For Tucker: Goodbye, Farewell and Amen

Posted by Barry M. Grey Mar 14, 2009

His name was Steve Weinberg, and he drove a van with his business name and corporate 800 number splashed all over it.

I went out to curbside to greet him in the dark. He was supposed to show up between 7 and 8 p.m., and wouldn't you know it -- he pulled up at exactly 7:30.

We chatted quietly. He asked a few questions, with the kind of practiced amiability that suggested he'd been doing this kind of work for a long time.

But he was nice, and I wondered why I couldn't remember anything about him from his last visit about five years ago.

I showed him into the house. Re-introduced him to my wife and nine-year-old daughter. He met Donya the pit bull mix, who couldn't have been friendlier.

And amazingly, Tucker got up, wagged his tail and joined the welcome wagon. He'd spent virtually the entire day on the sofa, or on the bed, passive, shivering in pain and unable to eat or even swallow water.

But here he was, greeting our guest. He couldn't have known Steve was there specifically to see him.

For two hours before Steve's arrival, we'd fussed over Tucker. Petted him so lightly, worried too much pressure might heighten the pain from the tumors bulging from beneath his fur.

We led Tucker to a comforter on the floor. Steve prepared the injections -- one to knock him out, another to finish the job. He calmly reassured us Tucker would feel no pain at all.

Donya was dispatched to a hallway; she'd be disruptive if allowed to stay.

Our daughter sniffled out a goodbye. Told Tucker she always loved him. Her remarks were so simple, yet so elegant. She then joined Donya out of sight.

My wife and I stroked Tucker ever so gently, talking to him as the first needle went in. I lay on the floor, face to face with my handsome boy. I wanted my face to be the last thing he saw, and as his consciousness faded, I wanted him to hear, one last time, the words I've told him thousands of times.

"I love you, Tucker. You will be with me always. Soon, I hope you'll be with Augie. Tell him we miss him, too.

"I love you, Tucker.

"I love you."

And he was gone.