Diane Laney Fitzpatrick's Blog

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Years ago, a friend and I were discussing a woman we knew who wanted to stay home with her children but was afraid the family couldn't make ends meet without the salary she brought in from her job.

"Well, she can always stuff envelopes," my friend said.

Not really. It's always been a misconception that there are companies out there just dying to pay unskilled, inexperienced people to do menial office work for big money. It didn't make sense back then to think that a company would be willing to pay thousands of dollars to have mail put into envelopes - something a minimum wage office worker or an unpaid intern could do - and it doesn't make sense now that a company would be willing to pay big bucks to have data entered into a computer, emails sent out, or typing done.

Most work-at-home job opportunities are work-at-home job scams.

ScamBusters.org lists 10 common work-at-home scams to watch our for:

• Craft assembly - You buy the materials and then are left to try to sell them on your own.
• Medical billing - You purchase a kit that supposedly helps set up a medical billing business in your home. No work is assigned to you.
• E-mail processing - This is spamming. The only email you process is the same ad you answered.
• A list of companies looking for home workers - The list you pay for is bogus.
• 900 Numbers - This is a toll call. You pay big for the call and get nothing in return.
• Typing at home - After sending the fee to the scammer for "more information," you receive a disk and print materials that tell you how to place home typist ads and sell copies of the disk.
• "Turn Your Computer into a Money-Making Machine!" - Once you pay, you are sent instructions on how to place ads and pull in suckers to "turn their computers into money-making machines."
• Multi-level marketing - to make any money, you have to recruit others.
• Chain letters and emails - sending a little bit of money to a person at the top of the list and mailing out pleas to a list of friends is a pyramid scheme and is always illegal.
• Envelope stuffing - When you send your money, you get a manual with flyer templates you're supposed to put up around town, advertising yet another harebrained work-from-home scheme.

First and foremost, before you fall for a work-at-home offer, think about the claims the ad is making. Does it make sense that a company would focus its ad on how much money you can make, instead of the job that it's advertising?

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

It's hard to believe this, but it's only August and my kids have already had a snow day.

Well, not really a snow day, but it may as well have been one. Here is South Florida, we don't get too many snow days, but we do get hurricane days or, in the case of last week, tropical storm days.

I couldn't believe it. They had their first day of school and then missed their second day because tropical storm Fay came whipping around the bend from Cuba and cancelled our schools.

When my kids were little and we lived up north, they would pray for school to be cancelled.

"Put your pajamas on backwards and put a spoon under your pillow," my son would tell everyone in the family. One particularly bad winter I lost an entire placesetting of silverware.

I must admit, I never minded unexpected days off school. I got a kick out of listening to the news, hearing our school district listed in the cancellations, running up to their rooms and giving them the news, groping around for my spoons under their pillows, and letting them fall back asleep. We'd spend the day sledding or building snowmen, playing in the snow or getting into some big craft project.

Already looking forward to your first snow day? Start planning some fun things to do when you get an unexpected vacation day.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Even dream jobs have their downsides.

If you've dreamed about working at home, doing conference calls in your pajamas (not video conference calls, of course), getting the laundry done in between work projects, being home to let in repairmen, not paying a babysitter, and not having to take a day off work for a sick child, those dreams do come true when you work from home.

But there's the occasional nightmare of having your one-and-only copy of the annual report scribbled on with crayon, a screaming infant in the middle of a client's phone call, and entire days when you feel like you're getting nothing done.

Being a work-at-home parent requires a separation of kids and work. Otherwise you'll constantly feel like you're being pulled in whatever direction you're not currently in.

Thousands of parents of young children work from home successfully. They're able to have the best of both worlds, but only with planning, a schedule, and lots and lots of discipline.

My article Separating Kids and Work at Home has some tips for being the master juggler - being a good employee and a good parent.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

If you're a stay-at-home parent, you're probably like me: constantly on the look-out for ways to cut costs, get a bargain, and get more for less money.

Few things pinch your wallet as hard as getting ready for that first day of school. Even before the list of school supplies comes home, you'll have a long list of things your child needs, wants or simply must have this year.

To put you in the mood for standing your ground and keeping a tight rein on your finances, Suite 101's Family Finances page has articles to help you find bargains on school uniforms, backpacks and back-to-school clothes.

It's not a bad idea to stock up on staples like notebook paper, folders, gluesticks and, well, staples, while you're getting set for a new school year, especially if you can find them at a bargain.

My kids start school on Monday. I'm heading out this afternoon to buy some last minute supplies and steeling myself for the lists that will come home on the first day of school.

Good luck with your own back-to-school shopping!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Changing diapers, pushing the merry-go-round, and mixing up mac and cheese are not exactly career builders.

But that doesn't mean that while you're at home with your children being a full-time stay-at-home parent that you're a complete drain on your future resume.

When it's time to go back to work you'll have to sit down and write your resume. It may be something you've been dreading, but never fear. It won't be as grim as you think.

