AAADD

Posted by Thomas Alan Gray May 20, 2009

A significant proportion of Americans – and people worldwide – suffer from AAADD (or A.A.A.D.D.).

Please review the signs and symptoms below to determine if you have this disorder.

Even though you may have it, you'll feel better knowing that you are not alone in your suffering.

Signs and Symptoms of AAADD

You decide to water the garden. As you turn on the hose in the driveway, you look over at the garage and decide the car needs washing. You put down the hose for a moment and go to move the car onto the driveway.

As you start toward the garage, you notice the mail on the porch table that you brought in from the mail box earlier. You decide to go through the mail before washing the car.

You lay your car keys on the table, but as you go to put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, you notice that the can is full. So, you decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then you think, "I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage, so I may as well pay the bills first." You take the check book off the table, and notice that there is only one check left.

The extra checks are in the desk in the study, so you go inside the house to the desk where you find the cup of coffee you'd been drinking. The coffee is getting cold, and you decide to nuke it in the microwave.

As you head toward the kitchen with the coffee, a vase of flowers on the counter catches your eye--they need water.

You put the coffee on the counter and discover the reading glasses that you've been searching for all morning. You decide you'd better put them back on the desk, right after you water the flowers.

You set the glasses back down on the counter, go to the sink and fill a container with water. As you turn back to the flowers, you spot the TV remote on the kitchen table.

You realize that tonight when you go to watch TV you'll be looking for the remote, but you won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so you decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first you'll water the flowers.

As you walk to the vase, you spill water on the floor. So, you put the water down by the vase, go back to the sink, get some paper towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, you head down the hall trying to remember what you were planning to do. Oh, right, put the paper towels in the garbage under the porch table....

Consequences of AAADD

At the end of the day:

• The garden wasn't watered
• The car wasn't washed, but the driveway and street were
• The bills weren't paid
• There is a cup of cold coffee sitting on the counter
• The flowers are wilted (with a pitcher of water sitting by the vase)
• There is still only one check in the check book
• You can't find the remote
• You can't find your reading glasses
• You can't find the car keys

You're baffled. You were busy all day, and you're really tired, but it seems that absolutely nothing got done, and you can't understand why..

Coping With AAADD

You realize this is a serious problem, and you resolve to get some help for it, right after you check your e-mail and read today's top articles on Suite101, which you'll do as soon as you find your glasses. And turn off the hose.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, the day is coming when you too may have AAADD:

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.