Colin Edelman's Blog

Posted by Colin Edelman

Both stickball and softball are alternative's to America's pastime, and greatest game ever, no questions asked, baseball. It provides the best food in the stands, the most variation for stadiums, with even more than one team per state.

California tops it with five:

1. Los Angeles Angels (of Anaheim)
2. Oakland Athletics
3. Los Angeles Dodgers
4. San Diego Padres
5. San Francisco Giants

Talk about a game dependent on numbers. You can break down batting and pitching stats in so many ways its nauseating for the casual fan.

Getting back to the issue at hand, I'll break down each game (although the variants of each are plenty).

Stickball:

Originally played on the streets of New York City, the game is essentially baseball without base running. Players determine the distance for a single, double, triple, and home run and imaginary base runners are used each time a ball is hit and not caught.

Some players use a rubber ball (handball/ racquetball/spaldeen), others a tennis ball. The stick of a broom can be used, while many sporting good stores sell stickball bats.

When using a rubber ball, often time the batter self-pitches. When using a tennis ball, the rules are similar to baseball, where the pitcher can walk or strike out the batter. The strike zone is determined by a box, often time sprayed painted on a cement wall.

The number of innings are also optional. Some consider stickball the poor man's baseball, and others just enjoy it after a long week at the office.

Check out the next entry for the softball rules and then the showdown...

Posted by Colin Edelman

Softball:

Is way more popular, on both the national (Amateur Softball Association) and international (International Softball Federation) level. It is even considered an Olympic Sport, that is until the International Olympic Committee decided to kill the sports off starting in 2012. Check out USA Today's take on it.

The game is extremely similar to baseball but with the following exceptions:

1. A larger ball (not necessarily softer) which is considered easier to field
2. A different bat to hit the balls
3. 4 outfielders over 3 (left, left center, right center, and right field)
4. Some leagues consider no leading or stealing bases
5. There is a mercy rule if a certain amount of runs are scored
6. There is fast pitch, slow pitch, high arc,
7. The count can start at 1-1 (1 ball and 1 strike) to speed up the game

That's the major differences, making it seem completely different from baseball, but it's like comparing Texas Hold'em to 7 Card Stud- two different games based on the same core of rules.

So what makes for a better game?

Stickball is up first:

Pro- There is no base running

Con- Not as much of a team sport (usually limited to 4 players per team unless you want to just bat)

Pro- It is very satisfying watching a ball you hit go over the roof of a school, or all the way down the street

Con- There aren't many great courts (if playing with a tennis ball)

Pro- You don't need an umpire

Con- Tennis balls or racquetballs are easily lost

Good outing, how about softball?

Pro- It is the closest you can get to baseball without playing it

Con- You need a lot of players to get a game

Pro- It is infamous for drinking during the game

Con- There is a LOT of running.

Pro- There are coed leagues

Con- For a friendly game and alternative to baseball, some people take the game way too seriously.

The winner.....stickball. A faster paced game, requires less players and equipment. There aren't any leagues in the suburbs- check out the New York Emperors Stickball League in the Bronx.

Posted by Colin Edelman

Most of the emails I get regarding the Equation Anaylsis Tests either offered here or whereever the readers get their questions come from the UK.

Morgan Worthy, the originator of the Formula Analysis Test, which was originally found in - AHA! A Puzzle Approach to Creative Thinking, is from the US. Check out his blog for plenty of info and puzzles.

Will Shortz, then based the Equation Anaylsis Tests off of Worthy's idea, making it popular in his GAMES Magazines. Check out another puzzleman's blog. He was born in Indiana and now lives in New York.

So where does the British invasion come from? Accordingly to the reality of Wikipedia, the term diltoid was penned by the British newspaper, The Daily Express. The Express had the puzzle:

1 = DitLoID... which was....

1 = Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich....which was...

a story by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn about a Soviet Prisoner from the 50s.

Now that random trivia has been said, it doesn't really explain why the British are so into the puzzle. Maybe they are more into emailing games columns or perhaps they just enjoy puzzles more.

