Latest Articles
"...Whether or not his stories were the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, we were never really sure. Nor did we care, just so long as they kept us entertained."
Science Provides Cure for Writer's Block
"...the eleventh dimension is a like cosmic bubble bath of infinite proportions - and our universe is merely one little bubble in the bath. Just as long as we're at the end farthest away from the plug-hole..."
Rogue Trader Hits Alleged Irish Bank
“…currency traders earn their daily crust by carefully analyzing all the data available before making informed decisions as to which currencies are going to rise and which are going to fall in the near future. Or else they toss a coin.”
Editor's Recap: 2001 An Irishman's Odyssey
"...And that was when it hit me. That was the moment I finally knew the source of my troubled days and sleepless nights, the moment I recognized the root cause of the constant and unwavering guilt that had driven me to seek the help of Dr. Siegfried Mulder."
"...conversation around the dinner table was punctuated with anguished cries as members of the family attempted to retrieve their food from the cauldron."
"...a defibrillator is a device used by doctors to apply electric shocks to hearts that have ceased to function. Personally, I find a January credit card statement more than adequate for the job."
"...if it is necessary to pay the equivalent of Argentina’s national debt for a cup of coffee and an apple strudel, it will be of some consolation in future not to have to pay currency conversion charges as well."
"...contrary to popular belief, saddles are not made of leather. Saddles are actually constructed of concrete, or possibly carved from granite. Either way, the effect is much the same."
"...I produced a dying scream of such sheer, unadulterated terror that Alfred Hitchcock, had he been present, would have raised his hat in admiration."
Be Prepared! (But please leave out the magic fruit)
"...I would have thought the last food item anyone would want to introduce into a fallout shelter is baked beans."