Joy Huber's Blog
Posted by Joy Huber
By now we all know that Lorenzo chose Jenn, the schoolteacher from FL, in Monday's Bachelor finale. I really thought that Sadie would be his final choice, so was a little shocked & stunned.
Don't get me wrong; I definitely really like Jenn. Lorenzo could have chosen worse, as in, say, ERICA . . or Lisa! Jenn is pretty, sweet, funny, and seems to really care for Lorenzo vs. being interested only in his money or status. It's just that from the way the show was going I was truly seeing a connection between Sadie & Lorenzo and thought for sure she was a shoo-in for the winner!
Then I was reminded of something that happens in reality TV, and for ratings. This "something" is called EDITING! I have to consider, perhaps things were edited together to give me/us one perspective, so we think Sadie is going to win, and then it is a surprise and twist at the finale? Maybe they edited out a bunch of the good stuff with Jenn!
So one never knows! In the December 11th issue of US Weekly, Lorenzo is quoted as saying, "But I had more chemistry with Jenn." He gave Jenn a nearly 3-carat diamond promise ring and they will see what happens to their love when "reality" sets in and they are back in the US and their normal lives.
Looks like the next Bachelor has already been chosen! Bachelor Andy is the next Bachelor, and he is one attractive, nicely built man. Vote on what you think of the newest Bachelor and this show in my current poll, and have a great week!!
Posted by Joy Huber
Wow, look at the voting going on in the current poll!
This is a hot topic for sure. If you have a really interesting "juicy" story about dating a friend's ex, or even dating an ex's friend *(two really different things when you stop to think about it), I'd love to hear it. E-mail me at dating@suite101.com.
Currently, we're neck and neck with a maybe, it depends on the person (& what a good catch they are!) tied with the talking to the friend to see their thoughts (Good Idea.). In close second though is absolutely not, indicating once your friend is done with them they are still off-limits!
Next, comes the exact opposite of that and a sure, since they are over the ex is fair game and just another fish in the sea!
Keep voting, and encourage your friends to come to the site and weigh in and check out the variety of articles! Have a Great Week!
Posted by Joy Huber
Tonight I watched the 2nd episode of the new season of "Desperate Housewives" on ABC. My, all kinds of dating and relationships quandries going on there! Bree got married tonight to Orson, a man who appears to have a mysterious and likely murderous past. Looks as though Susan may get drawn into a new dating relationship. I look for her to fall in love right about the time Mike awakes from his coma . . then decisions, decisions!
Lynette is married yet, but trying to cope with the one-night stand her husband had over 10 years ago living just down the street. Did I mention she's also around and in their lives constantly? Ah, the challenges of the ex-girlfriend still being in the picture, or in this instance, the ex-one-night-stand?! Gabrielle it appears is going to divorce Carlos and get back together with her man-tress John.
I just coined that word: readers, what do we call the mistress who's male?? :) It's not a Miss, but a Mr. I don't know about Mrtress, so I'm trying to come up with my own.
I'm excitedly awaiting tomorrow night's 2-hour Bachelor premiere, and I couldn't help but notice ABC was advertising that heavily tonight. It starts at 8:00 Central time. The October 9 issue of US Weekly has an interview with Prince Borghese.
Prince Lorenzo is 34. Yes, the girls knew he was a Prince before the show so no surprises there. It'll be interesting to see who's genuinely interested in him, and who just wants to become Italian royalty and a "real live Princess!"
Look for more on the premiere of The Bachelor later this week. Have a Great Week!
Posted by Joy Huber
Hello readers!
Do you ever have a dating dilemna? Ok, well that's a silly question huh! You ask your friends, and maybe you ask your family for advice. Do you wish you could ask someone else? You could get a totally fresh perspective this way from someone who's not extremely close to you and won't tell you the answers you want to hear!
