Q: How Do I Cope With Bad or Toxic Parents?

Posted by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Aug 9, 2009

Are your parents abusive, neglectful, addicted to drugs or alcohol, or otherwise toxic? A reader asked how to cope with her toxic parent (her mom) on my How Energy Vampires Drain Your Spirit article. She's 18 years old and still living at home -- and moving out is the first thing I suggest!

Coping With Bad or Toxic Parents

1. Think of it in terms of an "abusive" relationship. How do you protect or save yourself from an abusive relationship? You put as much distance between you and the abuser as you can. For help leaving, read How Do You Leave a Mentally Abusive Relationship?

2. Avoid being manipulated by guilt. Toxic or bad parents -- or any abuser -- often manipulate their victims with guilt, emotional blackmail, or in other ways. To cope with toxic parents, you need to recognize when guilt or emotional blackmail is occurring. Read 3 Tips for Children of Difficult Parents for more info.

3. Focus on your emotional and physical health. You need to make decisions based on creating your own healthy, happy life. It may seem selfish, but when you're coping with bad or toxic parents, you need to put yourself first. What kind of life do you want to lead? What kind of people do you want surrounding you? To cope with bad or toxic parents, you have to put your needs above theirs.

For more info on abusive relationships, read 5 Stages of Leaving an Abusive Relationship.

If you have any questions or thoughts on coping with bad or toxic parents, I welcome your comments below...