Remodeling—a Family Affair

Our bathroom conversion that I was recently sharing with you about was not just an alteration of the structure of the home, it was an investment in the family, especially doing the work ourselves. One of my favorite pictures of all time is one I took of my kids pounding down the wall that needed to be removed for this project. My daughter was about 4, my son 7, and they both had their construction aprons on, and were pounding away with their little hammers, and my son at least, still remembers and talks about that project with a great fondness.

Not only was working on the project itself an investment in the family, but the results have enhanced the family life as well. That "walk through" closet (similar to a "walk IN closet," but also a passageway to our room) is my son's favorite hiding place for when they play Hide and Seek. I guess he followed my example-I found it to be a great hiding place for the same game when I was playing with them a while back! The big whirlpool tub has also made a great reward for the kids on special days-and here I was THINKING that I had put it in for my wife! Sometimes I think the kids enjoy it on those special occasions more than she does!

Other remodeling projects have had similar impact for my kids, as tools for bonding, for building memories, and for giving them a sense of ownership and place, a sense of "home" that they would never have, had we left the house the way we found it. Some of my favorite memories when I was growing up were of doing such projects with my dad in my younger years. Those growing up years tend to have so much chaos, so many problems, and kids often lack a sense of belonging and stability. As a teen when my world was falling apart and full of uncertainties, I could look around and see in the projects in our home, many of which I had worked on with my dad, and see them as elements of the permanence and stability of my father's love, even if I couldn't always feel that love from day to day.

I would suggest to you that your projects shaping and investing in your space, do much more than shape the aesthetics of your house, but shape the very lives of those living in your home. That fact is so much more true when you work the projects together as a family when and where you can, whether its with spouse or kids or both. I'm usually able to work the projects more EFFECIENTLY on my own, but in light of the big picture, I am working them most EFFECTIVELY when I involve the family.

Shaping spaces and shaping lives-

Jim