Early this Summer I started thinking with all my dating and relationship experiences in my 20's, "Maybe I could really help some readers with their unique dating situations." We talked of doing an advice column then but since readership at the page has grown so substantially this Summer (Keep on e-mailing the address
dating.suite101.com
out to your friends and contacts to check out this FREE page!), I thought I'd remind you. :)
Therefore, I'm thrilled to (re-)announce the debut of a "Dear Joy" via my e-mail, dating@suite101.com. E-mail me with your dating situations and questions and I'll be answering your questions in some of my upcoming articles as well as writing on additional topics. This will start in mid-October so I'm giving you a few weeks to get those situations down on paper and get em' in!
Couple things though . . first and foremost, make sure you put "Dear Joy" in your subject line so I can separate those seeking answers from those e-mailing with thoughts and secondly, let me know if you'd like me to keep you anonymous in my article. Otherwise, you'll be listed as "Jill in Cincinnati wrote in with . ." Happy to protect the innocent (guilty), but let me know! If you have questions on this, feel free to e-mail me too and ask. I look forward to hearing from you soon! Remember the adage "Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger than a friend?" I thought it may be easier to get an outside opinion from someone who doesn't know you as well as your friends & family. Another perspective to your dating dilemnas is now only an e-mail away . . . . dating@suite101.com. Have a Great week!
Posted by Joy Huber
We all remember where we were on this particular day when we first heard the news, what we thought, and how the day and our feelings evolved as new information came to light.
For me, the anniversary is a time to remember and reflect on what's really important in life. It reminds us that life is a gift that's graciously given to us, and we need to live each day to the fullest.
Here a few things I'm reminded to do for loved ones, and I want to remind you to do the same.
We all have loved ones in our life, whether we are currently single and dating or just single and looking, engaged, married, or whatever relationship we are in. Loved ones come in the form of significant others and spouses, but also parents, children, other relatives, and friends.
1. Tell your loved ones what they mean to you. Tell them you love them and the special things they've done for you that you appreciate.
2. Do nice things for your loved ones, just as a good deed. For no particular reason, we are reminded we can and should do nice things for our loved ones. Run an errand for them, or give them a gift out of the blue.
3. Spend time with our loved ones doing things like going for a walk, sitting and drinking some hot cocoa and visiting, or going to an event together (sporting event, show, etc.).
Make the most of each moment, and truly seize the day to spend time with loved ones, do nice things for them and tell them how you feel.
Have a Good Week!
Posted by Joy Huber
After seeing an ad when watching a "Desperate Housewives" re-run last night, I went to ABC.com to confirm for you. The Bachelor (They say it's season NUMBER NINE, WOW! I'm trying to remember . . in no particular order . . Alex, Aaron, Bob, Travis, Andrew, Jesse, Charlie, I'm missing one!) will be
premiering it's latest and greatest season of drama for us on Monday, October 2nd. So less than one month to go!
This time they are promising a real live Prince of a Bachelor with a 34-year-old Prince taking the Bachelor honors. The back-drop for this season is romantic Rome.
I have decided for the readers' information and entertainment to debut a special "Bachelor Episode Review" article series to be posted within two hours of each episode's conclusion. Be watching for it, and e-mail me with your comments, or start a discussion on it!
Special features in these articles will include: show re-cap (If you don't have time to watch an episode just login to my page & read a synopsis!), funniest moment, cattiest
moment amongst the girls, favorite bachelorette, least favorite
bachelorette, including possibly some others. See what you agree with and what we differ on!
As the temperatures drop and the Fall television heats up, are you ready for some . . romance? We'll see what this latest season of The Bachelor brings!
Posted by Joy Huber
What do you think?
I've been pondering this a lot lately as a recent visit to CBS.com showed them casting people for a new show; I believe it was called "Hook Me Up."
Also at last check on ABC.com, they are currently casting for new Bachelorettes for the next, latest & greatest version of "The Bachelor." Looks like this guy is an actual Prince!
Of course I will be tuning in and watching; I've been hopelessly hooked on the Bachelor since the second version featuring Aaron, the semi-snotty bank guy from the St. Louis area if memory serves correctly. He chose Helene and a new obsession of mine grew right along with their romance. Unfortunately, my Bachelor mania didn't fizzle as quickly as their romance!
