Married....with children
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Posted by Sean Pratt Aug 19, 2009 |
Happy Anniversary
Shannon and I recently celebrated our 11-year wedding anniversary. Not only did we commemorate a decade of marital bliss, meaning that she hasn’t decided to kill me for being such a goofball, but we realized that this also marked our 21st year as professional actors. Having both graduated college in 1988, we started to work right out of school. It’s been a hell of a journey, both in the BIZ and with each other, and it got me to thinking about what it’s like to be married to another actor AND trying to raise a family at the same time. We have several friends who fall into this same category and every so often I like to compare notes with them, so to speak, about what their experience is like.
First off, let me tell you that I had always said I would never date, let alone marry, an actress. From my experiences in college, I concluded that they were all crazy! For me, the notion of being with a drama queen whose emotions and moods changed with the winds was not something I wanted any part of! Not that we guys in the profession were any better, mind you. You’d be hard pressed to fall for a self-centered, shallow, narcissistic pretty boy who thinks the world revolves around him. So I felt it was better to be safe than sorry and I steered clear of ALL actresses.
Being on the Same Page Together
In fact, Shannon and I both ended up marrying people who were NOT in the BIZ the first time around and ironically enough it was that fact that caused so much strife in our former marriages. The problems were many. Our spouses didn’t really respect what it was we did for a living and were waiting for the day when we came to our senses and got a REAL job in order to make some REAL money. They didn’t understand the stresses of the day-to-day world of an actor; the never ending search for work; the need for validation; the fear of failure. They couldn’t grasp what was required of us, mentally, physically and emotionally, when we were working on a project. Finally, it became evident that the goals we had for our lives weren’t in synch with theirs and this caused a rift that could never be bridged.
Yet precisely because Shannon and I are in the same line of work, it added a completely new level of intimacy to our marriage. We speak the same language about our work, we understand what the other needs to accomplish the job and try to support each other during it and we know that our work is important, both for us personally and in and of itself. Just as I know what it means when Shannon says, “We’re going into technical rehearsals for the play next week.” She understands what I need when I say, “I have to be on set in Washington DC at 7AM tomorrow.” We keep the home fires burning while the other is out making a living as an artist.
What Real Success Means
Of course, this is complicated by the fact that we have two kids, Noah and Olivia. We’ve made the decision to have a family, own a home and have something resembling a normal life in the context of being performers…a tall order indeed! Somehow we have made it work, though on some days we’re a little overwhelmed by it all.
People frequently ask me what I consider the greatest measure of my success; my film work, my education business or my small level of notoriety. I tell them without a pause that what I’m most proud of is being married to an actress, having a family and still doing my work as an artist. It took a huge amount of effort to get here and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.