Khadijah Ali-Coleman's Blog

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

I encourage all youth workers to become familiar with the concept of structural racism and its impact on how it affects those of us who work with urban youth who typically are deemed "at-risk".

Click here to read more.

I will focus a future article on this topic. As the report states,

"As youth development and youth organizing practitioners and thinkers engage in this dialogue, much more attention and reflection must be directed toward the question of how to strike an effective balance between providing individual support and promoting youth leadership in social change."

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

With the recent tragedies of school shootings, namely the incident involving the Amish schoolhouse, gun violence has become, once again, a media focal point and political issue, coupled with school safety. How do we feel comfortable sending our young ones off when danger can be lurking around the corner?

Inner-city youth have known for years before, though, the horrors and constant insecurity brought on when guns enter the schools. In Washington DC, schools like Ballou Senior High School, are virtual memorials where memories peek from every corner in rememberance of slain students who are victims of rampant gun violence in schools.

In my recent articles, I hope to offer guidance for those who work with young people who live within environments where hope is hard to come-by. As the years progress and we work to encourage positive youth development, it is resilience that will determine how successful a young person will become.

Read Part I and II on the importance of resiliency. Part III intends to offer additional tips on offering support to enhance this necessary coping mechanism.

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

During training to be certified in Advancing Youth Development, participants are asked to think of a loved one who is a child and/or student and imagine what you would write them in a letter if you had to tell them your wish for them. Almost always, participants think of their own children or a relative who they care for deeply. They write of wishes for their young relative to stay away from drugs, make wise choices and be nice to others. Never do they wish for them to feel pain or suffer hardship.

Once the participants write their "Dear Little..." letter, they are always asked what went into coming up with their letter. Often, participants share that they have written things they wished they had had a chance to say but maybe never got around to sharing.

As professionals, we have at our disposal opportunities almost every day to interact with young people who view us (hopefully) as credible examples of what adulthood is. While we interact with them, we have the power to convey messages-- through actions and words.

I feel that a lot of times we have a general idea of what a "positive" or "good" example or wish is for the youth to follow, but it usually is so vague and rarely speaks to showing how to get to that ideal. We want a child to stay away from drugs but don't offer roadmaps when they may live within a drug-infested community or be bombarded with offers to use drugs daily.

I encourage everyone who reads this blog to become more invested in speaking outside of generalities and to become more intent when making suggestions or modeling "good" behavior to be able to provide specifics to youth on how to reach their own sense of ideal. Often, that has little to do with avoiding something entirely, but it requires arming youth with information to make their own decisions based on their own sense of value and criteria.

When I was training to be AYD certified, my Dear Little letter included my hope that my daughter develop her sense of intuition by listening to her inner voice and trusting that above the wishes of her peers. I wished for her that she would demonstrate love for herself by speaking kind words to herself behind closed-doors and otherwise and understand that loving others begins with loving self. I would hope that these wishes for her would lead to being drug-free and not pregnant as a teen, however, if her choices lead her to taking on responsibility early or suffering hardship as a young person, I hope that she will recognize the supports she has around, if solely herself, to strengthen her resilience.

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

Regardless of where you are located, I implore you, if you are a youth worker professional, to become acclimated to doing your research. Youth workers nowadays don't all have degrees in education or have classroom experience. A lot, if not most, of the professionals who work with children are those who have educational backgrounds in varied fields, but have a passion with working with young people. And, we appreciate you.

What is critical, though, is that, regardless of your background, you remain relevant to the young people you serve by staying on top of what it is you need to know. Are you a bit rusty when it comes to ways to energize a room of young people or are you unfamiliar with psychological terms that may apply to different developmental stages young people are experiencing? It's okay-- initially-- but ultimately, its up to you to get schooled in the areas that matter.

Unprepared youth workers often are of little help to young people who deserve support and attention to the particulars of their development experience. Seek, don't run away from, the training and information that can aid you in doing the best job you can.

Suggested internet searches:

Advancing Youth Development Theory

Psychosocial Development

Classroom Management

Resiliency

Mandatory Reporting Laws

Professional Boundaries

Youth Worker Standards

Good Luck!

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

Membership and belonging is a need that young people seek to meet when they make friends, join clubs and generally engage with others on most levels. You can tell if your program is meeting this need when you have regular participants who come at-will and bring others with them.

I tell program staff all the time that they should spend less energy devising elaborate recruitment efforts if they have youth who are already engaged in your program activities and enjoying what it is your program has to offer. They are your biggest advertising tools!

Enlist young people in the recruitment effort by finding roles for them and asking them for their valuable feedback. If feasible, allow them to take lead roles by forming recruitment committees and earning incentives for recruiting others.