Does television exploit dating and take too close and personal of a look into . . well, our personal lives? Or is this appropriate for primetime television? As I debate the morality of it, I still tune in! It's like a train wreck, and one knows maybe they shouldn't watch because it's not right to be this tuned in to something this personal and intimate in people's private lives.
In the very same way though you're sucked in by the intimacy of it all. I'm sure you'll see articles on the latest season of "The Bachelor" on here later this Fall.
What are your thoughts regarding this topic?
Posted by Joy Huber
WOW! Partially out of boredom with my inability to meet new people in my part of the country due to how much professional travel I do, and mainly because I write on this web site and I thought it would be a fun "experiment" to do (on myself), I have signed up for a match.com profile!
I only opted to do this for one month, again since it's an "experiment" to be able to share with my readers! (Think Kate Hudson's "Andy" character in "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days," where she was doing research for an article at her magazine, except I'm not quite that blond! :)) After getting all the necessary requirements met, my profile has come up and is posted (in the past 24 hours).
To me one of the biggest pros to doing this was the ability I strongly feel online dating or matching gives you to meet people you would likely not meet otherwise, right? So I thought in the month perhaps I would hear from or meet a few new people right? Wrong!
I have been flooded with winks and e-mails! In a way its exciting and encouraging, however in a way overwhelming.
Before I signed up on match, I did a search (using my stringent selection criteria as I've discovered I've become quite picky!) to even see if there was anyone on the site who I would be interested in trying to e-mail (and seeing what happens!). I did uncover two gentlemen who I thought looked quite interesting. So I was thinking I would wink or e-mail them . .
In the meantime, I have received winks or e-mails from another eight people! As I mentioned, in less than 24 hours! So tonight I'm thinking I need to somehow respond to . . 10 different gentlemen?!?!
This would never happen at the bar or club, right? I have never met that many new people in 24 hours! See, that's one of the pros however one of the cons of online dating/matching. PRO: You get contacted by and could meet all kinds of new people. CON: You get contacted by all kinds of new people!
Dating I ask, why does it have to be all feast or famine? Stay tuned for more on this month-long adventure. Have a great week!
Posted by Joy Huber
I have been doing a lot of reflecting on "my 20's" as that time came to a close and what I learned and what can be applied in "my 30's," a new decade that I'm theming with "fresh starts."
Of primary importance, I'm grateful to be 30 and still dating. I realize I changed so much from 20-29; wow! I definitely understand why people grow apart over time. Just the changes each individual goes through as the years roll by are staggering!
I learned a lot about myself, and most importantly, I learned what I need in a partner relationship vs. what I thought I wanted in a partner. As previously mentioned, I changed and what I really need in a companion has drastically changed. It's not about looks near like it used to be, because regardless of facial characteristics, body type, etc. he can't possibly continue to look exactly that way as time goes on. 30 years from now though someone who is easy to talk to about anything, a great listener, romantic and considerate, and my best friend will ideally still be, even though his hair will gray or fall out, and wrinkles will form in his skin! :)
I have also figured out that despite what everyone who has called me (and possibly you too if you're adding candles to the cake and staying single) an "old maid," or over the hill or whatever has said, an insurmountable brick wall did NOT drop permanently separating me and the institution of marriage when my 30th birthday came. I have not married yet, but I still have the option to do so at any time. I may next year, or I may when I'm 41. I may when I'm 83! Or not at all.
I'm rather enjoying dating and meeting and learning about people. I may apply my knowledge learned throughout my 20's in the dating world vs. the marriage arena for quite a few years yet to come. Dating is Fun!
Have a Great Week!
Posted by Joy Huber
I also wanted to follow-up on this because I saw a blurb on it in a past issue of Good Housekeeping magazine. I believe this was in the February issue, the one with Kirstie Alley on the cover. Here is the gist to save you time!
