Death and Dying

Posted by Robert Sharp Jul 29, 2006

I recently learned that a close relative has a terminal illness. As he is already 85, he has lived a long, wonderful life. So there is certainly no regret on his end. I hope I am able to live a life half as interesting. The real problem in these situations is that people are left behind, people who care about the person.

Relatives provide comfort, strength, motivation, inspiration, and much more. Our parents and grandparents lay the foundation for the type of person that we become. We can certainly break from that foundation, partly through a strong philosophical reflection on our actions and character traits. If I decide that a trait I learned from a parent is not a good one (either for myself or in general), I can work to change that part of myself. I don't believe that our childhood dictates the rest of our life, even if it does affect us in many ways.

What is more interesting are the positive traits, the strengths we do not even realize we have until we are called upon to use them. These, too, we often get from a person who helped raise us. From my grandfather, I learned the importance of a good work ethic, as well as the value of education. I learned that success comes in many forms, but all of them depend on self-reliance and self-motivation. No one can make you learn or grow. You have to do it yourself. I learned that a five year plan is better than a five minute plan. I learned that the future is not tomorrow; it is the rest of your life. Our mistakes can be overcome, but only if we recognize them as mistakes and take the time to make our lives better.

The next time you fail to receive a promotion, fail to get into a college you desired, or simply fail to make a relationship work, ask yourself why. Ask yourself what traits you can change and how you can make your life better in the future. It will take work, but remember that someday you, too, will be 85 and nearing the end of your life. Will you be able to face it without regret?