Recruitment is not an adult task only anymore! Check out the article this week that gives specific ideas on how to incorporate young people in the recruitment effort.

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

My sisters were in middle-school when 9/11 happened. As their eldest sister, I was anxious to reach them at their school as I learned of the horror happening in New York and near to where I lived in a small suburb of Washington DC. As I rushed, with my mother, to pick them up early from school, I could view dark clouds of smoke billowing in the sky ahead of me as if the Pentagon was a touch away. In actuality, the Pentagon was a good twenty minute drive in the distance, but the thick smoke loomed so close. This was a nightmare.

As I ran inside to fetch my sisters as my mother held guard outside, I was one of, it seemed, dozens of relatives with the same idea in mind-- find our babies and get the hell to safety! The office was shaken and confused, never having an emergency of this magnitude, they were frozen. They had not told the kids in the school what had happened. Only the few students who had disobeyed the rules and had their cell phones on, receiving calls from home, were aware of the tragedy unfolding. I grabbed an office worker and begged them to go to my sisters' class to get them for me. I told them the teacher of one but did not remember the other's class room. As if divinely ordained, that sister was walking down the hall as the office assistant ran to get my other sister. I grabbed my sister and hugged her to me as I explained what was going on. When my other sister arrived, we dashed to the car to drive home.

While at home, we watched the news together and my mother and I answered any questions my sisters had. Later, we discussed what some alternatives would have been for my sisters if my mother and I were not able to reach them. We talked about where a family meeting place would be and we shared numbers of relatives we would contact. In the midst of this tragedy, my sisters were learning techniques to staying afloat in the midst of conflict. They were able to help create an emergency plan and while being taken out of their comfort zone, were able to think about and discuss the "what ifs" and plan solutions in the event that tragedy should strike again, and, God forbid, closer to home.

What I implore all parents, youth workers, etc. to remember is that each event that takes place is an opportunity to empower youth to learn and grow. As we recognize times of great tragedy in our personal lives and in the history of our nation, let's identify how our review of history can aid youth in developing resiliency.

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

I firmly believe that some people have innate leadership ability and some don't. I firmly believe that some people have a certain level of charisma that is necessary to attract people and lead their behavior for better or worse. Given that this is my belief, I do believe that for most people who ultimately lead groups of people, leadership skills are not necesarily innate and often developed when given the opportunity to implement and modify. When the opportunity is presented during adolescence, there is more time to see what works and what doesn't so that leadership roles during adulthood are more manageable and achievable.

It is not by chance that many of our leading figures in politics, education and even the entertainment field held leadership roles as young people. Roles in Student Government Association, a Peer Leader program, Boys Scouts or a Youth Judicial Board are wonderful learning grounds to prepare young minds for future roles as leaders.

If your program is one that does not have many opportunities for youth to serve as leaders and test their skills, recognize that this is a learning need that either will go unmet or met somewhere outside of your program-- for better or worse. Think outside of the box and include the youth in the discussion to inject meaningful opportunities for youth leadership development.

Do you operate a program that has a successful youth leadership component? If so, we'd love to hear about! Start a discussion and share.

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

Some youth workers believe that they are doing their job if the youth they work with aren't experiencing any type of difficulties whatsoever. If they can solve all the problems of their youth, then they are doing their job. Not so.

If possible, let the youth find solutions and implement solutions to thngs they are experiencing with gentle support to help when needed. One activity I have done in the past is have the young people in my group make a list of things they would like to change in their community. Then, have them narrow that list down to things that specifically pertain to them. Then, from that list, pick one thing that they find most urgent to address. From there, they are to brainstorm and develop an outline of how best address this problem. From this activity, they learn critical tools of how to strategize and goal-set. Frome there, you, in tandem with them, develop a timeline to address this issue.

Over the course of this timeline, the youth will struggle, fail, start again and plateau. However, this process is a crucial part of youth development. Youth will appreciate their success more if they worked hard to accomplish it. Our role is not to do the work for them. Instead, we are to be supports, the cheerleaders who urge them to go on, give advice when solicited, step in when appropriate and be a shoulder to lean on when things get tough. Don't cheat them out of their triumph by doing all the work!

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

Youth can facilitate a group just as well as an adult sometimes. Research shows that young people, especially teens, are more apt to follow the advice and instruction of a peer in some instances before they follow the advice of an adult.

Think about it- whose opinion is more valuable- someone who has more in common with you and living a similar experience as you NOW or someone who is older, never been a teen during your era and can only give personal testimonies of "back in the day"?

Peer facilitation is highly effective and can give adult facilitators insight on some techniques that they can infuse in their own facilitation style. Incorporate peer facilitation in your agenda and allow opportunities for youth to shine as facilitators. It's two-fold- you are contributing to advancing youth development and you get a little break while you're at it!

