Be Clear When You Ask Someone Out

Posted by Cherie Burbach Jun 19, 2007

Before I started Internet dating, I never seemed to “get” when guys were asking me out. It sounds stupid, I know. I always kept super busy and probably gave off a “not interested” vibe half the time, and the other half I was just very bad at subtleties. I wasn’t great at showing someone I was interested in them, or "getting it" when a guy was flirting with me.

So how did I ever go out with people? For a long time it was the most, direct (and sometimes obnoxious) guys that would get my attention. It was easy with them, there was no guessing because they were so loud or persistent or arrogant. Unfortunately, these guys also made the worst boyfriends!

But one day there was this guy I worked with who was sweet and funny, and every week would say to me, “So you got a lot going on this weekend?” And I’d say, “No, not too much. How about you?”

This went on for several months. I thought he was cute but honestly never thought he was interested in me. Then, another kind of rude but outgoing guy from work asked me out. And I agreed. The first guy, the nice one, went crazy, asking why I had been turning him down for six months! Didn’t I know he liked me!

No, I told him. I didn’t.

Here my shy guy thought I was rejecting him every single week!

This was a big lesson for both of us. (See how you should always be thankful for your ex relationships? They’re big lessons in love!)

As it turned out, after admitting his feelings I did go out with him for awhile. And more importantly, I learned that I needed to kick up my potential date awareness meter. Or at least start paying better attention. And my guy learned to be clear about asking someone out.