The blurb specifically starts off with "Long-distance relationships tend to be more stable and satisfying than those of couples who live under the same roof," according to Mary Carole Pistole, Ph.D., of Purdue University. So see, there's hope for those of you yet who are separated by time zones!
Dr. Pistole says in the blurb, "Long-distance partners aruge less over trivial matters and don't take each other for granted."
The blurb also discusses partners living so far apart have to have more interesting lives; essentially they can't expect the other half of their relationship to provide "the fun in their life." So pick up and pursue your own interests! What is a new hobby you've always wanted to learn more about?
People separated by distance also have to work harder to stay close, as I mentioned in my article. They make the most of the time they do have together instead of lounging on the couch all the time taking each other for granted because they only live fifteen minutes apart and have the "we can get together whenever" mentality. Plan special romantic things and make the most of your time together to strengthen your bond.
Have a Great week!
Posted by Joy Huber
What didn't work? What did we learn from the other person about what we want and more importantly, what we need in life and in a partner?
But aside from this, can and should we study dating like we study other topics in academics and business?
I've been thinking on this more seriously recently. A book called "The Five Love Languages" was suggested to me in the past month by a professional colleague, and when I went in search of it at the bookstore, I found the more recently published, "The Five Love Languages for Singles."
I've begun reading this excitedly and intend to write some upcoming articles on this topic because to me it's very interesting and something we should all learn and think more about.
Have a great week!
Posted by Joy Huber
As I'm burnt-out like all the firecrackers will be tonight on the relationship game after trying (and failing, yet again I might add) to make something work with an on-again, off-again relationship, I'm curious on if I need to take a break from dating altogether. That seems a little boring I must admit. Dating is such fun! Can't I just date to have fun, and get out of my house?
Do any of you date just to get out and get to know new and different people and have fun? Or are you always dating with the idea that it will lead to a serious relationship, marriage, and the like? How long do you date someone before deciding if it's "going somewhere" as in leading to a more serious relationship, and you introducing them as your girlfriend/boyfriend to the family?
Then if you decide it's going nowhere, do you split up with them or keep going out because you see potential for a beautiful friendship?
Can you be going out on dates with more than one person at once? Or do you just date one person at a time?
At the mid-point of Summer, I'm curious what's going on out there with those Summer romances of yours. Are they in full-bloom, or like the aforementioned fireworks, burnt out?
Have a great holiday!
Posted by Joy Huber
Another part of dating it's important to sense the right time for is when it's time to call it quits! Remember Ross & Rachel in "Friends?" Think about when they were 'on a BREAK!' :)
Some people hang on to someone they're dating or even in a serious relationship with, merely because they think they need to be 'with someone.' They are scared to be single and solo vs. part of a couple. I'm here to tell you life as "me," vs. "us" can be extremely satisfying & fulfilling! You definitely can learn and figure out a lot about yourself!
My philosophy is "Life's too short to be with the wrong person." I personally would much rather be on my own getting to do my own thing than passing time with someone when I've determined it's not going to work out. I feel like I'm wasting time hanging out with their friends and going along with activities they want to do when I could be in complete control of how I'm spending my time and doing what I enjoy for leisure! Something to think about in your current dating & relationship situation!
Have a Great Week!
Posted by Joy Huber
Consider the importance of timing in so many things as they relate to dating.
When, for instance, is a good time to have the talk with someone about where you stand in your relationship? When is a good time to ask them how they feel about you? Not right when you show up at their door, and not right when you're getting ready to go to sleep! You have to select the right "time" for a deeper conversation about that, feelings and relationship direction!
When is a good time to break-up with someone? We've all struggled with this one right? You can't break up with them around their birthday, Valentine's Day or the holidays correct? What do you think?
The timing is wrong to complain to your significant other about never going out or them taking you out if they are talking about money being tight, all their bills, etc.
Do you have a bad, interesting, unusual or funny experience with "timing" in dating and relationships? I'd love to hear about it; e-mail me at dating@suite101.com! Have a great week!
Posted by Joy Huber
Unless you live "down under," in another hemisphere, Summer is in full bloom in most of your worlds.
