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Nov 11, 2008

Raising a Baby Insomniac

My stepsons stagger out of their bedroom in the middle of the night, asking, "Can't you make him stop crying?"

My husband and I banter argumentatively with each other - "It's your turn to get him, " "No, I got him last." In the morning, no one says two words to each other.

This is what it's like living with a toddler with insomnia.

That's what my 22-month old son has been diagnosed with after a long road of physical inquiry. We've had him repeatedly assessed because at night, he often cries every hour, and screams if he gets put down. If you're lucky enough to get him to fall back asleep, he'll pop up again before you've started dreaming.

As a newborn, he had GERD, or gastroesophageal reflux disease. He never spit up, he had "silent reflux" which caused him a great deal of pain when he laid down to sleep. At 15 months, however, he had a PH probe (a catheder inserted through his nose down to his esophagus to monitor how often acid crept up) which clearly stated that reflux was no longer an issue.

At 17 months he had tubes put in his ears due to frequent ear infections caused by the GERD. This didn't do anything for his sleep.

At 21 months he simultaneously went through tonsil and adenoid removal surgery and an MRI. The tonsils and adenoids were removed because he was diagnosed with sleep apnea, which caused breathing interference and sleep disturbance. The MRI was to make sure he had no neurological problems. It came back clear. At this point, I have severe mother guilt over making him into a guinea pig.

The funny thing is, he's always been such a smart, happy, bright little person. During the day he's a total gem. I call him Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He's curious, active, speaks well, reads obsessively, and giggles helplessly. He struts around the house holding onto the cat's tail with a car in the other hand. He's truly special in so many ways. He just doesn't sleep.

I've learned to embrace that. I read somewhere that many geniuses had severe insomnia. Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Thomas Edison, Abraham Lincoln and Benjamin Franklin, to name a few.

I've also begun to let my son cry it out. I've hated that controversial method since before he was born. I always said, "Oh no, not me, not my kid. I'll never let him wail all alone in a room, feeling abandoned and afraid." But I am. Because we're desperate, tired and frankly, I've got no more to give. So for the past week, the little turkey has cried each night for 4-5 hours at a time. Only last night did we get some respite. He only cried for an hour. Soon I might try giving him a vitamin D supplement.

I'm lifting my cyberglass: Here's to an even better night tonight. I just may be sane by the weekend.




Comments
Nov 13, 2008 9:01 AM
Katherine Spitz :
Hi I enjoyed your blog. I, too, had a baby insomniac and finally tried Ferber. But mine cried for 11/2hours one night wi Ferber. When I told my old school, very no-nonsense pediatrician, he frowned and said that crying it out for 11/2 hours was cruel and that some babies shouldn't be Ferberized. Ferber himself said the same thing in a New Yorker article a few years back. Hope your doesn't cry for hours again. We went back to Sears' method after that, and today, at 9 years old, he's the best sleeper in the house. Mine also had GERD.
Apr 28, 2009 11:56 PM
Guest :
My kid is not insomniac, so this may not be helpful to you... Still, instead of the cry it out method, I used another method which lets them cry but for a small amount of time that gradually increases. I'm sure there it has a name, but I don't know it. I would let her cry for 20 secs, go in, say that everything is fine, go out, increase the time by 20 more secs (40 sec), go in, assure everything is fine, go out, 20 more seconds (so 60 seconds this time), and so on. I have to say that I was impressed on how quickly it solved the problem!! She was waking up every 2 or 3 hours and in 2 days she was fine, waking up only at 6 am (which was kind of ok for us). When I was going in the room, I'd either talk with her, rub her back, but gradullay reducing my interaction with her.
2 Comments