Coping with Family Gatherings

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My husband finds it extremely difficult to attend family get-togethers because, to be completely honest, being around little ones crushes him.

Everyone knows that he would love to have a baby, but not everyone is understanding when we don't show up for family gatherings. A prime example was Christmas last year, where we were literally attacked for forgoing the festivities.

We have been considered selfish, arrogant, and impossible. We have received countless emails and letters from family members who felt our decision to opt-out of difficult gatherings populated by newborns, pregnant cousins, and baby-centered activities was unacceptable. They don't realize what it means for us to be infertile; after all, we are the only infertile couple they know. Cruel gesture of fate, or likely due to the fact that we are the only couple open about our infertility? Who knows.

I started sending out a link to a beautiful, moving online video to help them understand our predicament. It became much easier than emailing them back with an extensive explaination of our personal grief. The movie explains our ache so completely. Be sure if you're suffering from infertility to have a box of kleenex handy when you're watching.

Sometimes family members find it hard to discuss infertility issues with those who are struggling with infertility due to pre-set notions on the rarity (by the way, more people are battling infertility than one might think), the causes, and even the treatments available. (Ever hear that if you just relax, you'll get pregnant?) Not everyone feels comfortable with airing their infertility status at the Thanksgiving table; and for some couples, infertility is a personal challange that is difficult to share with people who they might fear will be judgemental.