Either way, this random observation has reached its word limit.

Till next time...

Posted by Colin Edelman

When it comes to casinos in NY, you normally have two choices for locations: Altantic City and Connecticut. Both Mohegan Sun and Foxwoods are in CT (located 15 minutes away from each other) and this was my first time heading to either of them.

I've been at AC plenty of times and am usually happy with experience, staying in low budget hotels either on and just off the boardwalk, so I knew Foxwoods would have to be at least an improvement from that.

You don't have much of a choice when it comes to sleeping at Foxwoods. I was happy with my choice at the Great Cedar Hotel. It was 4 of us total in a suite with 2 beds, a couch, and cot at $60/each. The room was real nice, had wet bar (soda and water) bath/jacuzzi, shower with two bathrooms total.

Everything was clean, in working order, with a great view. You really can't go wrong. The food choices are limited, but Fuddruckers is the way to go. When you are walking around, it feels like a mall with various shopping outlets and standard food selections. The first night I had an oversized sandwich from the deli, that was surprisingly good.

The atmosphere is an attempt to honor the traditions of the Native American tribe, and it's done tasteful enough. I liked the aquarium in the lobby- nice touch.

The casino itself was great. There wasn't the smoke filled rooms I expected. I stayed mostly in the poker room (1/2 NL) where there was no wait for Thursday night or Friday afternoon with new tables opening constantly.

The dealers varied, but plenty of friendly and helpful staff both on the casino floor and in the hotel, including the front desk who gave all four of us our own key.

Definitely pick up a rewards card, you can buy food at most of the stores at the casino.

I would definitely go again.

Posted by Colin Edelman

In case you missed it, Part 1.

He doesn’t allow his repetitious job seep into his life outside the factory, something best illustrated by his self-made meals. Never will an identical course be eaten within a given week, from pork lasagna to pasta and cottage cheese. A second full-sized refrigerator has escaped his kitchen and happily holds all of the beverages and condiments while the kitchen fridge is as stuffed as its owner after the day’s consumption. The kitchen is his art room, the counter, his easel.

I appreciate the humanity of this man, since he is still able to dream, despite his age. When most men are looking into younger generations of cars and women, he keeps his eyes set on the felt of the poker table among the greats. He understands that each part of life is just a step towards an ultimate goal, whether it’s a satisfying death or a pile of money. Just because he is behind according to the standards of society, he fears nothing.

The first few months were rough, as his coworkers said it would be, but he got through it and broke into the industry. No joke, there actually is a corporate ladder of assembly men and David Skal climbed it successfully. In a world where a man is defined by his hands, he took ambidextrousness to the next level. This is the amazing part, to be involved in an insanity-producing environment and actually succeed through one’s own talent. Skal was able to brush off the laughter at his last high school reunion and then smile while he was promoted. David Skal is a rock, a quick moving, talented rock and for this, I salute him.

Posted by Colin Edelman

He wakes up every day knowing what he has to face, the usual grind. But he manages to brush his long black hair the same way after a shower. Looking in the mirror, he sees no one in the bed behind him, but knows it will be occupied when he returns. This usually makes him smile, but other days it hurts. He longs for the day to see the same body in that bed for more than one weekend, rather than these empty relationships that prove nothing.

Realizing this is of little importance, he makes his way to the water gun factory all the same. Being an assembly lineman takes patience and tenacity. Standing in the same spot, repeating the same actions everyday all day takes thick skin, it takes thick skull. To not go absolutely insane after one day takes something, but years? I have only the utmost respect for someone who can handle that. It definitely takes a toll on the man, such as when he arrives at home and the feeling of placing water caps in the gun remains. But his hands have become stronger and faster so that his dream to become a card dealer for the modern day gunslingers is realized one step closer each day. It is there that he will be able to use his skills with some variation, an element he craves each day.

Continue on to Part 2.

Posted by Colin Edelman

Well it’s been about a month now since the great word limit protest, and little has changed. In fact, nothing has changed. In the world of Suite101, changes don’t come easy, I suppose.

