Gifted Kids and Friendship

Posted by Alex Sharp May 17, 2009

The May 16, 2009 Dear Abby column interested me because the first letter is from a 12 year old girl who wants friends who can match her level of conversation. At first I thought the letter was written with her mother, because of the odd phrasing ("pals?") and the lack of mention of anything middle schoolers talk about - the virtual friendships of facebook, myspace, twitter. However, I think that the phrasing is exactly what happens when kids talk to adults more than other kids.

Part of Dear Abby's response addressed the importance of gifted education, which is in need of program support and student teachers for program growth. Dear Abby said, "Many school districts offer special classes for gifted students" and in her description of what she advised the girl, she addressed what happens in gifted classes:

• "interact with other girls and boys who are also intellectually advanced"
• "explore activities ....let yourself go ....have some fun"
• "time to.... be carefree"

I would like to write a series about concerns with gifted friendships, so if parents, teachers, and yes - gifted kids - will email me some experiences and questions, I'll start putting things together. I have over a decade of teaching gifted kids to draw on, and that does lead me to one thing: I know which kids are not good friends, and the signs of it, which I wrote about when I was the featured writer for Parenting Teens in Understanding Deviant Peer Associations.