The kids didn't get to choose their parents.
I think that, for many children, it must be like living in a war zone. Of course, I've never lived in a war zone... but for a kid ... that's how I think they view it.
And, that's the reason I like to write about divorce. I want to help people and their kids. That's all I want. If my articles don't sound right to you, let me know. If they are helpful in any way, I've done my job.
Read about Divorce and Infants.
Posted by Christina Gregoire
I am not a lawyer but I have been divorced twice. What I would like to accomplish, with my articles, is to help people understand a little bit about the process of divorce.
Because I am not a lawyer, I think I have an easier time explaining legal concepts to regular people than some lawyers do. And, while I hope that you never have to experience divorce, if you do, I will be trying my best to help you and your children cope with the upheaval.
My latest article is What Should I Know About the Divorce Process? In this article want to give you some of the tools and info to help yourself.
Posted by Christina Gregoire
There is a (statistical) chance that people who don't smile in childhood photos are more likely to get divorced.
So, there is a possibility that all of you divorced men and women didn't do ANYTHING to cause a divorce, and there is a possibility that the divorce was a (almost) a foregone conclusion.
I am not here to point blame. I am not saying that people can't find a way to stay married even in difficult situations. I am saying that it may be difficult to stay married to some people.
Read Big Smile in Photo May Predict a Happy Marriage. And... try to find someone who smiles more for your next spouse.
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
Here is an article about what NOT to do during a divorce. If you are filing for divorce or if you think your husband or wife is going to a divorce lawyer, you should check out this article.
I really wish I had used a divorce financial planner because I had no idea how much things really cost in the real world or how high taxes were. When I was single, I only made minimum wage. When I was married and worked, my husband paid my taxes for me and I got to keep my income for mad money. He took care of the finances. I couldn't have told you what a gallon of milk cost if my life depended on it.
And, my life did depend on it. Well, my life-style did depend on it. I didn't realize how much of a burden it would be that my alimony / spousal support was taxed. I had to dig into my IRA and take out pre-tax money, which meant that I had to pay taxes and a 10% penalty on the money from my IRA.
I was in a higher income bracket when I was on alimony. And, the taxes were terrible. Then the taxes on my modest (in a ritzy neighborhood) house were rediculous. I ended up selling the house. Anyway, consider going to a financial planner to give you a good idea of what your life will be like after the divorce. It's really a good idea.
And, all you women getting a divorce. Take the documents to KINKO's and make copies as soon as possible. My friend got shafted in her divorce. Good luck. Click this for the article about Financial Mistakes During Divorce.
Learn from my mistakes.
Posted by Christina Gregoire
Most cars will go for quite a while when people take good care of them. I know that when I was a single mom, now remarried, I was always friendly with my auto mechanic. It was a big help when my car broke down, but hopefully, if you follow the recommendations in this article, you won't have to deal with that.
Read about how single parents can Keep Car Longer to Save Money. I'm not very good with cars, but I found this info in two different magazines. Cheers
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
After a divorce, there's, usually, not much money to throw away on summer trips. But, you still want to do something fun with the kids.
So, unless you live in Orange County, Disneyland is usually out of the question. Hey, don't feel like you're depriving your kids. Lots of married parents lost some bucks their 401ks. And, they'll be cutting back, as well.
Try to find fun things that take energy, but not money. Camping, hiking, going to the beach, spending real quality time reading to the kids... those are the things that have meaning. Have a bunch of your daughter's school friends over for a slumber party to celebrate summer solstice. (Some parents may be unsure of a dad pulling this off, so it's usually better for a single mom with lots of experience.) Maybe dads could have the cub scouts over to camp in the back yard. Wait a minute... if you're having all of them over, you are going to need the help of another parent.
Anyway, read some ideas for single parents who are trying to come up with getaways or day trips with the children. And remember, don't do anything that will stress you out financially or emotionally. So maybe the cub scout pack was not the best idea for easily frazzled moms and dads.
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
I am very happy to let people know that divorce rates in the US have fallen. There are all kinds of different theories about divorce. Some things make sense on an intuitive level. Examples of this are:
- Older people are less likely to get a divorce. We can all understand that more mature men and women will make more mature choices about whom to wed.
- People with higher incomes are more likely to stay married. Sure, money can cushion a lot of hardships. Couples who don't fight about the cost of soccer uniforms, for the kids, are probably less likely to fight about other things, like how to scrape together the mortgage payment.
- Having a college education means that couples stay together more often. This sounds right. People with a degree (or any amount of college) probably are from a solid upper-middle-class background, or else, they have the guts to stick out years of self-denial, in order to get where they want to go.
I think that we can agree that the above theories make sense. However, then we get to statistics about warm weather and National League Baseball, and I have to wonder. Why would baseball be more likely to keep couples together than college football or having a winning hockey team? I'm going to have to check this out.
For more info, go to this link to read about divorce statistics. I loved writing this article. It's just in time for the Fourth of July. Let's go kiss our partners, see a ballgame, and celebrate!
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
When I went through my divorce, my kids were both over 10. However, I had a niece who was very young when her family broke up. I can only imagine what it must be like to be a toddler and have everything change so suddenly.
While my niece loves her father, it was terribly hard for her to go back and forth to stay overnight with her dad.
