A Blessingway

Posted by Connie Newbauer Jan 4, 2007

The holidays were a mad rush, but our family took the time to host a Blessingway for our middle daughter and her first child on December 30th. A Blessingway is the Navajo tradition of blessing a mother and child. It shifts the emphasis from gifts and shower games to a more spiritual calling together of God and “tribe” females, past and present, in a ceremonial manner.

During the Blessingway, the females of our family imparted words of wisdom regarding parenting and bringing a new baby home. How did the mothers of yesteryear learn what we passed on? Was it perhaps the mystical instruction book parents receive in the delivery room, via stork delivery, or UPS upon bringing the baby home?

Not likely! It was from experience intermingled with the wisdom imparted through our mothers’, and our mother’s mother, and her mother before that.

Before the internet, before self help books, before regular newspapers with parenting columns, our families were the only expert opinions we could call on to raise children; in this way, our cultural traditions, verbal histories and innate urge to nurture are brought to full fruition.

What then, if we have a weak link in the family chain? Although I’d like to pretend that each female initiated into the passage of motherhood is able to tap into this wealth of family instincts to nurture, the sad truth is, sometimes it just isn’t so.

If your parenting models have not been the best, all is not lost. Of course, there is always Dr. Phil, Dr. Brazelton and a host of other professionals – many in your locality – to assist you. But while seeking advice, don’t discount the wisdom of the other mothers around you. If you’re breastfeeding, find the number to your local LaLeche League; a toddler will have fun with you at Mommy and Me meetings. Tweens can benefit from a family membership at the YMCA, and both, Tweens teens and their parents have support systems through Boys and Girls Clubs, school counselors and Parent-Teacher groups.

Instruction book, what instruction book! We’ve got something more powerful working for us – each other!

If this column is one of the branches on your tree of support, I welcome you and hope we can find the answers to parenting in today’s world together!