Reader Mail: We Were On a Break!

Posted by Cherie Burbach Oct 18, 2007

Dear Dating@Suite101:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. Last year, we had a big fight because I wanted to get married and he didn’t. We broke up for about two weeks, then missed each other and got back together. He says I’m “the one” but I found out he had slept with his old girlfriend during the short time we broke up. When I confronted him he said we were broke up and that was okay for him to do. He says he loves me and wants to marry me. But he hasn’t really asked and besides that, I don’t feel like I can trust him. What should I do?

You don’t trust him. The minute you broke up he jumped in bed with someone else. Now he says he wants to marry you, but let me ask you: Where’s the ring? If he hasn’t “really asked” you that means he doesn’t really want to marry you.

Your boyfriend saying it was okay for him to have a fling with the ex the minute you two were done is ridiculous. It reminds me of Ross’ “We were on a break!” line on Friends. Was it “technically” wrong for him to do that? No. Does that mean it’s something people do when they really care about someone? No. It takes time for people to get over one another, and if it’s that easy to do you probably weren’t that serious about the person to begin with.

Besides all that, you broke up because you wanted to get married. And are you? No. He’s still talking. (And, if I had to guess, probably still canoodling with the ex.)

Dump him. Move on. Find someone that’s on the same page with you.