Employers will understand your need or desire to take time off work to stay at home with your children. Be honest in your résumé, and list those years as being a full-time parent, homemaker or volunteer.

Staying home to raise children is a common choice today and when it's time to go back to work, you'll be in good company.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Some interesting facts about stay-at-home dads have come out in Suite 101 articles this past month.

In The Facts Surrounding Stay-at-Home Dads, Suite 101 writer Stephen Richardson writes that there are more than 200,000 stay-at-home dads in the United Kingdom. At the same time, the number of stay-at-home moms is decreasing, with more women returning to work after giving birth, according to the article's statistics.

Suite 101 writer Anju Mootilal cites statistics about stay-at-home dads in her article Stay-at-Home Dads.

• There are over 160,000 stay-at-home-dads (SAHDs) in the United States.
• The main reason why men choose to stay at home was to avoid sending their children to daycare.
• The number one compliant of many stay-at-home dads is dealing with sudden isolation.

Stay-at-home dads have all the same issues as stay-at-home moms, but they don't have a large same-sex support group to help them. In a non-traditional role, SAHDs have all that to deal with, too.

I've known many stay-at-home dads, shared playgroups, served on PTA committees with them, and swapped recipes. There's nothing innately female about this job of being a full-time caregiver to your own children. It's not so much maternal as it is parental.

If the current trend continues, being a stay-at-home dad will no longer be a non-traditional role and will be just another choice men get to make when children come along.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

It's that time of year: When you look at the calendar and realize you have a back-to-school night coming up, your child's dance teacher wants to know what fall class you want, and your beach towels are looking a little worn out.

School will be starting soon and if you're like me, you're starting to feel the panic that you didn't fit in everything you wanted to do this summer.

I'm going to try to sneak in two little trips before my kids' cross country and band activities kick in the week before the first day of school. One is a plane trip back home for a family reunion and another is a long car trip to visit friends. I'm hoping that the whirlwind of one last surge of vacation will help prepare me for what's to come: a calendar full of parent meetings, school projects, music lessons, sports schedules and all that autumn brings with it.

A last summer vacation gives us a chance to delve back into our summer skills, the biggest one being handling kids on a trip. Traveling with children can be fun and adventurous, but at the same time stressful and exhausting.

A late-July/early August vacation might not only give us a much needed last summer fling, but may also leave us looking forward to a more structured school year.

Bon voyage!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

When we had one child and approximately 2,000 toys, we had several large toy boxes throughout the house. My philosophy was "the bigger the better." Each one held a huge number of toys, one was an old cardboard moving box that was bulging on the sides. Heaven help you if you wanted Batman's left boot, which was buried deep in the rubble.

When we had two children and approximately 6,000 toys, I had the idea that we should separate them into categories. One toy box had the super heroes, another had the cars, another had building blocks and such, and the big cardboard box was retired and replaced with a big plastic box.

When we had three children and approximately an infinite number of toys, my passion for organization kicked into high gear and I bought some storage units and started filling the bins and baskets with toys. Not quite obsessing into alphabetical order, I did however get some enjoyment out of separating dolls and doll clothes, Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, and cars, trains and anything with wheels.

I'm not saying the toys all stayed organized or even that they all got put away at the end of every day, but my toy storage solution was a saving grace to me as a stay-at-home mom who lived, ate, slept and worked inside the house.

You don't have to be an organization freak like me to get excited about organizing your kids' toys. Take a trip to Target or your favorite store and take a look at what's out there now. Online stores like Clutter Free Kids can give you some great ideas.

Now get those toys picked up!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

I learned so much researching The Argument for Music Education. I've known for a long time that music is good for children for lots of reasons, from birth (or even pre-birth, some believe) through college. But what I didn't know is the correlation between music lessons and higher SAT scores, better math grades and better academic success overall.

In my opinion, the best school districts are those that put a high value on arts education. My own children, in the Fayette County schools in Lexington, Kentucky, were required to take humanities courses starting in middle school. My son was required to attend some type of arts performance or event monthly during his junior year, and their middle school and high school had orchestras, bands and choruses that were top notch.

After reading up on the benefits of music education, it made me glad we offered our children lessons in guitar, piano, clarinet and bassoon, even though there were times when nagging them to practice became something I dreaded.

Now that my children are older, I'm glad we stuck it out and kept the music playing - on one instrument or another - in our house all those years.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

I moved this week and as anyone of you who have ever relocated to a different state or region, you know things are pretty crazy around my house right now.

I've done this before, seven times, so I have lots of advice on moving. This time around I did my best to follow my own advice, but by Day 2 in the new house, I once again found myself surrounded by boxes full of completely unrelated things, near tears, the kids complaining that they were starving, and my husband griping that I didn't get rid of enough junk before we moved.

Moving with kids is a particularly difficult task, because you can't just hole up in the house and organize your kitchen cupboards and put things away. At some point and at regular intervals, you'lre going to have to take the family exploring in your new neighborhood, find something fun to do, and cook an occasional meal.