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

True, it would be nice if every child had a program they were a part of that met all their needs and totally occupied them until their parents came home to spend time with them or direct them in an activity that was positive until it was time for them to go to bed. The reality is, however, that that will NEVER happen! Programs are different, youth are different and parents are different and there is no formula that will create an environment where every single person is satisfied, focused and learning positive things all day, every day. It just ain't happening.

However, in the meantime, programs that are currently being funded or being created as we speak can make themselves more relevant and ultimately more successful, is by making sure they connect first with the population they are targeting.

Get out there in the streets and let people know you exist. Get out there in the streets and ask those you plan to "help" what it is they need help with.

Every time I hear about a killing in the street or another car stolen by a young person, I hate to hear someone on the news state that there isn't enough out there for young people to do. The problem, is that there is, but no one knows where they are. Make sure people know your program exists!!!!

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

I was on the phone with a Direct TV agent to clear up a problem that was evident in my billing. The operator who received my call was brash and rude from the beginning. She talked over me as I explained the mishap. She disregarded my request for her to pull up my file and check the reference notes applied from my last call. Ultimately, out of frustration, I asked her what was her problem, she was the rudest person I had ever spoken to and she hung up on me! I was able to report her and get fine assistance from another operator. My needs were ultimately met.

Such are the ways of the adult world.

How often do we see a situation similar to the one I shared where it is a young person in my place? A young person seeking assistance or having a problem and an adult not listening to what their need and then invalidating what it is they are going through. I've seen a young person come to an adult who was supposed to be their case manager be turned away from receiving services. The young person had shared that they were having problems with going to a job interview because they couldn't afford the bus fare. This young person didn't have family support, was in transitional housing and-- obviously-- didn't have a job to make money-- so they weren't able to make it to the job interview that was located outside of walking distance. The case manager had access to bus tokens to give to the young person but hadn't thought to make this fact known. This case manager had known about the young person's history but didn't think to make an offer of support by providing bus tokens. Instead of being accountable to this fact, the case manager blamed the young person for being lazy.

I can give example after example of how we are adultist in our thoughts and actions. According to the Freechild Project, adultism is the oppression of all young people that happens from the day they are born simply because of their young age. It is presented in the attitudes of every adult who occupies the same space as young people, including parents, teachers, and youth workers. For example, adultism is expressed by treating the young person as weak, helpless and less intelligent than adults. For many, there is verbal, physical, and sexual abuse. Oppression of young people conditions them to accept all other oppressions that exist in the society.

We can begin to stop adultism by listening and actually hearing. Stop belittling. Speak respectfully. What are some ways you aid in ending adultism?

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

For some reason, I'm one of those people who if I wear something different or do something different, I get a lot of flack from other people. They say things like, "You are so weird" or "Who did your hair?" or "Why are you doing it THAT way?" or they believe that something I did that was especially great was done by fluke or with ease that can be easily replicated. Then, without fail, they are following suit shortly after. And-- and this is the funny part-- they think it was their own idea.

I have to quell my ego a bit and not take offence to this fact often. Mainly, I look at the positive. I use this super power (said with a smile) to my advantage when working with young people. It's a wonderful component of promoting youth development.

I was on the popular show Showtime at the Apollo years ago and youth I worked with or lived among in my neighborhood were very excited for me. Most importantly, they believed that there was the same chance that they could be on television. To see "Ms. Khadijah" on television singing meant that the reality was just that much closer for them. I had youth drop by and visit-- those who I hadn't worked with or seen in ages and they wanted to know how they too could be on television, how could they work on their singing too. Even when I began writing professionally and garnered recognition with articles I had written, youth and adults began to ask, "How can I start writing too and be in papers?"

During these times are when I put in my spiel for learning, dedication and practice. I have a Master's degree in Mass Communication and I've been singing for years prior to being on television or in a band later. Coupled with my education, was a commitment to sticking to what I had spent years studying and finding opportunities-- paid and nonpaid-- to showcase those talents. But the behind the scenes, the struggle, is not what people first consider. They just see the fruits of that labor. It's our job to share the behind-the-scenes struggle and use it as an example when we are talking about the outcomes.

A lot of times, as youth workers, we preach to young people and tell them what they should or should not do but rarely can showcase our lives as examples of what the benefits of doing the right thing are. Even if we don't want to use our lives specifically, have an honest conversation with young people to let them know that to get the prizes in life, there will be certain things necessary to go through before getting that reward. In most cases, it's finishing school, choosing friends wisely, and creating and sticking to clear goals.

