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Runaway Baseball Team

© Harold Friend

All's well that ends well, or at least that seems to be the case. In one of the most bizarre incidents ever in American sports, the AWOL New York Yankees American League Baseball Club has been found safe and sound in New Mexico. Team player spokesperson Suzyn Waldman, who it now has been revealed was with the team throughout the ordeal, made the telephone call to Yankees' owner George M. Steinbrenner III that ended the search for the team that has won the most championships in sports history.

The Yankees were scheduled to play the final series of the 2005 season against the Texas Rangers beginning on September 28 but the team never appeared at Newark Liberty Airport for its charter flight to Arlington. It was only a few minutes before take off time when concern set in for the pilot and crew of the airliner. After waiting as long as she dared, the pilot finally called the Yankees' offices only to discover that no one knew what she was talking about. The pilot, a retired air force officer who helped thwart threats to America's freedom during the Vietnam conflict, the Grenada invasion, Operation Desert Storm, and most recently Operation Enduring Freedom, explained that the Yankees had not appeared for their flight.

Finally, Mr. Steinbrenner was contacted and told of the problem. He said that he would have his "people" get to the bottom of the mystery but much to his chagrin, nothing could be learned other than the fact that the entire New York Yankees team was missing.

The airport was locked down, inconveniencing thousands of travelers, but it was to no avail. A search of the airport did not find the team, helicopters and spy satellites were employed, people-sniffing dogs were released throughout the New York Metropolitan area, and an APB was issued for Kevin Brown, but there was no trace of the Yankees.

Night arrived in Arlington, Texas but the Yankees did not, forcing the game to be postponed. Mr. Steinbrenner went on national television, telling his team that all was forgiven and that they should come home. When reporters asked Mr. Steinbrenner for what he was apologizing, the Yankees' owner took a page from Jason Giambi's book and stated that everyone knew what he was sorry about but that it was better if he didn't say anything more. It turned out that Mr. Steinbrenner's forgiving stance eventually would be the key to the Yankees' return.

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