For others, like Jerri Blank. It’s quite different. If you remember from one of her early adventures she speaks about the changes in her life:

“I’ve changed. People change. Changes… I'm not the same Jerri Blank who informed on those blind orphans. I'm not the same Jerri Blank who revealed the hiding place of those Guatemalans… such as yourself. And I’m not the same Jerri Blank who took a crap in the Fleishmann’s holly bushes… last night.”

This is what Jerri talks about when she decides not to rat out her locker mate, Kimberly, as a retard. Two seconds later, she changes her mind, declaring:

“Clearly she’s retarded. If she was’t, she would’t have been a suspect in the first place.”

I love that logic. So what have I learned from this experience and watching many hours of Strangers with Candy? Exploit the system for all it’s worth. Undermine it, because fighting it in any other way will get you nowhere.

When in doubt, just ramble. It doesn’t not not matter if you make sense, because if you don’t make sense to someone, that just means they’re not on the same level as you. Whether they have to move up or down on a brain scale to get to that level is irrelevant. Just remember: the retarded just want cake.

Posted by Colin Edelman

Last Sunday, The Simpsons aired two new episodes, the latter being the season finale and 400th episode. Congratulations is in order for the writers and executive producers, not to mention voice actors for not committing suicide.

The 399th episode though, was the show's take on 24. Being that both shows air on FOX, suspicion over a tie-in between the shows is easily founded. Thankfully Jack Bauer and Chloe O'Brian don't take up more than 45 seconds of screen time as they really don't mean anything to the plot.

Forgive me for this, but the show is more of a pastiche than parody. A pastiche is a literary, musical, or artistic piece consisting wholly or chiefly of motifs or techniques borrowed from one or more sources. From Dictionary.com.

The episode revolves around a stink bomb attack, and overall takes itself seriously. It doesn't get ridiculous, but just takes the themes of terrorist attacking the country and places them into bullies pranking the school.

South Park, on the other hand, shows The Simpsons how a parody is done, showing the total ridiculousness of 24. The show doesn't reveal itself as a 24 parody immediately, plays into every stereotype, and makes one realize how ridiculous 24 actually is. And this is coming from a fan of The Simpsons and 24.

There you have it, South Park takes it by a landslide. If you'd like to be your own judge, there are many ways to see the episodes, but here's a start.The Simpsons: 24 Minutes

South Park: The Snuke.

Posted by Colin Edelman

As you may or may not know, Suite101.org requires its writers minimum word limits on their articles (400 words) and blogs (250 words). While it is understandable that these are established to stop writers from throwing together real short articles, they truly limit the creativity of the writer.

Effective writers can get their point across in as few words as possible. This is a basic tenet of advertising, as well as screenwriting. Why bog down viewers/readers with word after word. When the point is made, there is no need to dwell on it. If one person does not understand the point, then they can ask the author or a fellow reader to clear the confusion. If many people do not understand it, then the problem stems from the writing.

But it's better to avoid insulting your audience's intelligence. Instead, follow the clichéd yet credible statement, less is more.

State your argument and support it with evidence. This is the easiest and most effective way to write, whether it be research paper, newspaper article, blog, manifesto, etc...

Tracing back to high school, I remember the a great feeling when getting a higher grade on an essay test than the kid who would cry if he didn't receive the best grade in the class. His paper was 3 pages, while mine was 1. I didn't go as far to rub it in his face, in fact, the next test I tried a repeat performance and got a terrible grade. Still, I stick to my argument that there's no point in repeating yourself, being redundant and repetitive is very annoying. The more you repeat the facts, the weaker your argument becomes because you are stuck on one point. To throw in another cliché, if you don't have anything positive to say, don't say anything at all.

So where is this all leading? I will be sending this to my editor and hoping that word limits can be reconsidered. Instead, I propose that the system flags all articles under the word limit. If the article is deemed to contain an insufficient amount of material, the writer will be penalized by writing another article. A three strike rule seems fair.