As the mom in a move, it's not only your job to reinvent a new household, but you're also in charge of attitudes - keeping your own positive and convincing your kids that this is a good place, an adventure and a new start.

I'm still only on Day 5, but I'm not doing too badly. I found two nearby Starbucks for my daughter and tonight we'll go to the beach to watch fireworks. The boxes will have to wait.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

My kids were at a Florida beach for spring break this year and my 17-year-old son and I were walking along the beach when we saw what looked like a blue water balloon.

"Is it alive?" he wondered aloud.

"Of course not, it's a water balloon," I said, convinced that its bright, vibrant, blue color was not something found in nature.

Well, as you can imagine, it wasn't a water balloon. And it was alive. It was a man-o-war, which can be dangerous to clueless midwesterners who poke and prod what they think is a piece of litter.

My son and I and are a perfect example of how hazardous an occasional vacation day at the beach can be. Unfamiliar with sea life and its dangers, water conditions, the power of the sun's rays and other beach hazards, anyone who spends 50 weeks of the year on land and splurges for a vacation or two at the beach is a disaster waiting to happen - or at least a day of discomfort from a bad sunburn and a jellyfish sting.

Beach Safety for Kids outlines some beach dangers to be aware of, particularly the sun and its ability to cause sunburn more easily and quickly at the shore. Don't let it get you down. Just pack up that sunscreen and first aid kit, stay near the lifeguards and enjoy your vacation!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

The sunscreen industry has been front and center in the news recently.

The new FDA rules on sunscreen, enacted last summer, won't take effect for another year, but the public has been made more aware of the importance of UVA protection on the bottle of sunscreen they buy.

Earlier this month, the devastating impact of failing to use sunscreen was spotlighted by a case in Kentucky. A father was arrested and jailed for letting his 2-year-old son go outside without sunscreen. The toddler had second-degree burns from the sun, including golf-ball-sized blisters on his skin, after being outside for just 90 minutes.

Internet chat rooms and blogs are abuzz with parents saying, "It's about time!" and others asking how a father can be charged with first-degree criminal abuse when seriously abused kids are routinely sent back to their parents.

Regardless of how this case turns out for the Kentucky family, it has implications for parents everywhere. I've always considered sunscreen one of my "Mom's Things to Do." Buying it, remembering to pack it, putting it on the kids, nagging the kids to put more on, and knowing the differences in brands, SPF numbers and types. Now I feel that if I don't do all these things, there could be criminal implications.

This summer, make sunscreen your constant companion. WebMD recommends these sunscreen guidelines:

• Apply sunscreen 30 minutes before going outdoors, to allow it to be absorbed into the skin.
• Shake well before using and use about an ounce (a handful) to cover your entire body.
• Use on all parts of your skin exposed to the sun, including the ears, back, shoulders, the part in your hair where the scalp is exposed, and under the edge of clothing, where shifting might expose more skin.
• Reapply sunscreen often throughout the day, especially after getting wet or sweaty.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

The PTA wants to hear what you have to say.

Quite a step up from the PTA meeting where you have cookies and coffee in the school gym, the National PTA will host a live webcast for parents and families, addressing "everyday issues to enhance children's health, safety and educational success."

The webcast will take place at 2 p.m. EST June 17. You can participate by logging on to http://www.visualwebcaster.com/event.asp?id=48895.

The webcast will feature PTA National President Jan Harp Domene and an unnamed guest. Participants will have the opportunity to ask questions via email and have them answered during the live webcast. From quick parenting tips to ideas on parent involvement, the live webcast is being touted as a "one-stop shop for parents and families looking for answers on these topics and more." The webcast offers parents who can’t attend the annual PTA national convention June 20-23 an opportunity to have their questions answered.

If you've ever wanted your voice heard on a national level, here's the time, place and technology available to do it.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Unless you've been living in a cave for the past 16 months, you're aware that we're at the peak of political fever here in the U.S. This past week the party primary elections ended and the general election campaigning for U.S. president has begun.

Your kids are never too young to be exposed to elections and how government works. OK, maybe your toddler won't want to sit and watch CNN with you, but not too far beyond that, children can start learning the ABCs of our political election process.

How can you help expose your kids to the world of politics and government?

• Talk about politics at the dinner table. Ask your kids what's one thing they would change if they were president, or if they could have dinner with one president from history, would would it be? Politics is a rousing dinner table conversation.
• Watch the news with them. They may not understand most of it, but pick up on something that has a spark of interest and explain it to them in simple terms. Don't be afraid to say you don't understand something. Look it up together.
• Take them to vote with you. It's fun, it's cool, it's secret and it's a good chance to explain to your kids that our right to vote is a privilege that many people around the world don't have.
• Encourage your children to develop their own opinions about issues and candidates. Tell them they're not being disobedient by not agreeing with your views. Help them to form their own opinions and back them up with supporting facts.

