1) Backstage VINCE MCMAHON pats himself on the back (not literally) for buying WCW. He says there'll be a simulcast. "One man will make history... and that's me... Vince McMahon." Then he makes fun of JEFF JARRETT, spelling his name "G-double O-double N-double E GONE." GOONNE? Whatever. We cut to opening credits and fireworks.
2) HUGE boos for KURT ANGLE, who doesn't look happy about the WCW purchase. No, actually, he's upset about not having an opponent for Wrestlemania. "What kind of world do we live in when the Gobbledygooker... the freakin' Gobbledygooker has an opponent at Wrestlemania, and me... a former European, Intercontinental and World Wrestling Federation champion doesn't?" He says even though he doesn't have an opponent, he's still the best wrestler in the WWF. CHRIS BENOIT interrupts, getting a decent face reaction from the crowd. He takes exception to Angle saying he's the best, cause "if you gave me just a little time, I could make you tap." He gets in Angle's face. "Oh, is that so? How dare you! Does Canada even have an Olympic team?" He's sick of carrying Benoit, and so he accepts Benoit's challenge for a Wrestlemania match. He also says he'll "NEVER tap out to that stupid crossface thing." Y'know, nobody's mentioned AUSTIN, ROCK, HHH or UNDERTAKER yet, and I love it. This is a great way to start the show. Benoit and Angle trade some right hands, Angle tries for the Anklelock but Benoit reverses and hits the Crippler Crossface, which Angle taps to almost immediately. EDGE and CHRISTIAN save Kurt, but wow, a great segment.
3) Backstage VINCE MCMAHON and TRISH STRATUS make fun of BUFF BAGWELL and LEX LUGER. "The Lex Express ran out of gas a long time ago, and Buff's been stuffed." He's on the phone doing all this trash talking, by the way. Who's he talking to? He doesn't say. We cut to commercial.
4) Backstage DEBRA tells MICHAEL COLE that... actually, she doesn't say much of anything. She has no comment, and I don't mind.
5) TAZZ d. VAL VENIS in a Lumberjack match. RTC and APA are our lumberjacks. Now why didn't they have the six-man match tonight and the lumberjack match at Wrestlemania? Tazzmission applied quickly but the ref's back was turned and STEVEN RICHARDS hits the Stevenkick. Money shot hits, but ref's still distracted. Tazz with a fancy suplex and he gets the pin. Are we already short on time? It's like 8:20!
