2007 Academy Awards

Posted by Coral Andrews Feb 25, 2007

I work in a cool indee video store called Far Out Flicks and I’ve only seen three of the nominated films.What’s my excuse? I’ve spent the last month saturated in six seasons of The Sopranos.

Whadya gonna do?

Little Miss Sunshine I saw last Friday night. An Inconvenient Truth, I listened to in shock and awe while I was serving customers - also in shock and awe ( I need to absorb AIT again!!) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest – I saw on the big screen accompanied by surround-sound, popcorn with a touch of butter and a diet coke.

Movie blockbusters - the big screen, indee films – the small screen. Bada Bing. Whoa.. I'm channeling Silvio and Pauley here. So, very last minute, (because I’ve spent all my time renting out these films!) based on my sixth movie sense, and customer osmosis, here’s my take on who’s NOT going to win Oscar.

The envelope please….

And the Oscar for Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role won’t go to…

Leonardo DiCaprio (Blood Diamond), Ryan Gosling (Half Nelson) or Will Smith (The Pursuit of Happyness).That leaves Forest Whitaker for the Last King of Scotland and Peter O'Toole for Venus! …. Run Forest Run !!!! .... because Peter O'T a.k.a Florence of Arabia might beat ya! [Peter O’Toole and director Martin Scorcese reluctantly share the “Susan Lucci of the Oscars” moniker!]

And the Oscar for a Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role won’t go to…

Jackie Earle Haley (Little Children) – [nice comeback tho], Djimon Hounshou (Blood Diamond) or Mark Wahlberg (The Departed) .. so it’s Dreamboy Eddie Murphy (Dreamgirls) or Adam Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine) - (remember him croonin' up a storm, stapling that fake snow in Eddie Scissorhands?)...I saw three golden ships come sailing in ….

And the Oscar for a Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role won’t go to ….

Penelope Cruz (Volver), Academy Queen Meryl Streep (The Devil Wears Prada) Academy Grand Dame Judi Dench (Notes on a Scandal) [ film looks positively lascivious with Dench downright daunting in the trailer! ] or Kate Winslet in Little Children – so that means another, pithy acceptance speech, from Helen Mirren if she has any left under her crown!

And the Oscar for a Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role won’t go to …

Adriana Barraza (Babel) Cate Blanchett (Notes on a Scandal) Rinko Kikuchi (Babel) or sob sob…. shimmy, shimmy .. the refreshingly real Abigail Breslin for Little Miss Sunshine.Ya know, Jennifer Hudson must feel good to have proved American Idiot’s Simon Cowell or Simon Cower as I have dubbed him, uh, what's the word … WRONG. Florence Ballard deserves her Supreme due! (Bad pun intended)

And the Oscar for Achievement in Directing will not go to…

Clint Eastwood (Letters from Iwo Jima) [ Eastwood has Golden Boys (Unforgiven, Million Dollar Baby) – come on, give someone else a chance] Babel (Alejandro Gonsalez Inarritu) Stephen Frears (The Queen) So, get it over with and give the blasted statuette to Marty S. already????

And the Oscar for Best Motion Picture of the Year will not go to…

Babel, The Queen, Letters from Iwo Jima, or even the gobsmacking Departed. Drum-roll please..Little Miss Sunshine like its ultra-cool little Olive will kick ass, beeping and chugging, with all those little Oscar ballots pushing it triumphantly into first place.

Time for champers. .

That’s all…