To me Summer has always symbolized a couple things, primarily warmth (I grew up in Kansas where it's scorching hot!) and fun! I whole-heartedly welcome the Memorial Day holiday and the start of the Summer season. What does your Summer have in store? What do you know is happening this Summer and then what are you hoping to happen?
Are you hoping for your Summer heat to include a hot new flame burning brightly on your dating scene? Are you hoping for Summer to infuse your long-term dating romance with new warmth that has been missing for awhile?
E-mail me at dating@suite101.com (Pls. put Summer 2006 in your subject line.) and tell me your Summer plans, including your dating plans and wishes! I look forward to hearing from you, and will be looking for the most interesting "story." Are you dating a few people right now and looking for the Summer fun to help you decide which one you want to pursue a more serious relationship with? Are you going away on a Summer vacation and looking forward to a new romance in a new part of the country?
Have Fun in the Summer Sun!
Posted by Joy Huber
With the big two-hour finale of the popular ABC show on tonight, I think about what we can learn about dating and relationships from this show!
This show touches on so many dating facets, including: dating after divorce (think Susan), dating an ex again (again think Susan . . . & Karl), keeping the excitement in a marriage or mature relationship (think Lynette), infidelity (Gabrielle!) and dating someone much much younger, and finally look at Bree and her children! Her son is in a homosexual relationship and her daughter an interracial relationship. Then look at their Mom! Her husband (Rex) cheated on her, they were in relationship counseling, and then he died. In the past season she has been engaged again (crazy George!), her fiance passes, and she has also dated someone in Alcoholics Anonymous, and Sex Addicts Anonymous.
As I said, this show indeed covers it all!
There is so much we can learn from Desperate Housewives, aside from its comical value. E-mail me with some of your favorite show moments, and episodes, and tell me what you've learned to apply in your dating life from this show. Much more on this to come!
Posted by Joy Huber
I see as of this writing that the majority of you (4 votes at this time) find dates in what you describe as the "unconventional" way. I would love to know more - write me! Is this online or in what way? What sites are you using or have you tried and how do you like them?
Unconventional is followed very closely, three votes, for meeting those they date at the bar or lounge. There for awhile, especially in the 2000-2002 era, this was definitely how I met most of my dates. I was what you would consider a "regular" at a place; it was my locale for Thursday night fun!
A couple of you report being fixed up by others close to you, including family. I bet there are some interesting stories there of possible fix-ups by Grandma or Aunt Betsy!
Finally, one of you voted that you meet those you date at work, and I'd also love to hear how this is working out for you. Any office romance issues out there in your present or past?
The point of this blog is to re-iterate I want to hear from you and get to know my reading audience better. One way I have implemented for us to begin communicating is the debut of my advice column. Send me your stories and situations, or even tell about what a friend is going through and get my opinion or advice on those situations. You know, they're always asking you, "What do you think?" or "What should I do?" and now you have a forum to get some free input to help in formulating your response.
Write me at dating@suite101.com. I look forward to talking to you soon!! Have a great week!
Posted by Joy Huber
Hello readers! Within the past couple weeks I received the most interesting e-mail from a gentleman who had some very interesting experiences to share in dating! He wrote in response to my "Ok to date, not marry!" article. The thing is, he didn't really ask for advice or have questions. He just wanted to share his experiences and some insightful perspective on my thoughts raised in this article. It got me to really thinking, "Maybe I could really help some readers with their unique dating situations." Therefore, I'm thrilled to announce the debut of a "Dear Joy" via my e-mail, dating@suite101.com.
E-mail me with your dating situations and questions and I'll be answering your questions in some of my upcoming articles as well as writing on additional topics. This will start the week of May 15th so next Monday! Couple things though . . first and foremost, make sure you put "Dear Joy" in your subject line so I can separate those seeking answers from those e-mailing with thoughts and secondly, let me know if you'd like me to keep you anonymous in my article. Happy to protect the innocent (guilty), but let me know!
