RAW Report 1/22/01

WHY AUSTIN? Maybe they will explain tonight... but most likely we'll get more boring main events involving KANE and RIKISHI.

1) a) TRIPLE H and STEPHANIE hit the scene, and H has THE SLEDGEHAMMER with him. He's also wearing a jean jacket that was probably worn by one of the Disciples of the Apocalypse a few years back, but that's no matter. H looks really mad. Why oh why wouldn't they let up cheer him instead of building to some sort of Austin angle which couldn't come CLOSE to a payoff as an H-KURT ANGLE matchup would've? The crowd gives H "another lower anatomy chant" as JR calls it. H says tonight was supposed to be his night, since he was supposed to win the WWF title from Kurt Angle last night at Royal Rumble, but STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN changed all that for the worse. Stephanie is pouting to show support. H says he's sick of playing games with Austin and so he says that once Austin shows up tonight, "I... will be waiting." Don't worry, Austin, VINCE MCMAHON and THE WRITING TEAM will bail you out and book you to look so good at the expense of everything else that the ratings get cut in half.

b) KURT ANGLE hits the scene. Kurt says HHH should really be "Triple W... for wah, wah, wah." Then he does a pretty funny H impression! Kurt says he's getting no respect, just because people get involved in his matches. H isn't impressed and he tells Angle to hit the ring so they can rumble. Angle, in turn, isn't impressed, and says H can't win without foreign objects. H says why not a rematch for the WWF Title, and Angle says OK. "Consider it done, monkey boy." Monkey boy?

c) TRISH STRATUS joins Kurt, and says she wants to challenge STEPHANIE. Stephanie says OK. Who the hell am I supposed to cheer for here? JR says "What a way to start" the show. Why should I believe that?

2) Backstage a limo pulls up and VINCE MCMAHON gets out. So what. We cut to commercial.

3) VINCE isn't impressed by these matches, and he tells MICHAEL COLE so. He says that maybe the "two huge matches" will take place, and maybe they won't. Trish vs. Stephanie is a huge match?

4) TEST d. WILLIAM REGAL for the European Title. Regal apologizes in advance for beating up Test. Trust me, Regal, we don't mind. Test rushes the ring and hits some sloppy power moves but doesn't impress or interest anybody. Regal regains control and hits some hard left hands, Irish whip is reversed and Test hits a sloppy big boot. Scoop slam by Test and he goes up top. Huge flying elbow and a THREE COUNT? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? Two dozen guys I'd pick to win the European Title and they put it on flippin TEST?

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