Single on Valentine's Day

Posted by Naomi Rockler-Gladen Feb 2, 2007

It's Valentine's Day, and you're single. Bleh! Yes, you know that it's all a bunch of Hallmark hype aimed at selling chocolates, flowers, and jewelry. Yes, you know you're a perfectly fabulous person and you don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend in your life to feel fulfilled.

But it still sucks, huh?

If you're single, hang in there! I spent way too much time in my college years and beyond bemoaning my single-hood. Looking back, I don't know what I was so upset about. I had plenty of friends and a very busy life, so it's not like I was lonely. Plus I had lots of freedom, which is fabulous when you're a student. I could litter my floor with a moat full of books around my computer and no one would care.

It's harder in some colleges than others to be single on Valentine's Day. Couples seem to be the norm in some colleges, as well as engagement. When I as an undergrad at Rutgers, I barely knew anyone who got married right after college. We knew one girl who got married after her sophomore year, and the general consensus was that she was nuts. (No offense to people who choose to get married when they're young. This was just our snooty 19-year-old opinion.) But when I taught at a small liberal arts college, lots of students got married right after graduation. Engagement rings were everywhere.

If it seems like everyone is part of a couple but you, relax. College romances sometimes lead to lifelong relationships, but most often they do not. And post-graduation marriages sometimes lead to lifelong marriages, but they sometimes lead to disaster. Believe me, it's way better to be single than to be stuck with the wrong person. I got married when I was 31, and I like to tell people I skipped my first marriage.

So, be nice to yourself on Valentine's Day! Get some single friends together and go out to dinner. Have an anti-Valentine's Day party. And don't let Hallmark get you down. And if you need to vent, join the Valentine's Day discussion!