The Professor's House has more suggestions on how to teach kids about politics. If you start early, by the time they're old enough to vote, they'll be well informed and ready to participate in the process.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

When I was growing up, my friends and I regularly heard our parents say, "Go outside and play!" - sometimes not in an altogether friendly, encouraging way. When we'd complain that we didn't have anything to do outside, the moms sometimes said, "Go watch the cars go by." It took me years to appreciate the sense of humor of a 1960s housewife.

But we did go outside. We built things out of sticks, played catch with the crabapples from the schoolyard trees, played kickball, built forts and rolled down hills. When all else failed we watched the cars go by.

We didn't know it at the time, but we may have been the last generation to spend more leisure time outdoors than inside. We had TV, but without cable or satellite it wasn't compelling enough to keep us inside for long. And of course, we had no computers, VCRs, DVD players or video games.

Richard Louv's book Last Child in the Woods warns that we're raising a generation of children who are spending less and less time with nature and fewer hours in free, unstructured play. The result is a serious disconnect between people and the earth, Louv says.

Sometimes it's as simple as opening the back door and taking your children outside for a few hours every day, in spite of the weather or time constraints. Take a walk with your kids, play catch, collect rocks, blow bubbles, draw with sidewalk chalk. Or better yet just let them play whatever they want. Just being outside will help them reconnect with the outdoors.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

What do you think of when you hear the words "summer reading?"

I'll tell you what I think: High school, summer of 1976; it's a week before the first day of school and I'm looking at The Greek Way, The Grapes of Wrath and Romeo and Juliet sitting on my nightstand, still shiny and uncracked (I think Grapes of Wrath was still in the bag from the book store) and wondering where the summer went.

And here's the thing: I loved to read. I read probably eight books that summer, including Gone With the Wind, but three of the best pieces of literature sat untouched until I was faced with an Incomplete in English.

I did get them all read. I'm proud to say I went all through high school and college without ever using Cliffs Notes.

But what is it about summer reading that puts fear and dread in our hearts and yawns on our faces?

While writing The Joy of Summer Reading this week, I started to imagine a student's ideal summer. One in which the required summer reading books were all read over the span of June through August and completed well before the first day of school. And a summer in which many evenings were spent curled up on the couch with a good book and many sunny days were spent lounging in the back yard with an even better book.

Summer is a good time to set some reading goals with your children. The school year is too busy to get caught up on the Harry Potter series or start in on the Magic Treehouse books. But the summer, with its long days and relaxed schedule, is just the right time.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Did you have a good Mother's Day? Did you awake to the sound of orange juice being sloshed out of the Dora Explorer mug onto your new white bedspread? Did you walk into the kitchen to the smell of bacon being fused onto your Mauviel skillet? Is your family sized roll of scotch tape all used up on wrapping a paperback book?

Mother's Day: The one day you really would rather do it yourself, but the one day you bite your tongue and let your husband and children cook for you, wait on you and shower you with gifts - in essence, pretend that they're the mom.

It's hard to reverse roles, isn't it? They seem to be perfectly comfortable having you do all the work 364 days of the year, but when it's your turn to be Queen for a Day, it's difficult for Mom to become the servee.

I had a good Mother's Day. My son at college called to wish me a Happy Mother's Day, my middle son made my a hilarious card, and my daughter cleaned off the top of her dresser. (Joy of joys! Shock of shocks!) My husband bought me a new iPod.

I didn't get breakfast in bed, but that's OK. Really, it's OK. And we had some company so I made dinner myself that night. But at the end of the day, my husband and kids helped clear the table, wash dishes and clean up the kitchen, while I sat with my feet up, playing with my new toy.

Another Mother's Day come and gone, and now we're back to normal, where Mom's in charge.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

I don't know a parent who doesn't feel happy and sad at the same time to see another school year end.

Doesn't it seem like just yesterday that you were buying the big box of crayons, the "good" calculator and 27,000 folders to start out the year? The last day of school brings with it a slew of emotions - maybe a little bit of sadness to see the end of a lean, mean routine you've perfected; a little bit of happiness that you don't have to keep up that routine anymore; and amazement that your children are another year older, another grade finished.

The last day of school was always my favorite holiday. Years ago, I started throwing a last-day-of-school party and it became something of a neighborhood tradition. It was super casual, simple and put together at the last minute. The idea was to have a venue for parents, kids and their teachers to kick back and say "Yahoo!" together.

The kids would all play outside, burning off nine months worth of pent-up energy, while the adults sat and relaxed, talking about summer plans. One year it poured down rain, but that didn't stop the kids. They ran around in the downpour, playing slip-and-slide down a muddy hill and were as filthy as children can get. It somehow seemed a fitting activity for a last-day-of-school party.

Before you start planning the perfect summer for your children, treat them and yourself to an end-of-school bash. And then let the summer begin!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Things are crazy in May.

