Responding to Parenting Advice

Posted by Michelle Carchrae Mar 1, 2008

It never fails. Get on an airplane, in a crowded store or a quiet library and suddenly your parenting skills are on display the minute your child begins to make noise. Everyone else considers themselves parenting experts, whether they had children twenty years ago, two months ago, or no children at all. What should you do when faced with a public barrage of instruction, helpful suggestions and perhaps the odd disapproving stare?

In public parenting situations like these, remember that you know your child better than any stranger. You have watched your child grow and develop from the moment of their birth, and you know the quirks and oddities of their personality. You will know better than anyone else what your child needs, and if what they need is something you simply cannot provide at that moment, such as a quiet cuddle in a dark room, do your best to give them the closest thing to what they need with the resources you've got at the time. Maybe that means going to the washroom for a quiet moment, or finding an open space where they can stretch their legs with minimal disruption to others.

And what to do about the dad in the waiting room who is convinced your older child needs harsher discipline? Listen to the suggestion, evaluate its worth for yourself, and if you don't agree it is best for your child, politely say, "Thanks for your suggestion. We're just going to _____ right now and we'll see how that goes." Responding to unsolicited parenting advice in a confident, assured way reminds yourself of your own parenting expertise, and can help you to cope with the situation in the way you know is best for your child.