This would allow more freedom so that writers aren't forced to ramble when writing articles and blogs. To define a meaningful article by its word count is very questionable.

Posted by Colin Edelman

If you missed part 1 or part 2, check them out or else this would be a whole lot of babble talk (maybe it is anyway).

Like Clueless, Fast Times at Ridgemont High sets aside the plot and focuses on the characters. The latter differs in that the main characters are both female and male, so that the perspective is fairly balanced. The balance also carries into the visual style, with the opening sequence highlighting both males and females gazing at each other. But the female is granted the stronger role, as it is the voice of the woman that is heard, asking “Did you see his cute little butt?” Heckerling also satisfies the female eye with more male eye candy, such as a close-up of a male shaking his behind while washing his car.

The films are also similar in their portrayal of the male characters as feeble compared to the females. In introducing the school, the males are shown as incompetent when it comes to handling their locker. One student attempts to fit a clearly too large of an instrument into his locker while another discovers his book is covered in gum, with his sweater soon to follow. This student is Mark Ratner who leads the pack of immaturity as a shy, sexual inexperienced individual. After a date with the girl of his dreams, Stacey Hamilton, she asks him to unzip her blouse and he complies, but when spotting her bra, he quickly diverts his eyes away. Later, when they finally kiss he finds an excuse to exit, which he clearly regrets this as he hesitates walking back to his car, but leaves after the light in Stacey’s room turns off. The best example of Mark’s juvenility is on his date when sitting at the restaurant, he appears tiny in a huge overstuffed chair.

Another infantile male is that of Mike Damone, the school’s lady-killer whose ego exceeds his charm. Trying to impress younger students that are asking for tickets, Mike explains that the school’s football star is his friend. However, when greeting the football player, he is simply told not to **** with his car. Later in the film, Stacey asks if he wants to take off his clothes and instead of giving a normal playboy’s answer of “Definitely”, he quickly says “You first.” After impregnating Stacey, Mike is unable to come up with half the payment for an abortion. As a result, he bails completely, not even fulfilling his promise to give her a ride to the clinic. As Mike explains to Rat, he has the attitude, but his actions do not reflect it.

Stacey Hamilton is the strongest female of the film, evident by her character as well as extensive screen time. She begins as a virgin, but afterwards becomes aggressive with her sexuality. She is the one that comes on to Mike, frankly stating her desire for him. After her date with Mark, she explains to her friend that she made the first move and she made the second move only to embarrass herself after he left. At the conclusion of the film, she knows exactly what she wants, which is romance and she has it with Mark.

While Fast Times at Ridgemont High focuses on sex, Clueless maintains image as its main theme. This holds close to the Lacanian approach to feminism, which emphasizes the mirror stage of Freudian theory. The theory explains that a child has an inflated sense of themselves after they see their image in the mirror. Throughout the movie, Cher is seen grooming herself appropriately in a mirror. The first thing she does on her date is look in the side view mirror. However, she claims at one point that she does not rely on mirrors and instead trusts Polariods. This is interesting in that it brings back her paradoxical characteristics. Cher certainly relies on her image, but perhaps it is a sense of insecurity that dissuades her from trusting the mirror.

Amy Heckerling devises alternative views of the female role in society in her films. It comes as no surprise that it takes a female director to point out the gender roles of society which breach into ridiculousness. Hence, it makes perfect sense that she chose comedy as the medium in both films.

Posted by Colin Edelman

I am a fan of the Penny Press. They are able to provides hundreds or even thousands of puzzles at a relatively cheap price. Their collections, including the Puzzler's Giant Book of Word Game include many different types of games, similar to the king of all puzzles: Games Magazine.

The Penny Press is the poor man's version of Games Magazine, with a large quantity rather than quality. The pages are made of similar paper to newspaper and don't have that crisp feel that the Games do.

There are puzzles in the Penny Press that aren't found in Games Magazine, like the number seek, similar to its cousin the word seek, only with numbers. For an example of some of the great puzzles the Penny Press provides, check out this week's puzzle.