As it gets closer to the end of the school year, my list of things to do is growing to ridiculous proportions. There are the kids' end-of-year school projects and finals, both of which I feel compelled to help with. Spring sports are in high gear, and every club, group and team is having an end-of-year banquet. And before you know it, we'll be scrambling around for teacher gifts to send in on the last day.

I've decided this year to pick up a few gift cards for teachers to have on hand. I can quickly write a name on them, wrap a ribbon around them and send them to worthy recipients as I think of it - most likely at the last minute.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the craziness of May, remember, in another month you'll be celebrating the last day of school, packing your last lunch, quizzing your child on his last spelling quiz and checking your last backpack for the year.

Suite 101's Stay-at-Home Parents page has lots of ideas for you for summer. When you can stop to catch your breath, check out our take on summer camp, how to have the best summer, Car Trips With Kids, ideas for outdoor games, and how to have a summer camp at home.

But first, let's get through May!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Spring must be here. How do I know? The marching band plant sale is this week, my kids are starting to study for finals, and - oh, yes - every wastebasket in my house is full of scrunched up, used tissues.

I feel so sorry for kids with spring allergies. Spring is supposed to be full of anticipation of the end of school, the excitement of bringing the shorts and flip-flops to the forefront of the closet, and riding around with the car windows open.

Instead, we've closed up our house like Fort Knox and stocked up on Tylenol, eye drops, Benedryl and Allegra. I can't help but feel a little bit guilty when I get excited about seeing the trees budding and our neighbors mowing their lawns. Those things mean something very different to my kids, who suffer from allergies.

Suite 101 writer Venice Kichura offers some helpful advice to spring allergy sufferers in her article "Coping With Spring Allergies." If your child suffers from seasonal allergies, be sure to have his medication refilled and check expirations on inhalers and medicine, even over-the-counter products.

Be particularly sensitive to your school-age children and their performance in school. At this time of year, with state standardized testing, end-of-year projects due, and the dreaded finals, allergies and the medicine kids take to keep them at bay, can affect their academic performance.

Experts suggest parents be sure their children drink plenty of water, eat healthily, get lots of rest, and stay indoors as much as possible, at least until the season settles down.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

A recurring discussion at the Fitzpatrick family dinner table throughout the years has been this:

"Why do we have to do homework? Why is there even such a thing as homework? We do work all day in school and then the few spare minutes we have at home to do whatever we want, we have to do more school work. It's not fair. Our teachers expect way too much of us. What do they think we are? Homework machines?"

There are times that I agree with them. We've had teachers that handed out entirely too much homework and seemed to be unaware that they not only had five or six other classes to work on, but had lives outside of school. There were years where I hesitated to give my kids too many chores to do, I felt they were overburdened enough with homework.

For the most part, I've tried to encouraged them to just do it. Rearrange your schedule, use your time wisely, be prepared, and stop complaining and just do the homework. Your grades will improve, you'll be better prepared for tests, and before you know it, the year will be over and you'll have another teacher who might go a little easier on you.

It helps when parents create the right kind of atmosphere for getting homework done. Set aside a nice, quiet place for your kids to do homework and keep yourself nearby - making dinner, reading or doing some homework of your own. Be there for when they need someone to proofread a paper, answer a question, or quiz them on vocab or spelling words.

Let them vent to you about their homework complaints, but after they get it out of their systems, help them get back to work.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

My kids aren't making their beds again.

We started out the school year on a high note: with me giving them a lecture/pep talk/inspirational speech about how awesome my life would be if they made their beds before they left for school.

For the first few weeks, they did wonderfully. They not only made their beds, but they picked up their clothes off the floor, hung up their towels, and put the cap on the toothpaste.

By early October, however, they started to let certain things go, until by January, I was back to making the beds and doing everything else. So I repeat my lecture/pep talk/inspirational speech and the dance continues.

The parents I admire most are the ones who have clear, consise rules about what chores their kids are responsible for and specific consequences when they fail to do them. These kinds of parents are the most together people on earth, in my opinion.

My friend Leslie has a rule that no one leaves the kitchen after dinner until the entire kitchen is cleaned up, the dish washer is loaded, the table cleared off, the food put away, and the counters wiped off. It seems everyone's in such a hurry to get the heck out of that crowded room, that her kitchen gets cleaned up super fast. She's in front of the TV knitting before she knows it.

Do you have a system for getting kids to do their chores that works for your family? Share it with us on the Stay-at-Home Parents' discussion board.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Baby bottles and white out. Pacifiers and paper clips. Blackberries and baby monitors. Annual reports and easy readers.

The work-at-home, stay-at-home parent is living in two worlds simultaneously. Juggling tasks for vastly different roles, the work-at-home parent is the queen of the multi-taskers.

It's easy to get overwhelmed. Trying to be professional while at the same time being a good parent is a constant crossroads - you're routinely asked to choose between spending time on work and spending time with your kids.

