Happily Childfree - Married, No Kids

Posted by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen May 15, 2007

"Married No Kids" is a huge discussion topic on many women's sites. Childfree women discuss baby showers, celebrities' decisions to adopt, how kids behave in public, and what to tell people about their childfree status. They defend their right to have kids. They support each other in breaking the news to parents and in-laws. They vent their anger and share their feelings.

And maybe couples without kids are to something: "Most studies have shown that psychological well-being tends to decline when people have kids," says sociologist Amy Pienta, from the University of Michigan. "In mid-life, being married or having a partner has a greater impact on a woman's well-being than whether or not she has children."

So, being with an intimate partner can provide more happiness than children! Interesting. I wonder why psychological well-being declines when you have kids…is it because you're concerned about their safety, happiness, and basic needs? I don't have children so I'm just speculating here….maybe it's because you don’t' have the same freedom that you once did. You can't pursue your own passions and goals - or fulfill your fulfill your potential - with the zeal you once did (or wish you did before the kids came along).

In our pro-family culture, being childfree really is stepping out of society's comfort zone. I don't know many people who've chosen it – though I do know some infertile couples who are childfree, but not by choice. If you're arguing with your spouse about whether you should have kids, read Resolving Conflict in Marriage.

And for more info on being childfree, but not by choice, go to Quips & Tips for Couples Coping With Infertility.