I encourage to be a trend setter. Demonstrate with your own life why following your dreams, being educated and demonstrating perserverance work. If you don't have something in your own life to attest to the fact that education matters, making positive choices matter and perserverance helps, then how are you a valuable or valid resource for the youth to listen to? If you are still a work in progress (as most of us are) and striving towards your goals, then share that reality to. Young people need us to be honest with them and consistent when we speak to them about the future. Our words matter more than we know and support youth in their crucial stages of youth development.

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

I made a challenging decision to leave my last place of employment after working there for five years. Initially, when I first started, I was enthusiastic, motivated and encouraged each day to give my all and do my all, never hesitating to take on the extra load of work when appropriate. I conducted psycho-educational groups with young people witin an afterschool and in-school environment, doing it all, like we often do as youth workers, serving as counselor, teacher, coach, food server, etc. etc. all rolled into one. Within my first year I was promoted to a supervisory position, supervising a staff of full-time and part-time staff doing what I had done intially starting out.

Over the years, my commitment to working with young people never waned, but my enjoyment in the particular role I held began to diminish greatly. I knew it was time for me to leave when my attitude towards others began to change.

I shared my own personal tale as an example of what can and often does happen to those of us who choose to work within the very challenging field of youth work. We give, give, give and often the responsibilities don't diminish, but, instead, increase as we excel in providing services appropriately. What I recommend is that when we begin to dread coming to work or our attitudes toward our colleagues, and in some cases, our youth, we do some serious soul-searching and reflection and determine if we are where we want to be. For me, the issue was clear for me that I wanted to stay in the field of youth work, but it was clear time that I begin to create a new path that worked best for me. That path began with leaving where I was and beginning to focus on areas that included training providing resources for youth workers while beginning to work with another age group. For me, during my self-reflection I realized that I need to not feel like I'm being stagnant. The more irons in the fire for me, the better.

What's your soul's desire in the field of youth work? If you're not feeling where you are, definitely assess if you need to get out quick!!! An unhappy youth worker is of no use to promoting positive youth development!

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

One of the things that really disturbs me is when youth workers make the comment that the reason they have built a rapport with the young people they work with is because they make an effort to look like them, talk like them and do the things they do. Relating to another person doesn't entail becoming that person.

Often we see that adults who do not work well with young people are those who are adultist in thinking-- they believe that their ideas, actions and traditions are better simply because they are older. Adultism stunts authentic communication and makes young people often feel as if their thoughts and ways are less than when compared to those of adults. When fostering positive youth development, adultism, then, does not fit into the equation.

However, what I'm seeing now, to avoid adultism, is the new trend in the field of youth work where youth workers in and entering the field, alter who they are or stunt their own personal growth to maintain or begin relationships with youth who may be more difficult to get to know. Whether it is mirroring the way young people dress or choosing to speak the same-- using slang terms and certain accents-- these adults believe that it is more advantagous to be like the youth in more ways that are visible in order to make that first and lasting impression.

I disagree with this reasoning.

I ask that you think about the adults who helped you during your youth who made the biggest impressions. Was it the ones who emulated the way you and your friends behaved, or was it the ones who were compassionate listeners, supportive shoulders to lean on and fair decision makers? Though our times have definitely changed and youth are more progressive in many areas while less developed in areas that were more accessible to us when we are young, the fundamental needs structure is the same. Youth need us to be adults, not big children.

It is our duty to show pride in that which makes us who we are-- adults. If we demonstrate that it is more advantagous to look and act young and immature, then we feed into the notion that many youth already have of adulthood being tired, boring and a drag.

The challenge is making sure that as an adult, you are not fitting the sterotype of being oppressive, close-minded and stuck in your ways. You can be progressive, "cool", and easy to relate to without selling out and masking that which makes you a mature and interesting adult. When young people watch adults who are happy in their skin and are not playing a role, they respect who you are and look forward to their own growth as young people. Youth don't want youth workers who want to be them. They want and respect youth workers who show them that being who they are and who they will become is not so bad after all.

Posted by Khadijah Ali-Coleman

A youth worker is someone who works with young people-- whether they be a teacher, coach, after-school worker, parent, etc.As a youth worker professional, I am encouraged in my work when I learn of new ways to bring youth workers together to learn strategies that work best when we work with young people. I've found that the Advancing Youth Development (AYD) theory developed by the National Training Institute (NTI) best captures the essence of what it is we do and puts it into a language that can make our terminology consistent and describe the work we do in a descriptive way that validates what we do in a meaningful way. The curriculum for this theory also goes one step further and introduces concepts such as adultism into our consciousness to help us explore what baggage we bring with us when we are interacting with youth.

As you visit this site, you will find discussion and resources that will aid you in your understanding and involvement in youth work. Working with young people is an often challenging and thankless job that requires dedication, compassion and training not often expected in other fields. I will also use vocabulary that you will find helpful to use when describing those pivotal things you implement within your programming to best meet the needs of your population.