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Sep 30, 2007
Avoiding Emotional Cheating
I've written a slew of articles on emotional cheating; the most controversial one is, without a doubt, Avoiding Emotional Infidelity: 10 Rules That Protect Your Marriage From Emotional Affairs.
It's based on Dr Gary Neuman's book called Emotional Infidelity: How to Avoid it -- and he's got some pretty strong advice for couples. I'd heard some of the suggestions before, from people who've cheated and from conservative religious folk. Partners who have been betrayed also support this advice, saying it guards your marriage or partnership.
Perhaps it does - but it could also isolate you from real relationships with others. But, if you have a real relationship with your spouse, do you need meaningful relationships with "outsiders"? Each couple makes their own world, with its own rules and language and customs. Dr Neuman's suggestions could protect your world from intruders - or it could barricade you from others, making you an island unto yourself.
More articles about emotional intimacy include How Emotional Cheating Starts and Emotional Affairs.
Comments
May 24, 2009 6:34 PM
Guest :
I am guilty of emotional cheating and I somehow don't feel as horrible
about it. Mainly because I tried everything I could to get my husband to
help me work on our marriage. I really and truly wanted us to rekindle
what we had when we first met. He continued to tell me that it was gone
and to deal with it. He would tell me that he is content and tell me to be
content. Meanwhile, I take care the children, worked full time, and the
home but who takes care of me. No one. I don't get hugs, gifts for
special ocassions or noticed. I am a very attractive woman but hardly gets
noticed at home. At work all day and in the street I hear how beautiful I
am but not from the person I need to hear it from. I often warned my
husband of how cheating would happened. I told him all it would take would
be some pretty little thang to pay attention to him and then he would be
off like my sister's husband. He ignored me as usual. The only thing was
it wasn't him that got caught up, it has been me. I have always believe in
being faith in relationships and I still am to a certain degree but I am
ready to get out of this marriage. Now I am torn between being almost in
love with someone else and trying to figure out how I can survive after the
divorce. I don't want this marriage anymore. We got married for the wrong
reasons. I didn't want to raise another child myself and I thought I could
live with him but I can't live like this. I need to be touch, held,
pampered and I know there is someone out there that will treat me the way I
want to be treated otherwise I think I rather be alone. My friend and
would just talk at work. I enjoyed talking to him, he relaxed me and I
enjoyed hearing about his career. I often to get him a resume disk and
told him to email me to remind me and that's how it started. We started by
emailing and later we exchanged numbers. Now we met frequently during the
week for 20-30 minutes just to see one another. We have not crossed that
line and I am avoiding it desperately. I don't want that reputation and I
am trying to get out of the marriage I am in before I take things any
further with him. I want out and I am tired of feeling neglected. Even if
I don't date my friend, I still want someone who is going to hold me and
show me the love I desire and I don't want to beg for it all the time.
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