Toolkit - Listen

Posted by Jerry Lopper Oct 30, 2006

Welcome to Personal Development Toolkit. Each week, Personal Development Toolkit will feature a one word tool you can use to construct additions to your personal growth and development. Each week's toolkit will include a brief description of the tool and a suggestion for using it.

Listen: Listening is more than hearing. Listening is hearing and understanding. The trait often quoted as most admired by others is listening. Nothing will enhance a relationship more than listening carefully, generously, and completely.

Example: Jennifer is known as a great listener. Her friends love to talk with her because she always seems to understand them. They call Jennifer a great communicator, which always amuses her because she mostly just listens and offers encouraging, supportive words.

This Week: Listen to everyone with your total attention. Avoid choosing a response. Listen. Listen to the words, the tone, and the pace of the information the person is providing you. Listen to the words chosen.

What is significant about the words not chosen? What wasn't said? Listen to the gaps. What emotions do you feel from the conversation? Echo back what you believe you heard to verify you heard correctly.

Avoid the temptation to provide a solution to someone's problem. Unless specifically asked for your opinion, most people just want to be heard. Speaking their mind helps them vent and helps them formulate their own solutions. Which is what most of us really want.