If you work from home, you've probably already come up with a system to keep all your irons in the fire and tended to. You probably already use your children's naps and quiet times to get as much work done as possible. And you most likely appreciate the value of staying on schedule and being the happy slave to a routine, so that when you lay your head down at the end of a long, stressful day, you can say you did it all and you did it well.

Childproofing your office is essential to keeping your children and your work safe. It takes time to put your work away instead of leaving it out, but it's worth it to know it's kept away from little hands.

As a work-at-home parent, don't let Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day pass you by. Plan some activities to help your children learn and appreciate what you do for a living. They may see you work every day, but still not know exactly what your job entails.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

The debate over whether preschool is necessary for children to be successful in school is interesting to me. There are parents who swear it’s a godsend for them and their kids. There are homeschool proponents who say keep ‘em home as long as you can.

I played the middle of the road with my own children. They went to preschool, but only for a year, and only three days a week for what seemed like a few minutes (not enough time to get any grocery shopping done).

I tried to enroll my second son in a trendy, prestigious preschool when he was almost 3 and I was told he was way too old to learn the signature teaching methods. “That ship has sailed,” I was told in so many words.

“Oh, great,” I told my husband. “How’s he ever going to get into Harvard if he can’t even get into the right preschool?”

I turned to my son, who was squishing a glue stick between his fingers. “It’s Burger King trainee for you.”

We continued along the path we had been on, which was me being the teacher and the kids taking nature hikes, rolling down hills, making scented homemade play-dough, putting on plays, and going to library story hours and playgroups.

I still can’t say that what we did was right for everyone. Every family has its own likes and dislikes, preferences and needs. Some children love and want to go to preschool and others prefer Mom’s lap.

So the debate over the necessity of preschool continues and the kids somehow all successfully make it through first grade . . . middle school . . . high school graduation . . .

And some even make it past Burger King trainee all the way to Harvard.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Don't tell my kids, but we're going to spend Sunday evening playing Apples to Apples, a new game I just picked up at Target. They'll moan and groan, but they'll put their behinds into a dining room chair after dinner and play the game with me. By the end of the night, they'll be not only glad I made them play, they'll want to do it again.

Last weekend I chaperoned a neighborhood teen group social and some kids were playing Apples to Apples and I absolutely fell in love with the game. It's easy, fun, silly, and the most addicting game since Pictionary.

Games are coming back in families. Tired of noisy electronics, more families are turning off the TV, getting back to basics, and opening a box or some cards and playing together.

We used to play more games together when my kids were younger. We still have well worn boxes repaired with masking tape and rubber-banded together of Monopoly, Facts In Five, Dominoes, Chutes and Ladders, Masterpiece, Battleship, Trivial Pursuit and other classics. And we have some fad games, too, like Jumanji, which I could never get, and Ask Zandar, complete with a talking wizard in a crystal ball.

Over the years, we've gotten away from board games. But that's all going to change on Sunday, when, after dinner dishes are done, I'm going to whip out Apples to Apples and say, "Who wants to play a game?" That will probably be followed by, "Oh, yes you do," "Get over here," "Hey! Unlock that door!" and "You'll play this game and like it, or you're grounded!"

Nah, they'll play. We'll have a great time and before you know it, they'll be putting new batteries in Zandar.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

I was out of town with my family this past week and we ate almost every meal in restaurants. Normally, we don't eat out a lot. I prefer home cooking, even if I have to cook it myself, and my husband and kids have gotten used to the way I make things. No one complains if we go weeks without fast food or restaurant fare.

So going to restaurant after restaurant was kind of a kick for me. I started to notice the babies and toddlers, the high chairs, booster seats, snap-on chairs and babes in arms. Things sure have changed since our first baby was born. I felt so self-conscious laying out all the equipment and acoutrements, digging out the bib, baby food, bottles . . . By the third child I was an expert, but the early days were tough.

In our last night away, my daughter and I purposefully sat down in the restaurant where we could get full view of the most adorable little girl. She spent an hour throwing down whatever was put in front of her, so her big brother would fetch it. It reminded me of my son, at about a year old, running his Matchbox car through his applesauce and then giving it the old heave-ho, right into the next booth, where a young couple was obviously on a date. Splat. (I think we may have prevented an early marriage or teen pregnancy that night.)

We all know that life doesn't stop when you have kids, so taking your children to restaurants is par for the course. If you don't have kids, get used to seeing them. They're everywhere. And if you have kids, by all means, take them with you to the restaurant. We'll be on the look-out for your cute babies!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Are you ready for Easter? Well, you better be, because it arrives early this year. If you celebrate Easter, you should at least have a rough idea of where the Easter baskets are, know if the kids can still fit into their dress shoes - you know, the ones they haven't worn since Christmas - and get vinegar on your shopping list - you know, for coloring eggs.

If Easter snuck up on you this year, never fear. Suite 101 writers have been working hard to come up with the best and brightest ideas for celebrating Easter.

Easter Activities for Children has some fun ideas, including making windsocks and Easter bonnets.

Creative Easter Egg Decorating will have you digging through your craft supplies to try some new things with Easter eggs this year.