My biggest complaint, however, is that the Penny Press is too big, with too many puzzles. Part to blame is my attention span, that when failing at one puzzle, I quickly move onto the next, leaving half finished puzzles scattered at this all-you-can-eat buffet of puzzles.

Why finish this puzzle when hundreds of others are waiting their turn? I have to work on my self control when it comes to starting what you finish. I can probably attribute the same behavior pattern to my life in general, but because this isn't a psychologist's office, I'll keep it at that.

I have 513 pages worth of puzzles to finish and if that isn't good practice, I don't know what is.

Posted by Colin Edelman

For this week's puzzle, you essential need to find a set of words that rhyme and have letters that can be arranged to form another word.

I essential thought of random words that weren't too obscure so that they would be an anagram (a word, phrase, or sentence formed from another by rearranging its letters, from: Dictionary.com).

The easiest way to find an anagram? Using the internet of course. Wordsmith.org has provided an Internet Anagram Server, where any word is broken down in every possibility in seconds.

After finding an anagram, you can decide which word becomes part of the rhyme scheme- will it be BAKER or BREAK?

The choice is easy when The Rhyme Zone allows you to find every word that rhymes with the entry you provide.

The process is so easy, even a college dropout can do it. And here I am, available to take your insults, advice, or whatever it is you like to email me with these days.

You gotta stall 'em longer Bill, they're coming strong and we haven't cleared access yet.

I got nothing man, I got nothing! What am I supposed to do?

Just tell them the truth...

Never!!

Until next time....

Posted by Colin Edelman

Free things are what college students thrive on, adults understand as a ploy, and little kids use for a day before losing interest.

They are also a great way to receive mail. Who doesn't enjoy getting a package in the mail every once in awhile? Especially when they contain samples of food products, soap, or t-shirts.

I recently received protective coveralls. What do I need that for? Nothing I can think of.. for now. But when that day comes, I know I can save a trip to the local safety clothing store, not to mention $50.

There are plenty of free sites out there, and I'll share a few. To start, there's a comprehensive list of what you can get on your birthday for free. A great overall site for free things, coupons, and discounts is Fatwallet.com

For magazines of different industries, Freebizmag is a great place to start. Sometimes you can get free subscriptions to major publications as well.

There are plenty of others, which can be found through web searches, but for now this is a good start for all those just getting into the free scene.

Posted by Colin Edelman

In response to the classic question, “why do bad things happen to good people?” one can respond, why do all good things happen between 1 and 3 a.m.?

I moderately enjoy where I live, which is a suburban area outside of New York City. The problem is that the population of the town has a majority of people 45 years or older (43%). This translates to few businesses open past 10 pm. The town literally shuts down because everyone’s in bed watching television, reading, or getting ready to sleep.

This isn’t a complaint about a lack of things to do during the night. This is about performing a basic human need: grocery shopping.

Buying groceries during the day in a town that thrives on coupons is a test of patience and general sanity. You have to deal with crowded aisles that are very narrow to start, slow moving customers that take browsing to the next level, and typically apathetic cashiers tired of arguing with customers over pennies and nickels.

King Kullen is one of the few stores that boast, “Open 24 Hours!” Unfortunately, for this town, it comes with the disclaimer, “Tuesday to Friday only, closing at midnight on Saturday and 9 p.m. on Sunday.”

If you are thinking, what the hell is this guy talking about, you obviously never went to a grocery store at 1 in the morning when the aisles are wide open, there are plenty of employees to help you find a product, and no lines to wait on at all.

In my short experience of grocery shopping, there is no doubt that Meijer is the best “grocery supercenter” in the country. Unfortunately, they are limited to the Midwest (Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Ohio, and Kentucky). I recently called Meijer corporate office to open up a store on the East Coast and am awaiting a call back.

What sold me on Meijer was that their brand of food products that is extremely comparable to any brand name you find on the shelves. Beyond this, the deals you find are great, and most importantly, don’t require a coupon or the club card that so many supermarkets deem necessary.

