Advice to Keep Mom's Identity

Posted by Melissa Chapman May 15, 2006

Since writing the article about how important it is for us stay-at-home moms to keep our identites intact, I've really gotten some great responses from other Moms who have a lot to say about how they unwind, and/or how being a stay-at-home Mom is not synonymous with having nothing to talk about except for your kids poop that day!

I think it is a struggle to keep ypur sanity and to also keep who you, as an individual person, are intact and make sure you have your own needs met. But the truth of the matter is that, if you don't make yourself a priority now, and indulge your passions, volunteer, exercise, maybe even get a part-time job, if you don't carve out a life for yourself, you might wake up 10 or 20 years from now, when your kids are off living out their own lives and wonder- whatever happened to mine? Don't let this happen to you- read about what some of these Moms had to say and let me know what you think!

Jodee Redmond- you can reach her and check out her site at

paranormal.suite101.com- had some really intersting observations that I thought a lot of us might benfit from, or at the very least feel validated by!

The suggestion about getting up before the rest of the family works for me. I set my alarm for an hour before the rest of the family gets up and I use the time to have coffee (outside if the weather is good), read the paper or part of a book without interruptions, read/answer e-mail, etc. Since I started taking some "me" time, I have a lot more energy and patience.

"Sometimes I think the easier approach is to go back to work and let someone else deal with your kids all the time...but think of all the wonderful things we would miss if we weren't at home with our children!

Maybe you could also deal with the concept of other

women who once they find out that you are a full-time

parent, assume that you have nothing to say for

yourself. I didn't stop thinking, having opinions,

reading the paper, etc. when I gave birth, thank you

very much! I have always made a point of not turning

into the kind of woman who has nothing more interesting

to discuss than how often my kid pooped today and what

colour it was! (OK, now that I got that off my chest -

why, when the Women's Movement is supposed to be about

choices, do some other women behave like those of us

who choose to raise our own children have let the rest

of the team down? It's supposed to be about choices,

right?)

Her's what Belinda had to say: (You can reach her at http://kidscrafts.suite101.com)

"I have been a SAHM for going on 26 years now. (We celebrate our 26th anniv in June). We have also always homeschooled our 7 children. It's important to find time for not only yourself but you and hubby as well.

Here are some things we do:

hide in the bathtub with bubbles and a book

make a weekly date night (yep we date AT HOME!)

teach the kids to honor your private time alone or together.

go for long walks.

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