Posted by Rupert Taylor
Canada as a Village
If Canada had a population of 100 people:
42 of us will be functionally illiterate
Four of us will not be able to read or write at all
Fewer than one (0.69) will have spent some portion of the last year in prison
35 of us want to see the death penalty brought back
25 of us will have a Facebook account
72 of us will regularly use a cell phone
Six of us will have diabetes
Eight of us will have asthma
22 of us will believe that God created humans within the last 10,000 years
23 of us won’t believe in the existence of any god
17 of us will believe Jesus Christ’s death on the cross was faked and that he married and had a family as outlined in the work of fiction The Da Vinci Code
Two will follow the Muslim faith
18 will have been born outside the country
Eight of us will be ex-pats and will not actually live in Canada
22 will speak French at home
67 will speak English at home
Four of us will be Aboriginal
Three will be Chinese
13 of us will be members of a visible minority
Two of us will be over 80 years old
18 will be aged 14 or younger
Five will be pre-schoolers
Three of us will believe that Elvis Presley is still alive
26 of us will own a firearm
Two of us will have read a book of poetry in the last year
75 of us will have read a daily newspaper this week
15 of us will have a university degree
Nine of us will have less than a Grade Eight education
Two of us will live on a farm
Three of us will work in health care
Almost nine of us will not have a job
11 of us will live below the poverty line
One of us will be a millionaire
One of us will be homosexual
57 of us will live in detached houses
None of us will live in an igloo
Posted by Rupert Taylor
Along with, I suspect, many other residents of Waterloo a “survey” appeared in my Waterloo, Ontario mailbox from my Conservative Member of Parliament, Peter Braid.
As anybody in the polling business will tell you, the quality of the results you get from a survey depends to a large extent on how you ask the question – garbage in equals garbage out.
In, no particular order, here is what Mr. Braid wants to know.
Question: “Michael Ignatieff, leader of the Liberal Party, was quoted in the Kitchener-Waterloo Record on April 19, 2004 saying, ‘We will have to raise taxes.’ Do you support a tax hike?”
This is what’s known in the lawyering trade as a leading question, as in: “Mrs. Arbuthnot do you agree that the accused is a vile scumbag capable of the most heinous crimes?”
However, if memory serves, Mr. Ignatieff actually said the Liberals would “consider” raising taxes. This comment fired the Conservative attack machine into high gear. The Liberals were so spooked by this that they have subsequently promised not to raise taxes.
The Conservative economic policy has been to cut taxes and increase spending massively. What could possibly go wrong with that? At last count 56 billion things have gone wrong. Anybody who thinks Canada is going to dig itself out of the deficit hole the Conservatives have put it in without raising taxes is in need of therapy.
Question: “Are you satisfied with the performance of Prime Minister Harper?” What are we talking about here? “With a Little Help from my Friends” at the National Arts Centre? Don’t know. I’m an ordinary person, and as Mr. Harper has reminded me, ordinary people don’t care about the arts.
Question: “Are you satisfied with Peter’s performance as your MP?” Was he also on the NAC playbill?
Question: “Do you approve of the Conservative government’s handling of the global recession?” I was not aware that the Conservative government was handling the global recession. I thought Barack Obama had a hand in it. Don’t Nicolas Sarkozy, Angela Merkel, Gordon Brown, Yukio Hatoyama, and a few others have a bit of input? The only reason Mr. Harper is doing anything is because he is in a minority situation; every fibre in his Libertarian body screams out for minimal government action on anything.
Question: “Are you satisfied with the over $112 million in local investment Peter has helped secure for the riding since being elected in October 2008?” Time for a bit of math. One hundred thousand people (give or take) in Waterloo, about a year since the last vote, so that works out to about $3.18 a day each. Doesn’t really stack up well against the $10.6 billion going to prop up General Motors does it? Anyway, isn’t that $112 million my money? Just asking.
Question: “As part of its Economic Action Plan, the Conservative government will make $5 billion in new, strategic investments for research and innovation. Do you agree with this use of tax money?” Objection, Your Honour. Counsel is leading the witness again. I would far rather see this “strategic investment” going towards funding my retirement now deferred for many years, possibly for ever, because of the Conservative government’s cancellation of the tax holiday accorded to income trusts and the subsequent gutting of my savings for my declining years. Far back in the mists of time, during Mr. Harper’s first term, wasn’t there a Conservative promise never to tax income trusts? Again, just asking.
Finally, I’m requested to check which of four parties I intend to vote for. I feel a bit cheated. Currently, 19 parties are officially registered with Elections Canada, including the unfairly overlooked Work Less Party, and Animal Alliance Environment Voters Party of Canada. Mr. Braid’s “survey” is going to deliver skewed results if 15 parties are excluded. But then, that’s probably the whole point of the exercise.