Want to take a more natural approach? Check out Coloring Eggs With Natural Dyes.

There's still time to get the whole neighborhood involved in an Easter Egg Hunt, with fun, games and snacks. For more ideas, see Mary McCarthy's Creative Easter Egg Hunts.

Try making the carrot treat holder in Cute Easter Crafts for Kids.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

If you're at your child's school and there are ultraviolet lights beaming from the classroom, dry ice smoke filtering out from under doorways, and eggs being dropped off of rooftops, you can draw one conclusion: It's science fair season.

January through March is traditionally the time of year for science fairs. Some science teachers require that their students participate in a school-level science competition. Your child may not be at all interested in doing a science project, but it really is a great opportunity.

Science is such a broad subject, there's got to be at least one aspect of it that will interest your child. Animal life, plants and nature, health issues, gravity and physical science, astronomy, human behavior, energy, rocks and geology, chemistry, computers and engineering . . . the list goes on and on.

Help your child find a branch of science that interests him and you may just spark an interest that he'll carry with him through adulthood.

Don't be too helpful, however! A science experiment or display that's had too much parent input can be spotted a mile away by a sharp science teacher. You want your child to learn and experience this field, so let him do a science project on his own.

If you need some ideas for some quick and easy science experiments, check out Simple Science Experiments for some projects that you can do on the fly with little equipment.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

If it's February, then I've got to start thinking of spring cleaning.

It's possibly my least favorite of all the jobs I do as a stay-at-home mom, ranking right up there with helping my kids study for math tests, raking leaves and anything that involves getting up on a ladder.

But I do it every year. I try to get it done before spring hits, so I can enjoy Easter, getting out the spring clothes, opening the windows and seeing the crocuses come up, knowing that the biggest cleaning job of the year is all finished.

If you're a list person like me, you'll make a list of the rooms you have to clean and the jobs you have to do in each one. Then you'll have a mini-celebration when you get to cross a few things off your list.

If you haven't started already, it's not too late to get your spring cleaning done before spring break. Ask the kids to help you and your family reward will be a spring break that doesn't involve any scrubbing, washing or reorganizing.

If you have any tips for easy spring cleaning, let us know by starting a discussion here at Stay-at-Home Parents.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Remember when the words 'spring break' would bring a smile to your lips and a twinkle to your eye?

When the phrase brought to mind bikinis, Florida, beach volleyball, long days and late nights?

Yeah, well, welcome to parenthood. Those days are gone, mommy.

Now, when you hear spring break, you might instead think: kids sleeping in too late, whining about having nothing to do, playing too many video games, and watching too much TV. Of course, all of their friends - everyone on the planet, actually - are gone to European vacations, cruises and Disney World. Your kids are the only ones stuck home with mom, who is still grumpy about the demise of her college days and the fact that she can't wear a bikini anymore.

So what to do with kids on spring break?

First off, get them up at a reasonable time and stay on some type of schedule. You can make the week off school fun without making it totally slothful.

Secondly, do some of the fun things that you don't have time or space to fit into your regular school-year schedule. Find ideas for spring break activities in Spring Break Ideas for Kids.

Lastly, prepare yourself for the day your kids grow up, go to college and announce that they're going to Florida for spring break with 20 friends.

Now, is it so bad having little ones home for a week?

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

When your kids are little, it's hard to be the perfect parent. When your toddler colors on the bathroom walls you just paid $800 to have faux-painted, you know you should slap up some butcher paper, hand him Hot Magenta and tell him to keep going. But you're more likely to tear your hair out, rant, rave and otherwise stifle his creativity.

When my kids were little, I was so proud that I was raising creative kids. I let them play with Play-Doh all over the house. We brought sand in from the sandbox and made permanent sand castles. We made a homemade volcano and erupted it with vinegar and baking soda a kajillion times. We made paper mache and we painted Pinewood Derby cars.

But the day I found gobs and drips of bright green tempera paint on my new beige family room carpet, I threw a fit. My kids disappeared into their bedrooms, waiting for the storm to pass. Meanwhile I called the carpet stain hotline and was sobbing on the phone to the poor woman who answered.

I'll never forget what she said:

"Don't you dare say you won't ever let your kids paint in the house again! I'm going to tell you how to get that paint out of the carpet, and then you're going to forget this ever happened. Remember, your kids' art projects are more important than your carpet!"

She was so right! Who would have thought that a customer service rep for a carpet manufacturer could be so wise, so filled with perspective, so . . . Mom!

Our house didn't always look perfect, but my kids ended up to be pretty artistic. And we all have some fun memories from those early years. No one ever brings up my temper tantrum over the green paint!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

When I was growing up, it was a major deal to decorate a shoe box, but a slit in the lid and take it to school for a valentine mailbox. Some kids (especially the ones with the really crafty moms) would have masterpieces that looked like they could have been in the Rose Bowl Parade.

