How Do I Deal With a Boss Who Bullies? Articles for Employees

Laurie Pawlik Kienlen, Psychology Feature Writer, Bruce Kienlen

Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Sep 27, 2009

On my How to Stop Being a People Pleaser article, a reader asked a question about her boss, who is a psychological bully. "I want to master myself and prove to myself that if I ever come across another person like this that I won't put up with it." She wants to know how she can confront a boss who bullies.

Here are a few suggestions, plus a list of articles for employees...

1. Take an assertiveness class or workshop. One of the best ways to learn to be more assertive at work (and in life in general) is to practice in real life! Assertiveness training classes or workshops give you information as well as the opportunity to role model what you're learning, and get specific feedback.

2. Start small when you're dealing with a boss who bullies! Standing up for yourself can be difficult, especially when it's your boss. But it's possible to assert yourself at work without making enemies. I recommend starting with little things and working your way up to the bigger issues.

3. Teach people how to treat you. One of my favorite life lessons is that you have to teach people how to treat you. People -- bosses, parents, partners, or strangers -- push boundaries and sometimes try to take advantage of others. But, they can't get away with behaviors that you don't allow! That is, people can't treat you poorly unless you let them. Always remember that when you let people push you around, you're teaching them that you accept that behavior.

4. Remember that you'll have to be repetitive. This reader who asked about standing up to a bullying boss in "How to Stop Being a People Pleaser" mentioned that she confronted her boss once already. But, clearly once is not enough! To stand up to a boss who bullies, you have to be prepared to keep standing up for yourself...eventually he or she will get the hint.

You could also consider getting a new job. Read How to Successfully Change Careers for tips!

Articles for Employees

If you have any questions or thoughts on these ways to stand up to a boss who bullies, please comment below...