Fear of rejection

Posted by Mitch McCrimmon Mar 14, 2007

Everyone falls along the continuum that ranges from wanting to be accepted by a group to being happy to be more independent. At one end of the scale, you might want so much to differentiate yourself, to be self-reliant and to stand out, that group rejection doesn't bother you. At the other end of the spectrum are people whose whole identity revolves around group membership, so much so that they are overly conformist in their actions. To ascertain whether you have the confidence to lead, you might begin by trying to determine where you are on this continuum. If you are somewhere around the middle, the key to challenging the status quo safely is to start small. But it is also important to recognize that you need to make some suggestions, even if they aren't too hard to accept, if you want the respect of your group. Acceptance cannot be won and maintained just by being agreeable and nice. People need to respect you as well and this means standing up occasionally for some potentially unpopular ideas. It's all a matter of how you present those ideas. It's not about never saying anything.