Manners and Children

Posted by Connie Newbauer Dec 11, 2006

Much to my dismay, manners are becoming obsolete. My younger children sometimes looked at manners as a product of a by-gone era of phoniness and social deceit. Unfortunately, this is the same train of thought, which leads parents not to teach manners. Many see manners as unimportant in today’s society, interfering with our right to free speech and to be “who we are.” That’s rubbish.

Manners teach children not to sit on public tables, or to talk so loudly they interrupt someone else’s dinner. Manners demonstrate to the world a civilized, educated, refined personality – who, by the way, can also speak their mind and truly be free to be who they are.

Have you been to any holiday parties lately? Did you by any chance run into anyone who was obnoxiously loud; dominating every conversation he was in, cutting people off in mid-thought and ruthlessly boring his captives with endless antidotes about himself? Manners. His mother never taught him manners.

If a child is not taught simple manners from the day they begin socializing, in extreme circumstances, they could become social outcasts by second grade. I’ve taught in classes where the other students naturally shy away from friendships with those not versed in the simple rudiments of social behavior.

As parents, not one of us would ever want to see that kind of treatment for our children. The remedy is simple. Manners can very clearly make the difference later in life from forming lasting friendships and marriages to getting the promotion or job desired.

Where to start? Try having dinner as family, napkins in lap, discussing the day’s events over dinner. It is a wonderful time to teach table manners! Upcoming family holiday gatherings are great for teaching essential manners!