Passing out valentines was fun, and opening the ones you received was even more fun. Some kids would put a little conversation heart in the tiny envelope, which was a real treat.

Times change and I don't think my kids care much for Valentine's Day. It became just another reason to have juice boxes and a cookie and some visiting moms in the classroom. Writing all their classmates' names on the valentines and signing the backs was seen as a chore. And because elementary school life is always fair, getting a valentine from someone didn't mean as much - if you passed them out, you were required to give one to everyone in the class.

I'd love to see the fun put back in Valentine's Day. It's the only holiday in a long string of winter months, where the only high points are snow days and CAT testing.

This year, I'm going to talk my kids into doing some valentine crafts with me. I have some great ideas for making vintage valentines and I'd love to find a use for the old shoe boxes in my basement!

How are you spending Valentine's Day with your kids this year? Stop into the discussion forum and share some of your ideas.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

I really don't like self-help books. And I mean I really don't like them. It's not that I think I know everything already. It's just that when I read, I'd prefer to enjoy an old classic or a new biography.

Which is why my praise for The Mother's Almanac is so rare. The book was first published in 1975, and was still in print and going strong 11 years later when I had my first baby and got my copy. It was a gift from a friend, who wrote this in the inside cover: "Diane, From one mom to another. Enjoy your baby to the fullest. Kiss their tiny feet and little hands and hug them to no end, because they sure don't take long to grow up! I hope this book comes in handy."

It did. Authors Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons give advice on the big stuff ("It's your job . . . to teach your child to be accountable for his actions.") and the littlest things (how to roast pumpkin seeds and how to make cornstarch clay). While my kids were growing up, I referred to it often for advice and validation for what my maternal instincts were telling me to do.

Since then, Marguerite Kelly has written two more books on parenting and is working on a fourth.

For mothers of small children, The Mother's Almanac is still a great read, even 33 years after it was first published. Good parenting has no expiration date!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Some people may have been bothered by pollster Mark J. Penn's book Microtrends and its conclusion that permissive parents and their self-managing, in-control kids are shaping the face of America's future.

I'm not bothered at all. In fact, I'm encouraged. The decline of "spare the rod, spoil the child" thinking can only be good for the adults of tomorrow.

Microtends says the rise of pampering parents means babies are being picked up and soothed when they cry at night (as opposed to being left to "cry it out"), children are being talked to and reasoned with when they misbehave (as opposed to being hit or spanked), and teens are being allowed to make lifestyle choices on their own.

"The jury is out on whether we’ll get a more nonviolent society, or more people unwilling to listen to authority,” Penn says in the book.

People unwilling to listen to authority? Or people unwilling to let older, more authoritative figures intimidate them?

One of the differences I see among young people today is that the child of 2008 is more likely to stand up to a teacher who is treating him unfairly, be suspicious of an adult who is trying to con him, and generally have more confidence in his own opinions, and a better ability to make decisions at an earlier age.

Children of my generation may have been more willing to listen to authority, but we also had some measure of fear, awe and deference to all adults, whether or not they deserved it.

If more confident children are the product of being a more permissive parent, I don't think we have to worry too much about what the future holds.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

I love routines. I'll say that right up front, so you'll know I'm biased.

I like to keep lists and watch as the day progresses and I've been able to check off tasks and accomplishments, however minor.

On the other hand, I'm not afraid to go off schedule and be spontaneous. I like to know, however, just where I am in relation to my routine. How far have I gone astray! What am I going to have to do tomorrow to make up for throwing the routine out the window?

Having young children at home (or older ones, for that matter) makes it almost necessary to have a routine. Morning routines , in which you play the drill sergeant: "Eat your cereal! Brush your teeth! Wash your face! Hang up that towel!" may seem like cruel and unusual punishment to your kids, but you're setting habits for them.

The same is true with bedtime routines. And in addition to doing what's best for your kids, getting things done on time has added benefits for you.

Will your children thank you when they're older for making them stay on schedule? Perhaps not. But just watch if they don't do the same with their own children!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

It's a great feeling when you child comes home from school and tells you he's excited about joining a club or a sport.

Perfect! He'll be involved, busy, he'll stay out of trouble, make new friends, learn some new skills.

It's not so great when you have a child who is "joiner," an overachiever who seems to want to join and conquer everything offered. Even if he can do it and still keep his grades up, spend family time and keep up with household chores, you worry about his stress, and how long he can keep up such a busy schedule. And is it good for him?

This is one of the times that parenting is difficult, when you look back on the newborn days and wish things were that easy, your decisions that black and white.

There are times kids need to be pushed into joining extracurricular activities, and there are times they need to be reined in. And then there are the kids who want to join things but then when it comes down to actually doing there, balk, complain, fake illness and refuse.

Experts say an over-scheduled child is an unhealthy child. And tough as it might be, it's your job to strike the perfect balance between bored and burned out.

Think of it as something else to put on your resume! If you can do this, you can certainly manage any group of people and negotiate business deals!