How to Leave a Bad Relationship

Laurie Pawlik Kienlen, Psychology Feature Writer, Bruce Kienlen

Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Oct 5, 2009

A reader recently asked how to leave a bad relationship on my 4 Different Types of Abusive Relationships article. Here are my suggestions for her, plus a few links to other articles about leaving someone you love, who isn't good for you.

How to Leave a Bad Relationship

If you're being abused, it might be more complicated to leave your partner. For more information, read Help for Battered Women.

Get an outside perspective of your relationship. Sometimes, when we're in the midst of the whirlwind of a bad relationship, we can't see it for what it is. And, we get trapped into staying and "forgiving and forgetting" -- even when we know better. Getting an outside perspective of a bad relationship from a friend, relative, counselor, pastor, or any person we know and respect can be an effective way to leave.

Accept that it's hard to leave even a bad relationship. Leaving our comfort zones -- even if they're bad relationships -- is difficult. It's hard to leave what we know and jump into the insecurity of the unknown. To leave a bad relationship, realize that you're not necessarily afraid to leave your PARTNER...you're just scared of the unknown of moving on and starting over.

Figure out why you're not respecting yourself. Sometimes we stay in bad relationships because we don't respect or love ourselves, because people earlier in our lives taught us that we're unlovable -- or that we don't deserve to be loved. Is this why you're in a bad relationship? I don't know...but the sooner you figure out what's keeping you there, the sooner you'll be able to let go of that partner.

Here are a few links to articles about leaving bad relationships:

I hope this helps, and that you can leave the relationship, start healing, and learn to love yourself!