And finally, the trump card...the alcohol. Meijer has a full aisle dedicated to beer, wine, and alcohol. Not just your basic Coors, Bud, Sam Adams, and few foreign imports. You walk into a liquor store within a supermarket. This is what Long Island needs to catch up with.

Until then, I’m still waiting for that phone call back.

Posted by Colin Edelman

This week you will find the word ladder puzzle, a game where you must transform one word into another, by changing one letter at a time. With each step of the ladder (change in letter), the new word must be a word found in the English language.

There are variations to the rules, as in only using common English words versus more obscure ones (see question number 6 from this week’s puzzle).

In fact, the version featured here is really considered word golf, whereas the original version, brought to us by Lewis Carroll, had a few other options. The original, also called doublets, letters can be added or subtracted with each step, or even rearranged, as an anagram.

Kevin Seifert has created a word ladder solver (only suitable for word golf though), which may be basic in appearance, but is all you need to get the puzzled solved.

Posted by Colin Edelman

When a fellow poker player begins to describe one of their hand’s, I try to visualize it, but there always seems to be a lack of information. Example:

Fellow Player: “Okay so I was playing at the Taj and I’m dealt Queen Jack. Everyone calls…”

Me: “What time was it?”

F.P. “It was 2 a.m., right when everyone starts to loosen up. So anyway, everyone calls…”

Me: “How many players were at the table?”

F.P.: “Oh, 7 at that point.”

Me: “What was your position at the table?”

And it goes on. The number of drunken players, who has how many chips, if their spouse is standing behind them: all of it matters. Specifically, every player at the table has a hand history that plays into every decision you make during the game.

Will you know what to do even with all that information? Not always, but it certainly helps.

The amount of variables in the game is the cause of much heart break, anger, and ATM transactions.

In order to limit the number of variables, players often calculate odds. Again, this helps, but every player has heard at least a handful of stories when the odds kicked them in the face. Cardplayer.com has a helpful odds calculator, but unfortunately only provides situations up to five players.

For a few situations in which odds and other factors come into play, check out this week’s article.

Posted by Colin Edelman

Robert Jen, author of the Trivia Why's book series, also maintains a blog constantly updated with trivia and games similar to what you will find here.

Updated daily, the site covers a range of topics, including sports, entertainment, science, literature, as well as a themed quiz and a QuizQuilt every Saturday. This puzzle consists of six trivia questions that are clues to solving the final puzzle. Click for directions or an example.

Check back next month for an article written by the man himself.

Posted by Colin Edelman

I’d like to thank Mark H. Harris for his efforts with maintaining his website, Blackhorrormovies.com. He has provided hours of entertainment with information on horror films involving African Americans.

You will find a comprehensive timeline, a list of black actors and actresses in horror films, and a varied section called The Graveyard with a list of the monsters that have come from Africa (Africa: Evil or Just Misunderstood?), and one of my favorites No Black People Were Harmed in the Making of This Film.

Each film is briefly reviewed, but it’s the pictures and their captions that get the most laughs. A good example is Shark Attack.

For interested parties, Harris also designed his own reggae review site that includes overrated and overlooked albums (these are questionable, but I’ll respect his opinion), and albums for those just getting into reggae.

For trivia on black movies in general, check out this week's post, or just skip to the answers with movie clips.

Posted by Colin Edelman

My previous post wasn’t written to slander Subway for their questionably delicious deli meats. As stated earlier, I’m a fan of the cold deli meats. But I am convinced I will never gain eat anything that requires toasting from Subway again.

Now that I won’t be sued, I’d like to mention the side that I had after my pastrami sandwich. My local fish market makes a mean New England clam chowder. Because it’s the greatest soup beyond lobster bisque, I didn’t hesitate bringing it in a plastic container from home to work. It was outside of the refrigerator for less than an hour (and in 30 degree weather at that).

My first mistake was microwaving it for too long, which resulted in a layer of oil rising to the top of the cream, seafood, and vegetables. I decided to let it cool down and mix it back to its original consistency. Thinking back on when the soup was originally purchased, I thought it was exactly a week ago (it was in fact bought 5 days earlier- not sure if the time difference matters).

