Kids Who Believe in Themselves

Posted by Susan Carney Jul 27, 2007

My two year old son wants to do everything by himself. His new favorite phrases are “Mommy go away!” and “Jacob do it!” when I am trying to help him with something. He lets me know, loud and clear, that my assistance is not needed. I’m thrilled that he wants to be independent, and I know that this is a healthy part of his development. Though I can’t help but wonder what happened to that little baby who relied on his parents for everything.

Sometimes the task is way beyond him, which can result in frustration and tears if someone isn’t there to quickly restructure the situation to afford him the opportunity for mastery. But when the job is within his capability, or just a smidge outside of it, allowing him to stretch himself just a bit more, the rewards are amazing. His self-esteem is buoyed, giving him the confidence to eagerly tackle the next challenge. He announces proudly to anyone within shouting distance, “I do it!”

Confidence is a key component for life success. Kids who don’t believe in themselves and their abilities often don’t utilize their full capabilities. Achievement, both academic and otherwise, suffers, which reinforces their sense of helplessness. How do we break the cycle?

We need to provide kids with opportunities to build confidence long past toddler hood. Adolescence brings similar conflicts: kids want to be independent, and we want to help them be successful. By carefully offering scaffolded tasks that appropriately challenge them, we can help kids move to the next level of competence.

Please check out Building Confidence in Teens for ways you can help develop this critical skill in the kids you work with.