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Posted by Joanna Karpasea-Jones Oct 12, 2007 |
Imagine my horror when I opened my email inbox to discover an email from a journalist, asking if any disabled couples could contact him if they wanted to give birth to a disabled child or if they were undergoing pre-implantation genetic diagnosis to achieve this.
I am a disabled myself and part of a disabled couple, as my children's father has HMSN, a genetic disability.
After a year of heated debate on whether we should have children, I got pregnant.
Every time my child fell over, my stomach would be turning in knots. Was that the disability or was it just because she was toddling? I went through that with each of my children, watching for signs, waiting, and being on an awful rollercoaster.
Were we selfish to risk it as relatives said? I still don't know the answer to that question.
I cannot imagine deliberately going out and making a disabled child, because that goes beyond taking a risk and beyond selfish. Just because I don't mind having cerebral palsy, that doesn't mean my child won't mind. If you feel that strongly about parenting disabled children, why not go and adopt some? There are plenty of unwanted disabled babies out there.
As for the woman with dwarfism - I don't think she's mature enough to be a mother. Being a mother is not about having a baby that looks like you, like a matching twinset or coordinating handbag. A baby isn't an accessory like the latest cell phone cover, he or she is a real person, who may not thank you in a few years time when they realise you didn't love them enough to allow them to be different from you.