Helping Out With a Report about Teens and Parents
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Posted by Alex Sharp Feb 18, 2009 |
Recently a student emailed me with some questions (the school required a first person source, which I think is a sensible requirement - if you want an expert, all you need to do is look online and start emailing). Here are the questions and my answers, so when other people run into this sort of project, hey, look! The questions and answers are done.
What affect do you think peers have on other teens?
Well, peers offer conditional acceptance and love - teens only get approval by meeting the standards of their peers. This is a different relationship than family relationships, where people are loved no matter what. The result of conditional love is that teens are much more aware of what their peers want and expect and are more driven to meet those needs.
Why do you think teens would rather follow in their peers footsteps rather than their parents?
I am not sure I agree with this, actually. Teens will usually follow a parent's general direction. Parents who went to college usually have teens who are college-bound, for example. Teens live in the same time period as their peers, so it is easier for them to follow in their peers' footsteps. They can't recreate their parents' experiences a generation later.
Why do you think teens feel they are not being listened to or understood?
Well, because truthfully they are misunderstood and often parents are trying to hear what they want to hear, rather than what the teen is trying to say. On the same coin, teens do not communicate situations, they communicate emotions, and it is hard for parents to respond to that.
Do you think teens need attention if so why?
Yes, of course, teens need attention. They are in a stage of transition, leaving the world of dependence and entering the world of independence. They need to know that their parents will still love them and want their company even as they stop being their children and start being their sons and daughters.