Spotting that thin layer of oil, I thought, “Maybe this isn’t the greatest idea.” But being that I wasn’t satisfied with half a foot-long from Subway, I trekked on. My final thought before eating the first spoonful, “If anything, I’ll pay for it later on the toilet.” The understatement of the month.

It smelled and tasted pretty good, which was my justification that it had not spoiled. Whether it did or not, is questionable. After adding the variable of terrible pastrami, there’s no way to know unless I submit myself to an experiment of another pastrami sandwich. Sorry, not happening. I’ll eat food off the floor, off a stranger’s plate, but NEVER from a Subway toaster.

Posted by Colin Edelman

After I got home from a weekend in Michigan, I was happy to find a coupon clipped from the Sunday edition of the New York Daily News for a free 6 inch pastrami sub from Subway. I was so thrilled by the possibility of a free week of lunch, that I found copies of the newspaper in the garbage pile at the local convenience store.

Now armed with 5 coupons for the weekday, I started Monday extremely hopeful. My relationship with Subway is as follows: The cold deli meats are great, but I steer clear from the hot sandwiches, mainly the meatball hero and the steak and cheese. Meatball heroes should be eaten at pizza places, Italian restaurants, or a decent deli. Please respect this rule. Steak and cheese is questionable in any fast food setting: Applebees, Friday’s? Forget it. I even have beef with Outback.

So why so much faith in the pastrami which is toasted too? It’s in my blood. A Jew cannot say no to pastrami, even when it’s cooked in the bowels of a Subway kitchen.

Here’s the breakdown:

Hearty Italian bread, pastrami, melted provolone, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, cucumber, pickle, salt and pepper, and Russian (or was it 1000 Island? There was some confusion at the counter).

Before the first bite, I could feel the grease on the sandwich dripping onto the wax paper. Looks good so far. The first bite: not impressive. It was so greasy that it was actually wet. Yet, I finished it and thought, how disappointing. The bread was too hard, the meat too slimy, and a 6 inch cannot satisfy most humans. But free is free. Afterwards, I considered going to a different Subway before taking the train home. Thank God I did not.

11:45 p.m. I am in my bathroom getting rid of the day’s intake. Because of the sandwich’s greasiness, there is no surprise to the consistency of my stool. I wrap up around 11:55 and I’m about to leave, when round 2 begins on the bowl. Again, no surprises- it comes with the territory.

12:15 I am laying in bed, getting ready to sleep when my heart rate increases, and I seem to get a bit warm. Meanwhile, I am sleeping under a window that is half open because the heat in the damn apartment is at its second and final option of 100% (rather than 0%). I have a breeze making it 10° outside yet I’m feeling like I’m in a sauna. It takes 15 seconds to realize what’s happening and I reach the bowl in time to see all of my lunch and dinner laughing at me while it floats inches from my face.

Good riddance. I got rid of the shitty sandwich that shouldn’t have been eaten anyway, and now I can look forward to a good night's sleep. I lay back down and doze off. 15 minutes later, I’m back in the act of heaving like Mary Kate at her NYU dorm. Cursing everything and constantly spitting, I sit on the floor of my bathroom with a fresh coat of sweat and the idea that waking up at 8 a.m. doesn’t sound so acceptable anymore.

Well I have to give to whatever it was in my intestines. It had regularity down pat. Every time I vomited, I felt great and ready for bed. And every 30 minutes, I awoke and repeated the process, until 4:30 a.m. That’s when the viral pastrami decided to bookend this entire experience with bowel movement that can be described only as a waterfall: pure fluid, no chunks to spot. I was completed flushed, checked out. It wouldn’t be surprising if I spotted an organ or two in toilet bowl before this ended. Which it hasn’t yet. My only regret so far is not keeping a camera in the bathroom.

On a final note, if anyone would like the left over coupons for the free sandwiches, please contact me at gamestrivia@suite101.org. (Only valid in NY Metro Tri-State area including Fairfield County, Connecticut).

