Happy Birthday

Today is my birthday. My husband is throwing me a huge party. Of course, it wasn't his idea; it was mine. I started telling him about how he would be throwing this party three years ago. You see, I am one of those people that makes a big deal about birthdays. I announce my birthday a month earlier and remind anyone within earshot (this includes complete strangers) as many times as possible. Hearing "Happy Birthday" makes me happy.

Telling our students "Happy Birthday" makes them happy too. We all have access to our students' birthdays, so it is easy to simply note them on our class rosters. Chances are, most kids will begin announcing to you that their birthday is on the horizon at least a week ahead of time. I had one student who counted down every day until her birthday (December 20th) on the papers she turned in - beginning the first day of school! However, some kids aren't like I am. They don't want a big deal made in front of the class and would die if you made everybody sing to them. BUT, these kids do like it when people tell them "happy birthday" just like anyone else.

I tell each child "happy birthday." Usually, the quiet ones look amazed that I even know. Sometimes I write it on a paper I had back; sometimes I leave a post-it note on their desk. If I know the family well; I slip a card into their backpack.

I don't stop there, either. If I happen to find out that a special day is coming up for a child - this could be a bar mitzvah, the birth of a sibling, or even the anniversary of graduation from a rehab program - I give them a special recognition. One time a mother confided to me that a coming day was the first year anniversary of the death of her son's grandfather. They had been exceptionally close, and she had even given him permission to stay home from school that day,which he refused. I left a card on his desk saying that I was thinking about him and understood how hard these kinds of losses could be. After class, this 285 pound football linebacker gave me a big hug with tears in his eyes. He still comes to visit me.

Most of these gestures will not evoke such responses. They will, however, make you more human, more worthy of respect and effort, in the eyes of your students. They will work harder and behave better knowing that you took the time to reach out personally to them. It is definitely worth the research.

For all you reading this - "Happy Birthday!"