Help for Surviving Abuse and Abusive Relationships
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Posted by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Sep 17, 2009 |
Here’s a list of resources for surviving childhood abuse, surviving partner abuse, and overcoming abusive relationships in general (such as difficult or toxic parents, or psychological bullying).
But first – a reader asked a question on my When You’re a Victim of Abuse article. She (or he) doesn’t know if the childhood abuse occurred because she doesn’t remember, but her mom tells her it happened. Her question was about getting closure – how does she move on without knowing for sure if she was abused?
Below are my thoughts on the two options she has. And just below that is a list of resources for surviving abuse and abusive relationships.
1) You can let it go. Since you can’t recall if you were abused, you’re not being tormented by memories or thoughts. You can focus on living a full, happy, healthy life and put all questions and thoughts about the possible abuse aside. This takes practice – it’s not like you can just decide to forget and be done with it. You’d have to remind yourself daily (or whenever you start wondering about the abuse) that it’s in the past, it’s not affecting your life today, and you’re choosing to move forward and leave the past behind you.
2) You can get professional help and support. Talk to your doctor, get a referral to a psychologist or counselor. Online website are great for getting basic information – but serious psychological issues need to be dealt with in person, with a trained professional. If you can’t afford to see a doctor, then call a local or national help line. Or, talk to a pastor, rabbi, school counselor – someone who is trustworthy and experienced in dealing with survivors of abuse.
Regardless of which option you choose, you won’t get the closure you need from your parents or your brother. You have to find a way to settle this in your own mind – and settling it in your own mind may not involve discovering the truth. You may never know what really happened, and you might have to learn to accept and live with that.
Even if you decide to let it go, I encourage you to talk to a counselor at least once. He or she can help you find healthy ways to move on.
Resources for Surviving Childhood Abuse and Abusive Relationships
Resources for Surviving Partner Abuse and Abusive Relationships
- How Do You Leave a Mentally Abusive Relationship? Elizabeth Gilbert
- 5 Stages of Leaving an Abusive Relationship – Tina Turner
- Husband Abuse – Emotional and Physical
Articles About Overcoming Bad Parent or Sibling Relationships
- 3 Tips for Adult Children of Difficult Parents
- Psychological Bullying
- 6 Ways to Help an Alcoholic Sibling
If you have any questions or thoughts about surviving abuse or abusive relationships, please comment below....