If you have questions on this, feel free to e-mail me too and ask. I look forward to hearing from you soon!
Remember the adage "Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger than a friend?" I thought it may be easier to get an outside opinion from someone who doesn't know you as well as your friends & family.
Another perspective to your dating dilemnas is now only an e-mail away . . . . dating@suite101.com.
Have a Great week!
Posted by Joy Huber
Lately I've been pondering the meaning of dating! Look for my next article to attempt to better define what dating is and means. I eagerly await your thoughts on this too, and feedback on my input.
Be sure you check out my recent article on dating outside of your pre-determined type. Numerous possibilities exist out there, and you should be open to meeting new people and learning new things. Again, as I've figured out, what you think you want and what you actually need in a date/long-term companion or even life mate/partner can be very different things. If you've taken a chance and went out with someone who was outside of your 'type,' e-mail me and let me know your stories of success or disastrous experiences! Have a wonderful week!
Posted by Joy Huber
In my latest poll though I see the current winner of the vote is the single & looking category (I wish anyone who votes in the in a relationship and wanting out would write me specifically so I can help with that!) so look for my next article to focus on just that - how to get started! If you're of the looking population, we'll talk about where to look. Coming later this month; have a great week!!
Posted by Joy Huber
My focus is leaving no stone unturned here as we explore the broad topic of dating. Where are you right now in your 'dating life?' On a hiatus, venturing out on first dates, or are you the experienced dater now in a serious relationship looking for ways to keep the romance alive and the spark burning not fizzling?
Dating can do all of this and more for you! A more recent article talks about a trend in the dating revolution, speed dating where you essentially have the opp. to go on many mini dates through the course of the evening. My current article speaks to conquering those first date jitters, and the anxiety that we have all been affected by right before a date. Look for my next article to focus on utilizing dating to keep the spark alive in a long-term, more serious relationship, marriage, etc.
Let me know your dating questions, and what you want to see covered. Your question could be my next article!
Have a Great Week!
Posted by Joy Huber
Hello Again Readers! In my last note, I talked of the fresh starts & new beginnings that come with the dawning of Spring. At this posting time I guess I have been more reflective on things. Check out my newest article, which insightfully compares the strikingly different topics of Dating against looking for a new job. You'll be amazed at how similar these two really are when you finish reading, and I know how we behave so alike in both situations will give you a laugh!
I've been monitoring the results of my first poll on the page closely, and am personally pleased to see that "After We've Talked About It" is pulling in to the lead for making a date into a boyfriend/girlfriend/couple situation! Communication is so key; it's critical actually in those early stages to make sure 'you're thinking what he's thinking!' Keep those votes coming, and be sure and share the site address with your friends so they can cast their vote. I'm also very interested in your feedback, so let me know what you think of what you read, and I am now taking suggestions on topics you would like to see covered and addressed in future articles.
I am grateful to see that sharing a kiss alone does not constitute in anyone's book "coupling." If you vote for that one, write me, and tell me why you feel that way. If I were "dating," or in a coupled relationship with everyone I've kissed automatically, oh my! Have a Wonderful Week!
Posted by Joy Huber
Ah, the first weekend of March. Temperatures are warming up and staying there, which is much better than Winter in the Midwest. I am excited about the fresh beginnings, new starts, and just perceived chance to start anew that comes with this season. Flowers that have hibernated through the cold Winter pop up and bloom providing our senses with rich sights and smells. People as a whole are in a better mood I believe with the stress that accompanies the holidays behind them, the Christmas bills becoming manageable, and a Spring/Summer vacation on the horizon. One reflects on changes that come through time, which is exactly what I've been doing. Check out my articles from the past week, in particular I have written one article on how dating changes as we grow older and realize what really matters in a partner, and one article on how we should learn through time but sometimes don't and make similar 'mistakes' in dating someone very much like a previous partner who it also did not work with! If you have been watching lots of primetime TV this Winter, you will find my article on the lessons we learn to apply in our relationships from the hit TV show "The Bachelor" interesting.