I can tell you that little kids do not know how to express their concerns. You must try to read their behaviors... then make your best guess about how to help smooth the bumpy road for them. Explain what is happening with the divorce or separation, and use words that are appropriate for their level of understanding.
Little ones definitely understand more words than you think. Their own speech is limited, but they can tell how things are going by the WAY you say words.
I really like the idea of playing out a family scenario with dolls. I've watched how Molly, a child psychologist, played with my own daughter using toys. (It was unrelated to the divorce.) Here is a short video about Play Therapy.
In the meantime, try reading my article about Helping Toddlers with Divorce. I'm neither a shrink nor a lawyer, but I've been through a divorce with children and I feel like I've been through most of the issues you are going through.
My kids are adults now, so I have more time to read research about helping you and your children, and I am happy to be able to pass on information from various sources. I hope it helps.
PS I found this cute youtube.com video of a dancing baby and I think you'll like it. It's so joyous and upbeat. I'm using this to remind you that after all the divorce crap, both of my kids ended up as fabulous adults. Your kids will have great lives, too. Do your best. Let them know that you love them, and they will have happy lives...maybe not every minute will be happy, but if you love them, you will help them to be happy. Now, watch this little toddler (who is fighting cancer) dance his (or her?) happy dance. So cute!
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
Well, my ex never became a Disneyland Dad, but I've been around it with other dads. I feel like I've seen it all, after spending about 10 years dating divorced fathers. I've seen dads who are so hurt, they take their anger out on the kids (in a subtle, not violent way). I've seen estranged fathers who say they wouldn't know what their kids looked like if they saw them on the street... and almost cry. Oh, I think I'll change the subject to something more upbeat...
I've seen Disneyland Dads.
But, being a Disney Dad doesn't work because kids would rather spend some good quality time with their dads. Something meaningful. Kids want their dads to love them, and not go for the quick rush of fast money. If you are already a Disneyland Dad, the good news is that you can wean your kids off the mile-a-minute extravaganza. And, you can have a lot of fun doing other stuff.
Daddies Dearest should come up with a list of possibilities, but hey, don't do them all:
- Something fun like: A day at the beach, a trip to a waterpark, or a trail ride on horseback (good for many girls).
- A teaching experience like: build a small, rustic wooden table, take kids to the park and give them the camera (not the good one) then make an online photo gallery, explain to a kid what's going on with a TV football game, or show a child what dad does at work.
- Everyday experiences like: make a salad (you can learn together), walk around the neighborhood, organize the garage (just a little), or wash the car together.
Don't spend a lot of money. And, read how to avoid the Disneyland Dad Syndrome. Be sure to take a lot of photos of your kids and send them an album of the weekend, or email them a few snaps when they are back with mom.
Posted by Christina Gregoire
Of course this is last minute! Lots of things I do are last minute. (I don't watch TV, and that's my excuse for not know that Father's Day is almost upon us.)
Here are some of the things that your kids can do for Father's Day. These things cost almost nothing, and they are good ideas for dads, who don't know "what to do with the kids". Money is tight. Be frugal.
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
This is a really difficult subject for me. When I divorced, my daughters were about 11 and 13 and they were living at my house. Their dad bought a home about 3 blocks away so I was hopeful that we could get along like one big happy family living in two houses. Well...that didn't work out.
To make a long story short, one of my daughters went to live with her dad. I think it was the best thing for her, but there is nothing harder for mothers than seeing their kids move away. In this instance, letting dad have custody was the right thing. Every case is different, but parents need to do the right thing for their kids, no matter how much it breaks their hearts.
Anyway, my article on Fathers Rights shows studies about how kids benefit from spending time with their dads. I hope your kids don't have to deal with difficulties, and while I want moms and dads to have happy lives, I really care more about the children. Kids are the ones stuck in the middle of the divorce through no fault of their own.
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
Women, on the other hand, have a lot of factors to consider before deciding to date:
- Children
- Hipness and Happiness Factor: Did your ex-husband beat down your self-esteem?
- Age: Do you, or do you not, look good for your age?
- Dating History or Lack Thereof: Did you marry your high school sweetheart from Saint Kansas High or did you date half the guys in Manhattan before plunging into an ill-fated marriage?
- Friends and Family: Will your friends and family think you're a skank for getting your groove on?
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Posted by Christina Gregoire
When a woman loses her friends, during (or right after) a divorce, she will always have some person say, "Well, they weren't your REAL friends, if they didn't stand by you."
But, you know... they were your friends. You just don't have as much in common with them as you did before. You can't plan a joint vacation, where both of your families rent a cabin at the beach. And, you will feel odd going out to dinner with your friend and her husband, even if you have a date.
You, also, have lost half your money, so you probably won't go shopping at the mall, together.
Anyway, I firmly believe that people from your former, married life, were your friends. They probably still are, on some level. However, it's time to make new pals:
That is why I wrote this: Women Need to make New Friends After a Divorce. I hope it helps you. And, I want you to know that after my divorce, I found two friends who were a great comfort to me.
One gal was super social and knew everyone in town. She was divorced from a local bigwig, but her husband found a good lawyer and left her with nothing but bills. My other girlfriend had two daughters who were in the same school as my kids. It was all years ago, but one of the MOST important things for a woman to do is to find one girlfriend to talk to.
Oh my gawd, it makes such a difference.
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