Posted by Colin Edelman

It seems that when doing strenuous activity, my mind often clears and begins generating ideas. I first noticed this while swimming long distance, when I'd fall into a groove. By the 7th lap, I forget I am doing work and my mind can focus on anything and everything.

For example, in the future, everyone will own a store to sell their personal belongings. It will be a cross between Ebay, Craigslist, and a yard sale. No rent to pay, no listing fees, and free for everyone to see. I see it as a room in a house where merchandise is laid out, available for purchase. Unfortunately this idea hasn’t been formulated exactly yet, but it’s there.

Not surprisingly, many of these ideas don’t go anywhere, but the fact that they are generated while my body is screaming for oxygen makes me curious. A similar phenomenon happens on the toilet. Here, it is easy to account the large number of ideas generated simply on the mass amount of time I spend in there. Still, the body is working, zoned in on a task, when an idea splashes into my head.

This is a line of thought that needs to be worked on….good thing there’s plenty of 2 ply in the bathroom.

Posted by Colin Edelman

I learned chess when I was 8 years old. Then I forgot it.

A few years later, after watching Searching for Bobby Fisher on VHS, I bought Chessmaster 5000 for the PC, the series almost as popular as Chestmaster. Playing the computer I learned the game, and appreciated it more.

Unfortunately, I never played enough to make it to the streets of New York where there are chess boards engrained into tables and crowded by the elderly. That is on my to do before I die list.

Check out W.T. Shehan IV's interview with ChessWorld founder Tryfon Gavriel.

Posted by Colin Edelman

A recent trip to Atlantic City proved for the best. Played at Harrah’s and the Taj. There was a sickening 300 person wait at Borgata. Of all the hands played, the following stuck out the most. Perhaps it was the luck or just bad decision making by (both?) of the players.

Playing 1/2 NL.

Few (non number) players ahead call $2

Player 1 raises to $15.

Player 2 calls.

I call.

Pot = $51

Flop: 7d 3d 10c

Player 1 bets $20

Player 2 folds.

I raise $50 more.

Player 1 calls after some deliberation.

Pot = $191

Turn: King of spades

Board: 7d 3d 10c Ks

My queens are hung to dry, especially when Player 1 immediately bets $20. Betting $20 into $191 pot threw me for a loop, and I told him this. He smirks and looks away from me, and I know he has the King. There is no other way he can bet at a pot that I’ve already raised unless he made his hand. Looking back to the flop, I think he probably had AK of diamonds which almost justifies him calling my raise.

Now it’s my decision time. I know he has me beat and there are only two cards in the deck that can make my hand (the other 2 queens). 2 outs with 46 cards remaining is a 4.34% chance I am going to hit. According to pot odds, there has to be at least $440 in the pot to make the call worth it. Screw probabilities. The player was practically handing me a chance to hit with a $20 bet. So I called.

And I hit.

The third Queen showed her pretty face on the river. Player 1 checked and I bet $75 which he calls. I show him the trip Queens and he didn’t show, but said he has the King.

Sure I got lucky, but the player let me get lucky. I told him, almost any bet over $20, really a bet of at least $50 and I was gone. He shrugged it off and had another drink. God bless.

Posted by Colin Edelman

Cryptograms have made their way to the articles page. For all of those in the dark, these puzzles are codes that can be broken through logic. This is what they look like:

KHHU KH RH UHX translates to:

MEET ME IN TEN

Sometimes hints are given, such as themes to the puzzles, and sometimes you can tell certain letters have to be one of a few letters. For example, if there is a single letter, it can only be an A or I. Also common combinations include: THE, IN, OF, AT.

To get some practice, try the ones posted here, or check out Teppo Pihlajamäki's site that uses Flash to reduce the amount of wasted erasers.

In unrelated info, I found a great optical illusions site by Michael Bach. This is one of my favorite illusions but make sure to check out the whole page.

Keep your bread buttered, and your sandwiches toasted. Until next time....