Andrea Mariano's Blog

Posted by Andrea Mariano

I'm lucky. You could write a calendar using my regular period as a 28 day mark. But some people have to deal with PCOS infertility, a condition marked by missing periods and excess medical issues. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a missing period when you're trying to get pregnant. You'd spend hundreds on POAS tests alone. But imagine the disappointment when you discover it was PCOS causing the menstrual delay. It would be heartbreaking. No wonder PCOS is such a devastating condition for those dealing with infertility.

Posted by Andrea Mariano

I learned the hard way how not to lose weight for IVF. I was drinking a lot of coffee, enough to bring Picasso to shame. Now that I'm going through caffeine withdrawal, the message is clear. Coffee holds back weight loss.

Part of this is due to the fact that caffeine reduces rest levels, and you have to get sleep to lose weight. Another reason is that it causes changes in your chemistry. Of course, I have been losing weight by other means, basically careful dieting and meal planning. But the key to my weight loss has been a combination of things.

Posted by Andrea Mariano

Like wildfire, the rumor that taking low-dose aspirin in preparation for an IVF treatment protocol runs rampant online, even to the point that most adopted the opinion that if it doesn't hurt, then why not?

The truth is, studies have shown low-dose aspirin *might* hurt. True, it is often indicated for people with other infertility issues, and it can help during a heart attack, but supplimenting with aspirin isn't always a rule when preparing for IVF treatment.

Yes, you should be taking your prenatal vitamins with follate in preparation for infertility treatments. Yes, calcium and iron might also be beneficial, as is a diet high in protein, but doctors are starting to relay that taking baby aspirin as part of the IVF regimen is not recommended.

Posted by Andrea Mariano

I have been thinking about the monetary impact of our infertility treatments a lot lately. Though I'm losing weight at a regular pace, the money aspect is intimidating.

We have a much shorter journey than most couples. Since insurance covers one treatment, our out of pocket cost should not be much more than $2000, but that $2000 looks like a gigantic mountain to climb when we're standing at the base.

My age is creeping up on me fast, and I'm scared about that. It doesn't make the money come any faster. Friends have given me a lot of ideas about how to make money too. I recently started up a shop on Cafe Press selling products with my photography and artwork to try to make a little money. I'm also considering ecommerce stores.

A lot of people have been talking about Baby or Bust and how one couple is relying on the rest of the world to help pay for infertility treatments. I don't think I could ever do that.

I don't know how I feel about Baby or Bust right now. I do know that I have only good wishes for them. They are like we are, struggling with the pain of infertility and likely full of similar apprehensions.

Posted by Andrea Mariano

My body is a mess. Before we start our infertility treatments this winter, I have a lot of changes to make. In addition, we are going to have to get financially straight, and my husband will have to stop putting his laptop in his lap. It gets very hot! There are so many things to remember.

Preparing for Infertility Treatments involves a lot more than cutting out the cigarettes and coffee. What I'm referting to is a complete lifestyle change. There are several aspects to preparation that never occurred to me, but now I'm downing prenatal vitamins with my breakfast, running to lose weight, and putting us on a budget. And even with all of the sacrifices, there are no guarantees. This is a scary venture, and it's finally beginning.

My husband and I might be starting to prepare physically for IVF, but the mental preparation scares me. I can't see how we are going to make this happen, and what are we going to do if it doesn't work? Will we join the countless couples who split up after trying and failing at ART? Will we get pregnant our first try, resulting in a rollercoaster of emotion? What if it's triplets, and my life becomes at risk along with the lives of our little ones? How do you get completely ready for infertility treatments? I don't know if it's even possible.

Posted by Andrea Mariano

Narrowing down which infertility clinic to use does not need to be a guessing game.

From basic questions about the practice to overall feel, choosing an infertility clinic is one of the most difficult parts of beginning the medical treatment portion of your infertility journey.

Using the CDC tables is a good first step, but to really get a feel for a clinic, it's important to ask many questions and schedule that first all-important interview with the potential doctor to make sure your personalities do not clash.

In addition, it is essential to check out your insurance policy's infertility coverage. After all, many insurance companies simply refuse to cover infertility. If you aren't covered by insurance, you should set up your financing options. Knowing how to pay for treatments is essential when researching infertility programs. After all, once treatments begin you have other things to worry about.

Posted by Andrea Mariano

Recently, we have been pulling apart the CDC's ART tables to decide which local infertility clinic to choose. We also have a long list of questions to ask the doctors and staff to make sure we have chosen well.

I must admit, I had to get my calculator out last nice to analyze all the charts, but I don't regret doing my home work. The charts are very "behind the times" in that they are three years old due to the fact there is a delay due to pregnancy outcomes. I'm sure everyone who reads the CDC ART charts wishes the charts were a little more modern. At least we can get a ballpark idea of success rates this way.

Posted by Andrea Mariano

Recently, my husband lost his job working for a local factory. It was such a shock to us, as we relied on this job for insurance. Immediately, he sent out resumes everywhere, but no one seemed to want to give him a job.

Under pressure from his nagging wife (me) he went to a temp agency to get short term work. What he found was a long-term opportunity whose insurance with Blue Cross/ Blue Shield insurance covers infertility! It is an amazing miracle.

As many of you know, infertility is typically not covered by insurance policies. A few states mandate infertility insurance coverage for locally owned companies employing a minimum number of employees, but finding a job in Indiana with insurance that covers infertility is amazing. He works for Patterson Dental. Of course, our infertility journey is far from guaranteed a positive outcome, but at least we can afford more cycles.

Insurance is a popular subject for infertile couples. The better insurance coverage is, the better likelihood an infertile couple will get the best form of treatment for their case. After all, if insurance covers only certain infertility treatments, couples are likely to spend a lot more money on what an insurance company will pay for than what they directly need, costing the insurance company in the process.

Posted by Andrea Mariano

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My husband finds it extremely difficult to attend family get-togethers because, to be completely honest, being around little ones crushes him.

Everyone knows that he would love to have a baby, but not everyone is understanding when we don't show up for family gatherings. A prime example was Christmas last year, where we were literally attacked for forgoing the festivities.

We have been considered selfish, arrogant, and impossible. We have received countless emails and letters from family members who felt our decision to opt-out of difficult gatherings populated by newborns, pregnant cousins, and baby-centered activities was unacceptable. They don't realize what it means for us to be infertile; after all, we are the only infertile couple they know. Cruel gesture of fate, or likely due to the fact that we are the only couple open about our infertility? Who knows.

I started sending out a link to a beautiful, moving online video to help them understand our predicament. It became much easier than emailing them back with an extensive explaination of our personal grief. The movie explains our ache so completely. Be sure if you're suffering from infertility to have a box of kleenex handy when you're watching.

Sometimes family members find it hard to discuss infertility issues with those who are struggling with infertility due to pre-set notions on the rarity (by the way, more people are battling infertility than one might think), the causes, and even the treatments available. (Ever hear that if you just relax, you'll get pregnant?) Not everyone feels comfortable with airing their infertility status at the Thanksgiving table; and for some couples, infertility is a personal challange that is difficult to share with people who they might fear will be judgemental.