How Do I Know If I Should Break Up With My Boyfriend?

Posted by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Nov 5, 2009

A reader asked an important relationship question ("How do I know if I should break up with my boyfriend?") on my What is Emotional Cheating? article. Though I can't answer that question for her, I can offer some general guidelines about relationships that may (or may not have a future).

It is a good idea to break up with your boyfriend when:

• he's not treating you right mentally, physically, or emotionally
• he mistreats your children, family members, or friends
• you don't feel good about yourself or accepted in the relationship
• you have totally different personalities (although extroverts and introverts in love can have a healthy, happy relationship)
• you're staying in the relationship because you feel guilty, pressured, or afraid to be alone
• you're cheating on him emotionally or physically
• he's cheating on your emotionally or physically
• you don't think you can love him the way he deserves
• you don't want to be physically or emotionally intimate with him
• you and he have different goals in life
• you can't see yourself married to him, or you're marrying him because you want to be married
• you're not friends with your boyfriend (because passion comes and goes!)

For help breaking up with someone you don't want to hurt, read How to Break Up With Your Boyfriend.

If you're worried that your boyfriend will be depressed or devastated about the breakup, read How to Stop Feeling Guilty Over a Relationship Breakup.

You may also want to read Letting Go of Someone You Love -- because even if you're the one doing the breaking up, you may still feel sad afterwards.