New York Yankees' rookie sensation, Iget KlutcHits, has been voted the American League's Most Valuable Player AND Rookie of the Year for the 2006 season despite having only 61 official plate appearances. The Base Ball Writers Association of America (BBWAA), in the closest vote ever for MVP, elected KlutcHits over Jason Giambi, a decision that is certain to foment great controversy.
KlutcHits joined the Yankees after the struggling Bombers had lost sixty of their first one hundred games to put themselves in last place, twenty games behind Lou Pineilla's surprising American League East Division leaders from Tampa Bay. Yankees' general manager Joe Torre, who had been one of the most daring and innovative managers in the annals of baseball history, a manager who never rested on his laurels and who constantly prodded his players to new heights through his unique motivational techniques, recommended that rookie Yankees' manager Susan(sic) Waldman use KlutcHits as a pinch hitter.
Torre's reason, with which Waldman completely agreed, was that the Yankees already had Jason Giambi as the designated hitter and since all the defensive positions were set, using KlutcHits as a pinch hitter was the most viable option, especially since full time center fielder Tony Womack had not hit a home run since 2004 and Torre's sabremetrician sources told him that Womack would eventually hit a home run since the law of averages dictates he must. Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?
The media, especially members of the conservative newspaper that decides which news is fit to print, immediately questioned Torre's decision, pointing out that the American League has the revered designated hitter rule, a rule that has made managerial strategy in the American League an afterthought. But Torre and Waldman explained that Jason Giambi had worked so hard to regain and eventually surpass the excellence he had achieved before his illnesses, he would remain the Yankees' full-time designated hitter.
Torre continued, explaining that now that the Yankees had obtained the services of Rafael Palmeiro to play first base, the only way KlutcHits could help bolster the Yankees' sagging offense was for Waldman use him as a pinch hitter in strategic situations. Upon signing Palmeiro, Torre said,
"Palmeiro will feel right at home, playing next to Giambi. They have so much in common, it's really a no-brainer." Baseball's first manager of the of the opposite sex agreed with Torre, emphasizing the point that she was not a "yes" man. Outspoken Yankee Gary Sheffield, when he read what Waldman said, thought to himself, "Well, she's half right."
Go To Page: 1 2
