On Again/Off Again Relationships

What do you think about this blog?

I had a friend that cited he was in a relationship that was on and off for one year--yet he says it was his most successful to date. I don't think on and off again relationships can be classified as being successful---how could it be if you are breaking up time and time again?

It depends on the length of time that you took your "breaks", and if there were any other people involved (people you dated in-between). I think for the first few months its easier to be on and off because it's very easy to break up when your relationship is new, and you really don't know one another. I had a rocky start with my BF (first year) but our breakups never lasted anymore than a week...but we'd draw back to each other because we knew we cared a lot for one another. Now we both agree that the arguments we had in the past were pretty lame. We were both in a bad time in our lives but once our lives got straightened out some, our love life got better too.

I'm in one for two years now. I leave bc I think he starts to act controlling. I am really getting sick of it, I am to the point where I realize this is never going to change and I need to leave for good. When I leave he never asks what HE did to make me wanna go, only that I leave all the time. Make life bearable and I will stay...Not gonna happen. Moving on!

Being in the on/off relationship has been emotionally/spiritually challenging. It has been three years. Notably, first year was difficult b/c i held onto ALOT of past insecurities and resentments (living in my past). He holds onto sense of being in control,a leader/teacher, and father figure almost. so for a while it was playing out that he was not only my psychologist, but a lover, friend, parent.....so it began as an unstable foundation of emotional and physical dependency. In turn, I believe respect on both sides were lost. Time goes on and we both acknowledge my personal growth (continual) has helped the way we communicate (here is where i should say he should be working on his form of communication too but we never discuss it as an issue, although it is). But this is not enough and we continue to leave our relationship ambiguous. In leaving our relationship half hearted (are we together for real? question looming) we both had some indiscretions that REALLY hurt each other causing a month of romantic relationship ending but occasionally meeting up to discuss "what went wrong ". Also, in this time i really worked hard on personal growth, loving myself, making new friends, learning spiritual practices. he reports to me that he had been doing a lot of thinking (he mentioned that he tried to work on himself but failed to express what those key things were mind you). We decided after that month to ease into it again and here we are. It's two months after that critical point. We have to consciously work our way through arguments now but it is better. He is actually my partner now and not my whole life so the dependency issues have become a more healthy sharing of lives with friend and family. But i would be kidding myself if i said that i feel solid. i will not try to upset or be the drama initiator. But i do realize that their are personality differences that we are just not going to be compatible with no matter what. When we discuss it, we just see it differently. So at this point i wonder if when a REAL trial and tribulation occurs, or in making important life decisions (children, living together) if we could pull together or tear each other down. and if i feel like i am not sure then possibly i am calling out my own fate.