A Letter From an Introvert

Posted by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Aug 13, 2009

This is letter from a reader describes his introverted personality traits and how people react to him. They want him to change, which is just plain wrong! Here's his story and question, plus my answer about whether he should change his personality.

(By the way, if you're an introvert and want to learn more about your personality traits, you'll find something helpful in Top 10 Articles About Introverts).

Dear Laurie,

Every one of those articles written on introverted people describe me perfectly. I already knew I was introverted but it just confirms the fact. It seems most people are extroverts and outgoing and that’s just not me no matter how many times I try to be. I was told that using being introverted is an excuse for not being outgoing but I am what I am. Sometimes, people think something is wrong with me because I am not as outgoing as they are and they don't understand it. They usually feel like I need to change who I am in order to fit in and that doesn’t work.

For instance, I don’t always immediately return phone calls or answer the phone period when people call. If I call them back, it's usually on my time when I'm not writing my books (probably another introverted activity). People have been upset with me because I don’t like talking on the phone all the time. It's hard to get extroverts to understand me and it is frustrating at times! This has affected my dating life. I am a male and most women don’t make the first move. If people talk to me, then I can talk a lot but I don’t usually initiate conversations and it feels uncomfortable to do so.

Again, I've tried practicing it but it's not working how I thought it would! I'm 27 and I still have yet to find a way to cope with my introverted personality. Some guy told me you can unlearn being introverted but I don’t see it...or feel it! I just wanted to get your opinion on this and I'd appreciate your time!

Sincerely,

Mr. Introverted

To Mr Introverted:

Laurie